How should I be feeling?

[BigZai]

Ill sum it up quick
I got pregnant in november 2010, bf told me to "just kill it" exact words, we ended breaking up, sometime late spring i saw he was engaged to someone else, I had my son and have been raising him alone (which i am happy about because i dont want the father to be involved) and today I just saw on his FB that he had a baby with this other girl a few weeks ago and live in another state.

Part of me feels soooooo happy. Because now i dont have to worry about him trying to get involved with my kid
but
Part of me feels like why did he want me to "just kill it" so bad when he APARENTLY is married and has a kid now. I know he wasnt cheating on me because we were together 24/7 so WTF

HOw would you feel?

 

[Mally01]

Well, you should probably feel glad because you were obviously not meant to be and being without him and not having him around your child makes you happy so that's the important part. Who knows why some men do this? I know people, male and female that have been with their partners for up to 10 or 15 years and then break-up and then within a year actually get married, the whole shebang with the new person they barely know.

My theory = ........Honeymoon period syndrome. They get involved with a new, fresh victim (lol) and everything is sunshine and roses (as per usual in the first year or two of a relationship) and they commit, have babies get married etc, etc because they believe that this is better than what they had before, when all it is, is being in this honeymoon phase. Just typical and I wouldn't let yourself get concerned about what is going on his life. He sounds like an impulsive tool if you ask me.

 

[Laura2919]

Well for a start I would be soooo upset if my FOB had a baby with someone else and paid no attention to the two he had but everyone is different and everyones situations are different.

I would also be really angry. He says just kill it and then has another baby with someone else... Thats just terrible, has he even stopped to think the affect that could have on his child when LO is older? Honestly sometimes its amazing how the hell they sleep at night

 

[teal]

I'm sure I'd be somewhere between really upset and really angry.

Sending you massive hugs xx

 

[Mally01]

Eeek I've also just read somewhere on another baby forum about a poor young girl aged 19 whose partner got her pregnant and left her, then set up home with another woman who couldn't have kids and they adopted two! The FOB then paid for/ looked after / was a father to these kids that weren't even his own whilst ignoring his own biological child.

Phewie some people behave in the oddest ways don't they??

 

[babydue2011]

Ill sum it up quick
I got pregnant in november 2010, bf told me to "just kill it" exact words, we ended breaking up, sometime late spring i saw he was engaged to someone else, I had my son and have been raising him alone (which i am happy about because i dont want the father to be involved) and today I just saw on his FB that he had a baby with this other girl a few weeks ago and live in another state.

Part of me feels soooooo happy. Because now i dont have to worry about him trying to get involved with my kid
but
Part of me feels like why did he want me to "just kill it" so bad when he APARENTLY is married and has a kid now. I know he wasnt cheating on me because we were together 24/7 so WTF

HOw would you feel?

Pretty close to my situation. Me or the other girl has not had our LOs yet. I found out over a FB picture... lets just say i was very upset, could not stop crying and overwhelmed with emotion (hurt, anger, sad) ... At this point i am still shocked but then again know i got the better end of the deal. i would never want to spend my life with a monster such as my ex. he lied about everything and still does. I wonder if he asked this girl to "just kill it" as he did me. but i will never know the truth. One day tho karma will come and our exs will get whats coming to them. i honestly believe this in my heart. I thought he would or could never cheat or hurt me like this but knowing the monster he has become.... nothing would suprise me.

 

[BigZai]

Ill sum it up quick
I got pregnant in november 2010, bf told me to "just kill it" exact words, we ended breaking up, sometime late spring i saw he was engaged to someone else, I had my son and have been raising him alone (which i am happy about because i dont want the father to be involved) and today I just saw on his FB that he had a baby with this other girl a few weeks ago and live in another state.

Part of me feels soooooo happy. Because now i dont have to worry about him trying to get involved with my kid
but
Part of me feels like why did he want me to "just kill it" so bad when he APARENTLY is married and has a kid now. I know he wasnt cheating on me because we were together 24/7 so WTF

HOw would you feel?

Pretty close to my situation. Me or the other girl has not had our LOs yet. I found out over a FB picture... lets just say i was very upset, could not stop crying and overwhelmed with emotion (hurt, anger, sad) ... At this point i am still shocked but then again know i got the better end of the deal. i would never want to spend my life with a monster such as my ex. he lied about everything and still does. I wonder if he asked this girl to "just kill it" as he did me. but i will never know the truth. One day tho karma will come and our exs will get whats coming to them. i honestly believe this in my heart. I thought he would or could never cheat or hurt me like this but knowing the monster he has become.... nothing would suprise me.

I didnt cry i just was sitting there eyes wide stund that he actually went to another state and got married and had a kid since december when we broke up because i didnt want to "just kill it" But you know we probably are the lucky ones the girls our exes are with now are going to have to deal with the lies and all the other shit we had to. They will get it one day I do believe that.
Also alllllll of the fear i felt when I was out with my kid is gone now that I know that we are not even in the same state I dont have to keep looking over my shoulder because I am afraid if he sees my son he will change his mind and want to be involved.

and every time I see my baby smile i think how lucky i am

 

[Mally01]

You girls are definitely better off. I am guessing your FOB's were nice to you in the beginning / you were in love etc at some point? So it only means that as time goes by these other women they are now with, will also end up hurt and distressed over lies they tell and their behaviour won't change, it's who they are.sad but true. Count your blessings xxx

 

[babydue2011]

thank you Mally... i surely am counting my blessings. i feel stronger then ever. i am ready to move forward with my life and be happy.