How to convince my mum it's a good idea?

[NuKe]

Hi ladies, I feel a bit weird even asking this as I'm not pregnant yet, but I am desperate for a home birth next time round. I had a great birthing experience in hospital with Poppy, it was wonderful. But afterwards it was horrible, after I had my bed bath I had to try and manouvre myself onto a clean bed (extremely painful an hour after giving birth), then I was put in a bed on the ward right next to the window, the next day the sun was beating in on me and those wards are hot enuf already, I was sweating like MAD, and they wouldnt let me pull the curtain as they wanted light in for the other women. and i didnt feel comfortable, that whole first night i couldnt relax, kept thinking about my oh stuck at home. anyway (sorry for the ramble there), i was talking to my mum and telling her i wanted a home birth soooo badly and she completely shut me down, saying about how hospital was best etc etc etc. im not stupid, if anything goes wrong i will be STRAIGHT into hospital, but id at least like to try? and my mum was born at home! anyone else encountered a wall like this? any advice on how to bring her round to the idea??

 

[BlackBerry25]

I think education is key.

I am sure some of the ladies can provide you with a lot of information about the pros and even the cons, so she can actually discuss it with you.

 

[NuKe]

thanks blackberry, i can always count on you to keep my threads from dying!

 

[NaturalMomma]

Have her watch The Business of Being Born or Pregnant In America with you. It shows really good information as well as showing real births. In the end it won't matter what your mom thinks, it's your birth.

I had my first in the hospital, my mom was with me as well as my DH. I had my second at home and I knew my mom was on the fence about it. She didn't say anything bad about it, but she did tell me she was worried about that. I also have a sibling who is a Doctor and she wasn't on board with the idea of a homebirth and I knew they both talked about it. But my mom was present for it and now she's a homebirth advocate She saw me give birth in my living room without pain, fear, worry or complications. It was a really beautiful birth.

 

[chuck]

Take a look at some websites like https://www.homebirth.org.uk/ there's tons of useful info.

Also see if you can catch homebirth diaries on Home and Health at some point or find it online there are some lovely homebirths there and they highlight the positives when there happens to be a hospital transfer.

https://www.mybirth.tv/ has loads of great reference and videos and there are some lovely homebirth ones there.

Make sure she see's the info that says homebirths are safer!

 

[NuKe]

thanks girls!! i think ive seen ALL the homebirth diaries on h&h chuck

 

[earthquake]

Hey my family were like this at first and still are a bit wary.they wouldn't trust anything they didn't see as official so I scoured the internet and sent them loads of studies printed in the British medical journal etc. Also a summary of something called the winterton report which even though a bit dated was government led and therefore factual enough for them. I also showed them the royal college of obstetricians and rcom official view on homebirth.and the homebirth website already mentioned has a great page for all the 'what ifs' . My family still isn't one hundred percent onboard but they've accepted it my choice and that its an educated one not just me being awkward. Hope that helps.

 

[Mervs Mum]

You can try to point her at good resources to show that home is a perfectly safe place to give birth in most cases but you know, ultimately you dont need to convince any one besides yourself. I know it's always much nicer to have people support willingly you but sometimes they just cant see why you make a choice you do - this is the case in all aspects of life. So if you find her unreceptive then leave it. Once you are pregnant you can gently revisit it and then tell her kindly that this is about YOU and your baby and this is the choice you are making. You'd really love her support but on this one, if she cant support you then you'll be sad but it wont change the way you feel.

x

 

[Jenniflower]

I found that the more comfortable I am with it the more my mom and sister are. They love to ask me question after question after question. And because I'm so confident in my decision when I answer them they fully listen.

 

[SmokyJoe78]

I'm thinking about hbac this time and I'm actually thinking about not telling my Mum cos I know what the reaction will be

If I can have a home birth then she'll know after it and if I end up in hospital then she'll be none the wiser!

 

[Amy_K]

My MIL was totally opposed to the idea of a home birth, she totally 'shut down' and closed her mind to the idea of it. She would tell my husband how selfish I was being and how dangerous it was etc etc. She never really came round and was delighted when I had to go into hospital to be induced. At the end of the day it is YOUR labour, and you must do what you think is best for you and your baby. If you are stressing about people's reactions it is no good for your baby. Calmly say that you have considered all the options and you hope she can respect your decision and be a source of support.

 

[kiwimama]

I think the best way to get people that are dubious about homebirths to come around is to show them some good, reputable information about the pros and cons of homebirthing. Men in particular seem to really like seeing written information placed in front of them to look over. Maybe for you mum, you could show her some of the beautiful homebirth stories out there and how wonderful the family feels etc.

 

[NuKe]

my mums a very logical person, has a very black and white mind (dont know hwo else to describe it!), shes a maths teacher. i think having stuff written down to show her would help, it did when we decided to BLW!

 

[chuck]

Aha I'm sure we can find some statistics to show her it's safer...she'll like that then lol1