How to deal with endless repeat requests?

[AngelUK]

My boys have a way of asking for the same thing one hundred thousand times and with every breath they take until they get it, especially if it is something I agreed to the very first time. (If I deny the request they ask again and again too and cry but it only lasts 5 minutes usually) For example, this morning, Sebastian has a fever, so when he asked to watch his bumblebee on tv, I said yes we will watch bumblebee when we are done with breakfast.
From then on, throughout breakfast, every 10 seconds he kept saying "I want my bumblebee" in a whiney teary voice. Ok so he is ill and naturally I want to cut him some slack etc but they both do this even when well and it drives me bonkers.
On the whole I try to parent according to RIE principles but wow this is hard. How do you react? I try to be patient and calm of course and I usually just repeat along the lines of "Yes I heard you, we will have bumblebee after breakfast." But it doesn't seem to make a difference, he still asks again and again. Any suggestions on how I could improve my response to get through to him? And how to not get annoyed at the repeated requests

 

[biglebowski]

I have no idea but my lo is the same. It drives me bonkers too!! I try to stay calm but it can be tough. The hardest thing at the moment is he's asking for "mummy cuddles" a lot. No problem, but when Im driving and he's repeatedly asking for it, or I'm cooking at the hot stove....argh!! Explaining I can't etc doesn't work. He wants what he wants NOW!! I try distraction which works maybe 10% of the time. He's so fixated it can be hard to move him on. I'll be watching this thread with interest.

 

[biglebowski]

Oh and sorry to hear Sebastians not well. Hope he has a swift recovery.

 

[twobecome3]

oh my god my girl has just started this, when she's in a mood, to demand everything at once that we have to do it goes something like this " PLAYDOUGH! PLAYDOUGH! COLORS! COLORS! POOL! POOL! BOOKS! BOOKS! BATH! BATH! PARK! PARK! BUBBLES! BUBBLES! CRAFTS! CRAFTS! then back around to PLAYDOUGH!"

just desperately whiney screams everything until something gets a hit, lol

no advice really, i just pick something out from what's been shouted that's acceptable to me at the time to do.


... at least she's giving me choices, letting me feel a bit of control

 

[jd83]

If mine start doing that, I usually ask them if I have already said yes to it, and they will say yes. Then I say, ok, so I said yes. But if you keep repeatedly asking me over and over when you already have an answer, my answer is going to become no. This works most of the time to end the repeat questions, because they don't want me to change my mind, lol. I follow through too. IF they keep asking me over and over, I change my answer. May be a bit mean, but they do know I mean business now about repeatedly asking me annoying questions.

 

[hattiehippo]

If mine start doing that, I usually ask them if I have already said yes to it, and they will say yes. Then I say, ok, so I said yes. But if you keep repeatedly asking me over and over when you already have an answer, my answer is going to become no. This works most of the time to end the repeat questions, because they don't want me to change my mind, lol. I follow through too. IF they keep asking me over and over, I change my answer. May be a bit mean, but they do know I mean business now about repeatedly asking me annoying questions.

I do this too though Tom is older but I think I started it with him from 2.5 to 3.

He knows now that if he repeatedly asks me when I've said he has to wait or if he keeps going on and on about doing something then it doesn't happen or the toy he wants to play with goes away. I know it sounds harsh but there is no reason for a child to keep asking and asking once you have said yes other than they can keep doing it. It will take them a while to learn that they can't always have the yes thing straight away but that's just reality.

 

[seoj]

I wish I had a better input- I do like ^^ above- I used to do this with my oldest (when she'd argue- cause she went through a big phase where she contradicted anything you said- so after bringing down the hammer a few times, she got it! But she was also much older- so that helped).

With LO I do like you- I repeat her request... OR, like you, if she asks for something and we have to wait I simply say "we can watch peppa pig, we just need to eat first, then you can watch" and for her- that typically works. If she get's upset- I acknowledge her feelings about it- like "I know your upset, but you need to be patient and we'll watch it soon"... but it seems you do similar, so I'm not sure I have any real advise! Just keep trying things till you find what works for your kids!!! Best of luck!