How to deal with stress in the first trimester?

[Ms_Friendly]

So long story short - Hubby and I just moved to another town for job opportunities for him and I start school in January and am trying to also find work now.

I had it confirmed at a clinic that I am pregnant. They think im around 5-5 1/2 weeks along. But I am living with my parents and we are going crazy! We should be out of here VERY soon and I can't wait but in the mean time my mom is driving me insane. I'm a married 25 year old woman and she tells me what I can and can't eat due to baby. (She says I can't have ANY caffeine whatsoever for example) also tells me she wants to be in Delivery room and assumes she will be and to hear the heartbeat. This being our first I do NOT want anyone in there but my Hubs and he feels the same.

This is the day we become a family and it's a moment you will NEVER get back, I think I can dictate how I want it to go especially after suffering a horrible miscarriage in February.

We hear the heartbeat on the 4th. But besides that she has to control EVERYTHING. My dad is so laid back, don't know how he deals LOL

I try to clean she tells me no to relax and so when I don't do it like she said she gets mad and says shes sick and I should try to help more. Maybe it's my hormones but I can't take it.

How do I get through this first trimester or until I move out at least with minimal stress? I can't take any meds for my anxiety so that's out.

Thanks in advance. Hopefully someone's been in my shoes?

 

[Juliet11]

my mom is full opinions too!
just stick to what you know is best for you. she will have to deal.

try to find a healthy outlet.. for example, when your mom starts to stress you out, can you got for a walk and get some fresh air and some space? or call a pal to talk/vent to? or calming activity, maybe pregnancy yoga or watch a favorite movie and have a tasty treat. i bet being under the same room is hard. oh and remember it's temporary, when you guys get your own place i am sure it will get so much better. hang in there!

 

[Agcam]

I'm sorry you're in a stressful situation.

I don't know what it is about pregnancy, but everybody suddenly has opinions on what you should and shouldn't do. It gets worse after baby arrives, because then everybody else seems to know what's best for your LO. I learnt to laugh at it. The only other option was to snap at everyone

I had issues with my family when I was pregnant with DS1. They wanted to know when I went into labour, and then expected periodic updates throughout. My sister wanted to be there (if not in the room, then certainly at the hospital to see/hold the baby right after). Both sides of the family also wanted to come and stay immediately after he was born. I saw it as our time - we were becoming a family, and I wanted us alone to settle into it. We had to draw a very firm line - anyone would be welcome to visit after at least 2 weeks had passed.

One other thing that I ended up doing with my family was making a joke about how hormonal pregnant women didn't like to be told what to do. I think they got the point after I said that a couple of times.

You said it yourself.... you're an adult. You know what you can and cannot do. Frankly, I'd try to ignore what your mother says. I know it's easier said than done when you're staying with them. I also like Juliet's suggestion to go for a walk, or find something that relaxes you.

One other option would be to simply have a frank talk to your mother, but you'll be the best judge of whether or not that would make your current situation untenable.

I hope time flies until you move into your own place. Good luck!

 

[Ms_Friendly]

Thanks so much for your advice, ladies! Both of you had great suggestions and it definitely makes me feel better to hear your story as well. Glad to know I'm not the only one getting stressed over parents during pregnancy! LOL

I'm definitely going to try both of you guys' suggestions and see how it works! I've been so tired lately, so it makes everything harder lol.

 

[Agcam]

No problem at all. Let us know how you get on!