How to explain this to parents

[kayla93]

Hey ladies,
I am 21 with a 14 month old daughter. A few weeks ago, I went into the doctor because I was having severe cramping for 2 months straight. Long story short, we spent and hour and a half in the doctors office, and they ended up giving me a Lupron shot to determine if I have endometriosis or not. The shot worked, which means I do have it. The doctor basically told me that if my boyfriend and I want to have more kids, we need to start, and very soon, since endometriosis can cause infertility and they have no way of knowing how bad it is without surgery which could make it worse. currently we are living with my parents but are working as hard as possible to move out. How do we explain to my parents that we NEED to have another child now or risk not being able to have any more children?
Thanks in advance ladies!

 

[Desi's_lost]

Thats a tricky situation…Do you think they'd be incredibly upset with you if you had another?

 

[kayla93]

My best guess is yes. The whole time I was pregnant with my daughter, they kept telling me how this was ruining what I wanted in life and basically that I was stupid for getting pregnant while still in college. I feel like if we tell them we need to have another one or risk not being able to have more kids, they will say well don't have any more then.

 

[slg76]

Before you make any big decisions I would get a second opinion. Good luck!

 

[kayla93]

we are going to a different doctor on the 23rd of this month to see what she thinks too. But the first doctor said if this shot worked that its endometriosis and there is a risk to fertility.

 

[slg76]

I'm glad you are getting a second opinion. Your Doctor may be very right but it's always best to check with at least two people. I hope that if it is endometriosis it is slow to progress and you will have many more years to build your family

 

[MummyMana]

I think you should tell them the same as how you told us

 

[sbl]

Get a second opinion before you go ahead.
I was told I would need to have my children early but by early they meant before 30/35.
If you do have to have another quickly then explain it to your mum and dad. Or perhaps take your mum to a Dr's appointment with you so she can hear it as it is.
Best of luck

 

[ja14]

I haven't been in the situation of telling my parents about pregnancy, because I am not a mother yet, but I saw your post and wanted to leave my thoughts.
If this were to happen to me, I would probably start telling my mother about the doctor visit and feel out her reactions before I started to give more details.

 

[skyesmom]

i agree with ja14, try telling her of the doctor's visit first and then take it from there. actually, seen from this perspective, the arrival of your daughter is even more of a blessing.

i don't know if you knew of your endo before getting pregnant the first time, but whatever your parents say about how stupid it was to get pregnant during college, if your doctor is right then well... maybe you didn't choose to get pregnant then BUT... the "later in life" option for you is actually NOT available. so having your daughter now is already a miracle.

also - my personal opinion but maybe avoid telling it to your parents - in the world of today, unless you're aiming for a highly specialized profession - college education is by no means a warranty that you will earn more or have a safer future. vocation-type jobs and staying at the same company or within the same profession for 30 years until you retire is a thing of past, that belongs to the generation of your parents and grandparents.
the work market is very very very flexible and variable today. having or wanting to change careers, workplace, country, etc. is an every day thing now. having no security, being exploited, working way more hours than your folks ever did without getting paid properly, less working rights, etc, is present nowadays at ALL levels of education. the word "overqualified" was a rarity before, now it's a normal thing.

i am sure your folks mean well and they want all the best for you, and when you talk to them, try explaining them that your priorities are dictated by your health situation and that they may not match theirs. i don't know how far are you guys from moving out, but maybe try to estimate that, like in 6-12 months you'll be out of there - and ask your doctor if that's a reasonable time you could allow yourself before trying for another?

 

[hopeandpray]

Definitely get a second opinion.

 

[MissMummy2Be]

I would first get a second opinion and then if its the same i would sit them down and just be like we(you and your partner) wish to have more then one child in you'r family and that due to your medical condition the best time for you to expand your family is now because other wise you may never get to.

 

[Rhea Santiago]

I agree with the opinion of many. When I skipped my 2 months period, I thought I was then pregnant again. I made 3 times pregnancy test to check if I'm really pregnant but it turns out to be negative. I wen to check on my OB, she said I have a very healthy uterus and it became larger than before but I'm not pregnant at all. I went for a second opinion and went out to have the same statement. I guess, its really a need for a second opinion since there is nothing wrong to be sure enough of everything. Also, tell your mother about the doctor's visit since she can give you further support and words of wisdom about the issue.

 

[Tropiclands]

Well if continuing your family is more important than what your parents think, it sounds like you may need to part ways.

 

[Milina]

Maybe youshould just say it as it is. This Situation is a challenge and you and your boyfriend have to make a choice which - in the end - your parents have to accept.

 

[Stormynights]

This is from 2014. I wonder if she ended up having a second?