How to go about this - routine & sleep

[Em_S]

Hi there, I have posted a thread recently about my 14 week old being a nightmare when it comes to sleep as she will only sleep on my chest day & night. I would like to get her into a routine to see if this helps but I don't know how to make it work?

I come up to bed with her and my partner around 7 give her a bath and tried and aim for her to be asleep by 8 give or take. However she wakes up after 30/ 40 minutes (she is the same in the day) and we cannot get her back off into a sleep that lasts longer than 30 minutes until about midnight!! Which is on one of us of course

Also she wakes up every hour-2 hours and seems to have started doing this in the last 6 weeks. Any advice on how to change this and get her into a pattern of going down for the night around 8?

Thanks

 

[k4th]

Around about 8-12 weeks babies start following the sleep patterns dictated by their hormones - rather than by us. So serotonin calms them ready for sleep & cortisol wakes them up.

If a baby gets overtired, they can keep making cortisol. Which in turn means they can't drop off to sleep properly because their hormones are telling them to wake up.

(I know - this sounds so geeky! I find the science of sleep fascinating!!!).

It sounds like your baby *could* be overtired & need more daytime sleep, in order to get more settled nighttime sleep.

I love a routine - it really helps me with my day - especially with an older one & a school run to contend with. If you want to get one started, I would maybe go to the library & get a couple of books so you can decide which approach you like, or google a few well known names. Tracey hogg's baby whisperer is a good place to start. She does an EASY approach (eat, activity, sleep & "you" time - although I've never managed much me time lol!).

Not everyone finds a routine useful (or practical depending on your life) but we stick to one & I know my baby is better for it. He's never grumpy, always smiling & he sleeps well.

 

[MindUtopia]

What about co-sleeping during the night? My daughter always slept in a wrap for naps (which I think is easier anyway, as it meant I wasn't stuck at home for nap time), but until she was about 6 weeks old, she'd also only sleep on our chests. We literally did it all night in shifts with one of us staying awake with her and the other sleeping and then I'd wake for feeds and then we'd switch. Eventually, she was happy to be put down next to me after falling asleep. We always planned to co-sleep anyway, but given that she wouldn't sleep on her own easily, it definitely meant we got a lot more sleep. I would have been exhausted if I'd had to sleep separately from her. She would still wake every 1.5-4 hours for a feed, but it meant we could sleep in between.

Also, are you feeding her throughout the night? I know some people try to cut out the night feeds at a point because they think it encourages STTN, but I would feed her as much as you can during the night when she wakes and it tends to mean she'll start going for longer stretches if she has a fully tummy. I wouldn't really expect her to STTN anytime soon. Some kids magically do, but my daughter is nearly 3 and still wakes 1-2 times a night, as do all my friends' 3 year olds, so night waking is normal. But if you can feed her up and find ways to keep her close so she is more likely to sleep longer stretches, it will make things easier.

But really, co-sleeping would be my suggestion. We couldn't have survived without it, but it also has some wonderful benefits and I have a toddler now who I think is a pretty good sleeper but who has also really benefited from it developmentally and socially, so it's great all around. It's also much safer than trying to stay awake to hold your baby all night.

 

[Em_S]

Hi thanks for your suggestion, for the first month of so she would sleep in our bed next to me and my partner but now won't do that and will only sleep on our chest. She just continues to wake up after 30 minutes or so. It's as if she doesn't know what to do with her hands and moves them about too much waking her up although swaddling makes no difference either an she still wakes up. I will continue to be persistent with her sleep next to me rather than on me because as u say it would be so much easier and I would get a better night sleep! I feed her at every waking too as you suggest and always have done yet her sleep stretches are not improving and she refuses a bottle

 

[Em_S]

Thanks k4th she is definitely over tired although don't know how to get her out of this
I get her to sleep an hour after she wakes but still will only sleep 30/40 mins. Currently I let her feed then play then sleep but this is clearly not working. I will look at other routines and patterns and see if this helps.

 

[k4th]

Thanks k4th she is definitely over tired although don't know how to get her out of this
I get her to sleep an hour after she wakes but still will only sleep 30/40 mins. Currently I let her feed then play then sleep but this is clearly not working. I will look at other routines and patterns and see if this helps.

Have you tried a sling? Will she sleep in the car? Or the pram?

I would try to get her to sleep somewhere else - other than just on you whilst you sit still (I assume?). But that's only if you really want her to settle somewhere else - the co-sleeping option is another great one & works for lots of families.

I think it might be difficult to establish a routine where you put her in bed alone at 8pm if she has all other sleep with you. She's used to having you there.

So I think you probably need to decide what options are best for you & your baby right now.

don't forget that any decisions you make today can be changed tomorrow. And she won't always sleep on you - it will pass