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Hubby changed his mind...

tkeith8109

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Tonight my hubby told me he really doesn't want to have another kid, possibly ever. We have 2 right now, 1 boy and 1 girl, and as he said we have the perfect family. However, I can't help but feel like there is something missing and I really really want another child. Anyone else's husband ever change his mind then decide later to have another? I'm so hurt.
 
I'm so sorry you are hurting right now. My husband never changed his mind- I was the one who changed my mind! Our circumstances are probably much different- I have two kids from a previous relationship. My husband knew going into our marriage I was dead set against more children. I told him on our first date. I told him a few weeks before we were getting married. We fought about it weeks after our wedding. He really wanted one of his own, "our own". He quieted down and left it alone, maybe bringing it up every few months. I softened after time went on. As my kids got older (they are now 10 and 8) I feel like our family isn't complete. The toddler ages were overwhelming, esp having 2 in diapers at once, etc. My advice is just be patient. I know it will be hard.

Have some dialogue as to the real deep rooted issues behind why he feels your family is complete. Discuss what you feel you are missing. Does he enjoy being a parent? Are finances secure? Is he depressed? Saying "our family is complete" seems very vague, however it is his answer right now. How old are the little ones? If they are young, toddler age, it might be overwhelming. Maybe wait a few years and revisit. It may not happen on your timeline/timeframe, or if ever. Overall, what changed my mind is waiting some years, enjoying watching my kids grow and become more independent. Now I have older kids who can "help" if a little sibling ever comes along. I would find out a little bit more- respect his reasons, understand his point of view. You may disagree, but give him time and space, talk about it in a few months. There is a good book that helped me called Creating Your Perfect Family Size. It quieted some of my anxieties I had and still have. Good luck!
 
Thank you. I definitely think it's the age right now, 5 and almost 4. We both work a lot and he sees a light at the end of the toddler tunnel. I have been through a lot medically the past 2 years so I really don't want to wait in case something else happens. I was told that I it might be harder for me to have anymore kids since I have pcos plus I just had my thyroid removed back in November. I really want to be done by time in was 30 as well, which is in 2 years. I'm trying not to push it because I don't want to force him, but at the same time I have pretty good reasons on why I want to start this year. It's just heart breaking. I feel like I was told I couldn't do so much and my disease was so hindering that now I want to be normal and finally have something I want for us.
 
My SO did the same thing. We have a two year old little girl, she turns three in October and I am so beyond ready for baby number two. He told me we could try a month ago and when it came down to the night we had set up, he backed out and said he didn't really want one right now and he would rather wait a few years from now. I definitely don't because I have ALWAYS wanted my children close in age because I was only child. I agree that we could be a bit better financially, however, anything can happen and nobody is fully ready. He's done this to me twice now and I don't want to wait three years to have him do it again. I don't know what to do and I feel your pain! :(
 
Im in the same boat hun! 1 of each, plus dog = perfect family in his eyes, and I've just been diagnoses with bipolar disorder and not ready to come of medication, AND WE only have a 2 bedroom house so chances are im. Wtt for a whileb😂
 

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