Hubby wont talk about pregnancy :'(

[christina1612]

Hi ladies

just found out in expecting our second and I'm over the moon as we were trying and were very lucky to get caught in our first month. I had a mc before i had my son over 2 years ago.
Everytime i mention the pregnancy, talk about prams etc all he says is "lets see what happens"! I feel like I'm not allowed to talk about it until 12 weeks and he's saying he doesn't want to get ahead of himself but why should we spend the next two months not talking and worrying?! There's nothing to say it will or wont happen again

 

[lynnikins]

Hes just trying to protect himself and you if there is a disapointment, but after carrying one pregnancy to term then you stand in great chance that this one will be plain sailing and hiccup free. ( not that the baby wont get hiccups because im sure they all do at some point )

My husband doesnt want to talk about it too much yet either this is baby 5 for us and we don't normally tell anyone till after 6wks and keep it a secret from most people till after 13ish weeks and annouce with the scan picture.

You will get plenty of time to talk it all through once he's a bit more confident in it, in the meantime get on over to the Feburary Hearts thread in the Groups section and talk about it all you like with all of us

 

[izzlesnizzle]

My DH is like this too. He never ever talks about the baby and if I do he just doesn't say anything back and goes as quiet as a mouse. I asked him if he was anxious at all about the first 12 weeks and the scan and he said whats the point in being anxious? Its out of our control and what will be will be. Until theres something to be worried about theres no point in worrying. Men are a lot more logical and passive about these things. Im doing the worrying for both of us while he sits and chills and watches the football.

 

[Mannaa]

My SO is the same. I miscarried in March and had a chemical last cycle so I totally understand. We're not raising our hopes up.

 

[mammag]

Mine was the exact same way. Now I can't get him to shut up about it. This morning he woke me up before he left for work to say "you're pregnant" you know, in case I forgot while I was sleeping. Lol. It's how they protect themselves. He'll come around.

 

[Kantny09]

I had a miscarriage 2 years ago and a chemical the cycle before this current pregnancy so my DH was the same way. It took him a couple weeks...until we saw the heartbeat on the ultrasound...to get even a little excited about this pregnancy and even after that he told me it was still hard for him to believe that this time it is actually happening. Now I am almost 12 weeks and had a scan a week ago and it was "baby shaped" lol so he is pretty confident and super excited. But in the beginning he didn't really want to talk about it and certainly was not going to get his hopes up.

 

[bubbamadness]

My husband is always like this until we have our first scan. He never sees it as real until then. It's really frustrating, but I think it's just the way men deal with it.
That's why I love coming on here, you get to talk and read about it as much as you like
Congratulations and wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months

 

[Mummy to be x]

We've had losses and our last one was only in March and it's only now that hubs is starting to act excited and speak more about baby. I hope your hubby comes round soon

 

[kealz]

Agree with all of the above! I think he's just protecting himself and you from greater heartache. Men just deal with things in a different way to us sometimes, that's not to say your way/his way is wrong or right it's just different coping strategies - i'm sure once you start having scans then you will both reach the same point and can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy together. x

 

[Bluebell321]

My DH won't talk about it either but for different reasons. This one wasnt exactly planned and he didnt react well. He had a small breakdown and is now on antidepressants. So I cant really talk about the pregnancy. He wont even look at the scan pictures and hasnt even told his parents yet! That's getting awkward now as they must wonder why I'm piling on the weight! Also means I cant tell my DD she's going to be a big sister as she might blurt it out to them.

 

[laurac1988]

I really do think it is different for the non pregnant side of the relationship. My partner gets a little like that, but I can't out it to the back of my mind as I'm living I to if you know what I mean?
Maybe have a chat with him. I said to my other half that no baby was ever lost because someone got too excited about them.

 

[kealz]

I really do think it is different for the non pregnant side of the relationship. My partner gets a little like that, but I can't out it to the back of my mind as I'm living I to if you know what I mean?
Maybe have a chat with him. I said to my other half that no baby was ever lost because someone got too excited about them.

What a great quote - I like that!