I’m so scared I can’t even relax :(

Discussion in 'Pregnancy After A Loss' started by xCookieDoughx, Jan 4, 2018.

  1. xCookieDoughx

    xCookieDoughx Mummy of 4

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    I got a BFP this morning at 9DPO. Part of me is really happy but a bigger part of me is absolutely terrified! I know it’s really early but I’m scared to temp any more in case I get a big dip. I’m scared to test again incase the tests get lighter. I’m scared to go to the loo incase I’m bleeding.

    But more importantly I’m scared not to do those things as I need to know what’s going on! If I test tomorrow and it’s lighter I’m going to freak out! I hate this early stage :(
     

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  2. wantingagirl

    wantingagirl Well-Known Member

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    Oh my goodness Hun, super congrats! You must be terrified you know where I am my darling xx
     
  3. loves_cookies

    loves_cookies Well-Known Member

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    Congratulations lovely! I've been thinking about you.

    I don't know what to suggest as I'm putting off testing for all the reasons you've just mentioned! My AF was due yesterday, we weren't actively trying this cycle, but we didn't prevent either.
     
  4. xCookieDoughx

    xCookieDoughx Mummy of 4

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    Bless you Hun :( sending sticky baby dust your way xx
     
  5. red_head

    red_head Well-Known Member

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    Congratulations. I feel exactly the same as you - I can’t sleep as I’m afraid when I wake up it’ll be over, don’t want to go to the loo and panicking over everything. It’s torture, but hopefully it’ll be worth it. I don’t think there is anything that will make it easier. I wish there was something proactive to do to ensure a sticky bean! Good luck x
     
  6. xCookieDoughx

    xCookieDoughx Mummy of 4

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    I think my worries might be justified :( started bleeding very lightly :(
     
  7. loves_cookies

    loves_cookies Well-Known Member

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    Sorry to read this, hoping itcs just some implantation bleeding. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you.
     
  8. red_head

    red_head Well-Known Member

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    Oh no :( I’m having some very very light brown blood in my discharge - is yours brown or red? Hopefully it’s just implantation or something normal. I’m sorry :(
     
  9. xCookieDoughx

    xCookieDoughx Mummy of 4

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    Thanks Hun, I’m clinging to the hope it’s just implantation bleeding. It’s only a very very small amount of pinky blood, and a little browny CM. I’m really hoping it’s just implantation. However I’m going to take another test tomorrow and if it’s lighter then I’ll know x
     
  10. Nuthatch

    Nuthatch Well-Known Member

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    :hugs: fingers crissed this is a sticky bean. Everytime i walk into the bathroom, i silently plead for there to be no blood. It is nerve wracking.
     
  11. xCookieDoughx

    xCookieDoughx Mummy of 4

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    It’s stopped for now, however I’m still testing tomorrow and heading to the doctors if the line isn’t any lighter. Then I’m going to spend the rest of tomorrow and the weekend sitting with my legs up. I know it won’t xhange anything that might be happening however I’m willing to try anything to keep my baby safe in there x
     
  12. xCookieDoughx

    xCookieDoughx Mummy of 4

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    So no more spotting! I took another test this morning and I think I see a little progression, although not much. However this early I’m not sure what I expected to see progression wise.
     

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  13. wantingagirl

    wantingagirl Well-Known Member

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    Oh no Hun, I had implantation on and off til 5-6 and I never believed in it til now fingers crossed Hun xx
     
  14. wantingagirl

    wantingagirl Well-Known Member

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    Definite progression Hunni
     
  15. xCookieDoughx

    xCookieDoughx Mummy of 4

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    Thanks, but I’ve just started bleeding a little red blood, so I think I’m heading down the chemical pregnancy Road :( should never have gotten my hopes up. Just gotta let this run it’s course and try again next month x
     
  16. xCookieDoughx

    xCookieDoughx Mummy of 4

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    I’m sort of in Limbo land at the moment :( tests progressing well and no more spotting as of right now, but I know it could start again at any time :(
     

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  17. loves_cookies

    loves_cookies Well-Known Member

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    I've been thinking of you, glad for now the spotting has stopped and the progression on your tests looks good.
     
  18. red_head

    red_head Well-Known Member

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    There’s just no way of knowing what’s going on - it is torture. I had some brown discharge - not a huge amount but enough to scare the crap out of me - I had a dab yesterday and she said there was no bleed on the scan and it’s likely old blood - either implantation or where my cervix was irritated (sex or internal scans can do that). I’m still terrified but I think a little spotting or bleed is okay, especially as your tests are getting darker. Also just to warn you, my frers went all I’ve rthe place - I had progression then they went light and I was in bits thinking it was over but the hospital did a blood test and it came back as tripling so it was just my pee was diluted or the dye in the test was low, so don’t put too much faith in them if you get a light one after this!
     
  19. wantingagirl

    wantingagirl Well-Known Member

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    It's so frustrating those tests look great, I honestly had spotting off and on until about 20dpo I was determined a miscarriage that I took my pregnancy ticker down. I then spotted maybe every 4 weeks off and on til 14 weeks.

    Stick baby xx
     
  20. xCookieDoughx

    xCookieDoughx Mummy of 4

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    I’ve still not got any more spotting which is great! However AF is due Tuesday and my BBT took a nose dive this morning. And the ICs aren’t progressing. I’m going to take a FRER tomorrow to give 48 hours between that and yesterday’s to get a proper idea of progress but I have a funny feeling I know where this is heading :( next cycle I’m not testing until AFTER af is due!
     

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