I admit it, I'm scared

Discussion in 'Waiting To Try' started by calm, Apr 7, 2009.

  1. calm

    calm Administrator
    Administrator Moderator

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2009
    Messages:
    11,879
    Likes Received:
    4
    I don't give it much thought now, I think wanting to have children and to be pregnant has pushed it a lot out of my mind, however, I would like to know if there is anyone out there with similar thoughts.

    As I have said, I have always had to some extent anxiety. Even when basically 99% well, there are always some certain fears in the back of my mind, childbirth is one.

    I just can't get over the fact that a baby is going to come out of somewhere so small...It sounds awful but it seems unnatural (I know, it is the most natural thing in the world), but I have always been strange about things go through areas that seem too small. I know to some extent most women are a bit scared of childbirth, but I don't know if anyone have a bit of a dread as I have. Having said that, it feels a lot less, as i said before I think it is because I want it so much.

    I told my doctor and she said with a smile: well a baby has to come out one way or the other. I liked the simpleness of her answer.

    So I love the idea of getting pregnant, having a baby etc, but I admit I have a fear of childbirth, and even a bit of a fear of being very pregnant, liked sort of trapped (strange I know :( ) You see? That is what stupid anxiety and worrying does for you, it creates problems where there isn't any, as I am not even TTC let alone pregnant. SIGH.
     
  2. Cinnamon

    Cinnamon Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2009
    Messages:
    2,028
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think we all feel that way some how. If it's not the worry about childbirth itself, it's wether you'll be a good parent, will you know what to do when the baby is crying or will it's crying drive you mad. I also have a very strong feeling about labour, I fret the pain and what will happen to me if I need stitches etc... I know your body is supposed to be prepared for that and your mind plays dirty tricks making everything a whole lot worse but it still is there, in the back of your mind. What makes me feel better is knowing I'll have the support of DH next to me and will make sure I have the profesionals I want around me. I find preparing for what I dread makes everything a lot easier.
    I've added you on MSN. xxx
     
  3. Louise N

    Louise N Guest

    It's natural to be scared. Childbirth is the most natural thing in the world but it's also a big ordeal. I'm sure most women, who have had a baby or who have not think alike - how on earth do/did we do that?

    Having a peek in to the first trimester forum from time to time i've read lots of threads from pg women with niggling thoughts, it's only natural.
     
  4. kate.m.

    kate.m. Mummy to Travis

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2008
    Messages:
    1,205
    Likes Received:
    0
    I had a strange thought the other day, i imagined the first words i would say to my baby were "How the hell did you get out of there?" Made me chuckle!
     
  5. jackiea85

    jackiea85 Mum of 2 boys

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2008
    Messages:
    2,390
    Likes Received:
    0
    Childbirth is a scary thing but once it's over with you have your baby and the whole thing is over with. I didn't have the greatest time but I honestly can't wait to have another baby! If it was that bad no one would do it after their first one. And yes stitches aren't the nicest thing in the world but your baby will definitely be worth it :hugs: xx
     
  6. Blob

    Blob Sarah :)

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2008
    Messages:
    14,379
    Likes Received:
    0
    I wasnt scared of birth at all before i had her :lol: but although it is painful like jackiea85 says once its over you have your beautiful little baby in your arms and you realise this is the only reason to ever exist its the most amazing feeling in the world :cloud9: Also there are enough of us doing it again on here :lol:
     
  7. BritAcrossSea

    BritAcrossSea Yellow Bump Turned Pink

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2009
    Messages:
    1,413
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm right there with you on the child birth matter (my hands are getting clammy just thinking about it). I personally can't watch any of those programmes on child birth for the simple reason it makes me wanna cross my legs and never let my DH have access again [-X! So I'm gonna worry about that when (fingers crossed) I'm pregnant. For me, sometimes the less I know the better (ignornace can be bliss at times).
     
  8. sam#3

    sam#3 Lactivist & Intactivist

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2008
    Messages:
    5,037
    Likes Received:
    0
    It is scary and of course it is painful but its sooooo worth it.
    I never believed it when people said that you hold your baby and forget all about the pain but its so true.
    Your body is great at helping you out with labour and getting you through it. Although it is sooo painful its such a rewarding pain as you know you're going through it to meet your baby :cloud9:
     
  9. calm

    calm Administrator
    Administrator Moderator

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2009
    Messages:
    11,879
    Likes Received:
    4
    You did mention the word painful or pain 4 times... ouchhhhhhh
     
  10. Tilly

    Tilly Guest

    :rofl: Thats better than her lying to you lol. My mum always used to say, "it's not that bad", "it's ok".. turns out she was lying to keep me calm but I felt happier when people told me the truth.
    Childbirth isn't meant to be easy, just like caring for a newborn 24/7 isn't. Then they turn into a toddler and start telling you off etc and I imagine it just gets harder from there - giving birth was the easy part!\\:D/

    I was terrified of giving birth the first time, I convinced myself one of us was going to die or something was going to go really wrong, but it didn't! Im on my second pregnancy and I am scared about giving birth again, but the baby has to come out some how and it's so true about the pain going away as soon as you have your baby. The pain is also different to any other pain i've experienced as you know you're getting your baby at the end of it. Plus, remember that small hole is very good at stretching.. your body is made to accomodate a baby/allow you to give birth.

    Try not to worry:hugs:
     
  11. lozzy21

    lozzy21 Mummy to Niamh

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2009
    Messages:
    25,466
    Likes Received:
    0
    Im not so much scared of giving birth my problem is iv got such an idea of how i want to give birth im scared it will go the other way and il have to have lodas of intervention and have to go into hospital. Lmao check me and im not even pregnant yet.
     
  12. calm

    calm Administrator
    Administrator Moderator

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2009
    Messages:
    11,879
    Likes Received:
    4
    The same as me, and many of us, we look a lot into the future, especially when it comes to everything to do with this subject which is so important to use. In Spain it is not really an option no to go into hospital, in Madrid we have "La Paz", it is supposed to be one of the best children hospitals in Europe, and its the place to go if they think you could have any sort of complication at birth. I must admit the idea of them putting me to sleep and just taking him/her out seems quite inviting as I am so scared shitless of childbirth. I don't think it is so much the pain, its just the whole thing of it. But, many have done it before me, I suppose I will be no different.
     
  13. lozzy21

    lozzy21 Mummy to Niamh

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2009
    Messages:
    25,466
    Likes Received:
    0

    Im set on having a water birth at home with only gas and air and minimal help from medical staff, i hate hospitals, hate the idea of some one sticking a needle in my back and their is no chance in hell of anyone playing with my insides while im awake noooooooooo way. I also belive that women have been having babys for thousands of years yet have only only been going into hospital for the last 50ish years and is a natural process and has been over medicalised in the past few years. Obviously if there were any problems id be in that hospital in a shot but apart from that im not going to where near a hospital.
     
  14. Cinnamon

    Cinnamon Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2009
    Messages:
    2,028
    Likes Received:
    0
    I would love to have a water birth, it's the option I like most, but as Calm said, it isn't really an option in Spain, everyone goes to the hospital. What really annoys me is that doctors do their own thing around you and tell you what to do when they think it's best. I'm against this as I think if our body is prepared to give birth, why are they in charge? You should be able to walk around if you like and for goodness sakes, have the baby acording to gravity and not with your legs and pelvis up in the air so they can see better, even if it's totaly unnatural... I will try to be in charge of as much as I can because I truly believe that I will know what I have to do because my body will tell me... I'll sign papers to say that they will help me and not the other way around, unless there is any problem, then I'll give in. What do you guys think?
     
  15. lozzy21

    lozzy21 Mummy to Niamh

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2009
    Messages:
    25,466
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think you should do what ever you want, its your baby and your body and they cant make u do anything. Do they have indipendant midwifes in spain?
    Over here they prefer you to go into hospital but cant refuse a home birth unless their is a medical reason why you cant.
    I watch a show called portland babys which is about one of the top private womens hospitals in england and there has been a fair few women coming to england when they are 20 something weeks pergnant and having their babys in england as they dont like the system in their own countrys and then go home when the baby is a few weeks old.
     
  16. bunnyg82

    bunnyg82 Mum to 2 gorgeous boys

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2009
    Messages:
    8,048
    Likes Received:
    0
    This is also how I feel about it! I so want a perfect birth but realise it is so common that this doesn't happen! But, in reality, it's actually only one day (ish) of going through the pain, etc to get the result of holding your child.

    It's a means to an end and just the thought of having a child outweighs any scariness!
     
  17. Cinnamon

    Cinnamon Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2009
    Messages:
    2,028
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think I have to check out the posibilities in Spain...
     
  18. calm

    calm Administrator
    Administrator Moderator

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2009
    Messages:
    11,879
    Likes Received:
    4
    Yesterday I saw a place where they advertised all sorts of natural ways to pregnancy. I didn't really look at it properly. I must admit I will be the sort of person doing what the doctor tells me. I am the sort of person that will need guidance at that moment and the security of a hospital. My husband is a very "the doctor knows more than you" person. I think if I had some sort of natural birth and something went wrong he would never forgive me.Perhaps when pregnant I will feel different. What is certain that before women did not have hospitals to go to when they were pregnant and that was not a problem. I suppose what is important is that if you seek an alternative make sure they know what they are doing, especially in Spain where these sort of options are not so typical (make sure they are not money grabbing cowboys)
     
  19. Cinnamon

    Cinnamon Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2009
    Messages:
    2,028
    Likes Received:
    0
    I told my DH yesterday about the water birth and he looked at me like I was a little green alien. Then I said I didn't find it logical to have to lay down with my feet pointing the sky and that coming from one warm fluid to another sounds quite apealing if I were to be born now... That's what I'd like for my baby. He then said, but then you have to pay for the pool, the staff and the doctor to help... But OK., we can save up for that and then decide when the time comes... On the other hand, I don't know if I'll be happy using my baby money for something that could be free... Here I am thinking about the future again... Also if the pregnancy is difficult they recommend cesarian and there there's nothing I can say about it...
     
  20. m&c77

    m&c77 Member

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2009
    Messages:
    18
    Likes Received:
    0
    Your doctor may have more medical knowledge, but no one knows your case better than you. It is ok to challenge a doctor and to read more than your brain can handle on a subject. Since my DH and I have a ton of friends who are MDs, we know and understand that they are only human and can easily make a mistake. You are your own biggest advocate.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice