I can understand team yellow before birth, but after???

[overcomer79]

I am not sure about how I feel about this. How can telling a child or others "it's a boy" or "it's a girl" AFTER the baby is born be harmful as she said in the article. Thoughts?

https://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepa...heir-gender-neutral-kid-after-five-years.html

 

[jennievictora]

this is the only thing that comes to mind >

 

[Cee108]

this is the only thing that comes to mind >

Exactly!

 

[emma33]

that poor child, what were the parents thinking... some people try to be so far out there etc,,, they will end up damaging there child!! bullying and what not ahead for the child... its so sad

 

[AC1987]

I don't wanna cause any negative feelings my way but... what!? thats crazy! I'm sorry but I just think its nuts when parents do this to their kids, like I was kinda tom boyish growing up but i KNEW I was a girl.

 

[feeble]

It reeks very strongly to me of using your kid as some sort of social experiment.

 

[majm1241]

smh

 

[overcomer79]

glad I'm not the only one. My son plays with dolls at daycare and kitchens and stuff but everyone knows he is a boy!

I just don't get it!!

 

[PitaKat]

I can understand that the parents don't want to gender stereotype their child, but that is taking it WAY too far. It certainly does seem like a social experiment.

 

[Tacey]

I think he knows he's a boy. They just haven't told everyone else. Or am I reading it wrong?

 

[17thy]

Anddd why couldn't she allow him and their family to know he was a boy and still let him play with what he wanted and dress how he wanted? I am pretty sure I only saw pictures of him in girls clothes. ...

 

[AveryATL]

Anddd why couldn't she allow him and their family to know he was a boy and still let him play with what he wanted and dress how he wanted? I am pretty sure I only saw pictures of him in girls clothes. ...

I think that is part of their point - why does their need to be a difference between 'boy' clothes and 'girl' clothes? That concept is a social construct, not a biological one. Maybe he chose those clothes because he likes the way they look over some of the other ones, or maybe he likes the way they feel on him. At 5, he certainly is more than capable of dressing himself. I have a 4 y/o nephew who LOVES to dress up in dresses, fairy wings and other 'girl' items, and my SIL is more than happy to let him go wherever he wants dressed as such. To her, the bigger question is why they have to be labeled as 'girl' items instead of just "dress-up" clothes. He also wears batman costumes too. Why is it wrong for a little boy to dress up like a fairy?

I wouldn't follow this path with my child (I have too big of a mouth, for starters), but I can understand why a parent would want to do it. There is are huge cultural stereotypes that come along with being a boy or a girl - starting from infancy. Little boys are complimented on his strong or smart they are, while girls are generally complimented on how pretty/quiet/well dressed they are. Little boys are allowed to be rowdy - because they are boys - while girls are expected to be demure and polite at the same age.

She likely isn't forcing him to wear anything, but just allowing him to do what he likes. Yes, his drum may beat a little differently than others (like his parents!), but personally, I give them kudos for willing to step outside of the expectations of the cultural mainstream. Obviously, they couldn't hide his gender from HIM, just others, so that he could choose his own way....instead of having his path be paved by what is expected for his gender.

 

[17thy]

Ummm did I say it was wrong? My younger brother when he was 4-5 always wore my ballerina outfits with a plastic sword on his side and high heels. I don't give a damn.. he's perfectly normal.

 

[AveryATL]

No, but your post comes across as critical of their methods, IMO. I am not criticizing you for your opinion at all, mostly just trying to provide an alternative view point. I can understand why people would be critical - their chosen path is not in line with the mainstream.

 

[Sarachka]

Some people just really want to be 'out there' and 'different' and give themselves a big pat on the back for being so 'forward thinking'.

Me? I'm off to buy my daughter a few more dresses

 

[waitandsee]

"Sasha wears a ruched-sleeved and scalloped-collared shirt to school from the girl's uniform list, and has been banned from sporting combat trousers.
The youngster is also encouraged to wear flowery tops at weekends."

--> sounds like actively encouraging him to wear "female stereotyped clothes". Super odd. If you don't want to gender stereotype, leave the stereotypes out of the clothes aswell!!! So if my little girl actively picks pink flowery tops, why would I encourage her to wear combat pants? that just fulfills the opposite stereotype.


"All I want to do is make people think a bit."

--> there you have it. Kid = social experiment with a sample size of 1.

"And I could never persuade anyone in the group to come round for coffee. They just thought I was mental.

--> Which is the logical consequence of behaving like that.

Sorry, while i find the little boy (boy = has XY chromosomes) should wear whatever he wants, I don't understand mom's reverse stereotyping at all.

 

[Fruitmash]

"Sasha wears a ruched-sleeved and scalloped-collared shirt to school from the girl's uniform list, and has been banned from sporting combat trousers.
The youngster is also encouraged to wear flowery tops at weekends."

--> sounds like actively encouraging him to wear "female stereotyped clothes". Super odd. If you don't want to gender stereotype, leave the stereotypes out of the clothes aswell!!! So if my little girl actively picks pink flowery tops, why would I encourage her to wear combat pants? that just fulfills the opposite stereotype.


"All I want to do is make people think a bit."

--> there you have it. Kid = social experiment with a sample size of 1.

"And I could never persuade anyone in the group to come round for coffee. They just thought I was mental.

--> Which is the logical consequence of behaving like that.

Sorry, while i find the little boy (boy = has XY chromosomes) should wear whatever he wants, I don't understand mom's reverse stereotyping at all.

This. There is a difference between allowing your child to be exactly who they are, and wear what they like, and actively "encourage" that your child wears clothes that are generally used by the opposing gender. In my experience, at that age a child will be themselves. They're too young to understand "boys do this" if you don't shove it down. My little girl will know she's a girl, but if she wants to wear combat trousers, or play with Ben 10, she can.

 

[BlueberryGal]

"Sasha wears a ruched-sleeved and scalloped-collared shirt to school from the girl's uniform list, and has been banned from sporting combat trousers.
The youngster is also encouraged to wear flowery tops at weekends."

--> sounds like actively encouraging him to wear "female stereotyped clothes". Super odd. If you don't want to gender stereotype, leave the stereotypes out of the clothes aswell!!! So if my little girl actively picks pink flowery tops, why would I encourage her to wear combat pants? that just fulfills the opposite stereotype.


"All I want to do is make people think a bit."

--> there you have it. Kid = social experiment with a sample size of 1.

"And I could never persuade anyone in the group to come round for coffee. They just thought I was mental.

--> Which is the logical consequence of behaving like that.

Sorry, while i find the little boy (boy = has XY chromosomes) should wear whatever he wants, I don't understand mom's reverse stereotyping at all.

Exactly what I was thinking.

It looks to me like the mother is pushing him into being more 'girly'.
I agree that sometimes we create stereotypes...and would hate to tell my child 'that toy is for boys/girls' , but this child will grow up and be unable to identify with either boys or girls and I think there's a risk he will become marginalised and lonely.

Then again, children learn a lot from their peers, so perhaps he will naturally learn the 'stereotype' behaviour from the kids at school.

Odd though I think, and not fair to use your child as a social experiment.

Wh

 

[Tacey]

So we're trusting that The Sun are giving us a carefully balanced report of how this family functions? Would they happily show pictures of him wearing stereotypical boys' clothes? Of course they wouldn't. They are going out to shock. To make everyone say 'Look at the freaks.' I think the parents have made an error of judgement allowing tabloids to report on them, but I don't find their attidtude to raising their son so terrible. I have more of an issue with parents who keep their baby girls in fru fru dresses that they can't crawl in, and tell boys to man up if they cry.

 

[Sew_Sweet]

I read another article about this as well. The mother stated that overly masculine clothing such as skulls and cargo pants were actively DISCOURAGED. BUT he had a sparkly pink girls swimming suit which he was photo'd in because "kids like sparkly things!". Uhhh - what?

Sorry but there is nothing gender neutral about this "experiment". The mother has a problem with masculinity. She wanted a girl and got a boy and is making the poor kid suffer socially for it. I think it's sick and abusive in a way.