I cant believe he would say that!!!!

[Mrs.Impatient]

I am 25 weeks pregnant,My husband never agreed or disagreed about having another child. He paid for my mirena removal and I told him that I wanted a baby and that if he didnt he needed to go and buy condoms and he never did.

My entire pregnancy I have had to hear him wine about how he is not ready and this baby is a mistake and he wants nothing ot do with her.

This is really starting to get to me because I love her just as much as my 3 year old. He is constaltly saying that this is not his and not to give her his last name.

The whole time TTC he was buying me pregnancy tests reading the results to me ect. Now he is changing everything up like it's all my fault.

I have a big feeling that he is acting this way because he wanted a boy but we are having a girl. UGH!!!! I can't stand this!!!!
I have been soo depressed

 

[October2013]

Yikes, girl. That's really not good... I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.

 

[Breezybaby80]

Oh Hun I don't know what to say but I'm sorry he's being like this to u and hope he comes round (hugs) x

 

[mdjoy]

Sounds like gender disapointment

 

[Mrs.Impatient]

Sounds like gender disapointment

That is what I was thinking

 

[Yipee]

Sheesh, that's really not nice at all. What does he expect you to do, send her back? I'm sure he'll come around when she's born, but I'd have a hard time forgiving him for being such a jerk in the meantime.

 

[Mrs.Impatient]

Sheesh, that's really not nice at all. What does he expect you to do, send her back? I'm sure he'll come around when she's born, but I'd have a hard time forgiving him for being such a jerk in the meantime.

I am having a very hard time forgiving him. This has been going on for a while now and I am up to my neck in resentment. I don't know how our relationship will ever be even close to what it was again. He says mean things then he apologizes saying he is just worried then starts calling me names and saying mean things all over again. It is like a vicious cycle!!! I am having a hard time keeping my sanity.

 

[Mrs.Impatient]

Sheesh, that's really not nice at all. What does he expect you to do, send her back? I'm sure he'll come around when she's born, but I'd have a hard time forgiving him for being such a jerk in the meantime.

I am having a very hard time forgiving him. This has been going on for a while now and I am up to my neck in resentment. I don't know how our relationship will ever be even close to what it was again. He says mean things then he apologizes saying he is just worried then starts calling me names and saying mean things all over again. It is like a vicious cycle!!! I am having a hard time keeping my sanity.

He treats me like a property instead of a person with feelings. He is very verbally abusive and then has the audacity to text me and say some very sexual things afterwords. I feel like I am going crazy,I am so overwhelmed. then he tries to call and I ignore him so he said I am very rude!!!
Seriously?!! UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just want to scream

 

[LullabyLover]

I honestly think you need to go and speak to a marriage counsellor. If you don't sort it out you'll end up divorced or suffering in an emotionally abusive relationship. For the sake of you and your daughters, get professional help. I get upset if my husband doesn't talk to my belly enough for my hormonal liking, I can't imagine dealing with that.

 

[Mrs.Impatient]

I honestly think you need to go and speak to a marriage counsellor. If you don't sort it out you'll end up divorced or suffering in an emotionally abusive relationship. For the sake of you and your daughters, get professional help. I get upset if my husband doesn't talk to my belly enough for my hormonal liking, I can't imagine dealing with that.

I have thought about marriage counseling but have not spoke with him about it. I believe that we are headed for divorce very soon as well and that is not something that I want for myself or my children but I do not want to show them that this behavior is acceptable. I will mention counseling to him and see what he says. If he refuses I will get counseling for myself and try my best to save our marriage but I will not loose my sanity and my children to continue allowing him to break me down.

 

[babybloo]

I just wanted to say he has no business treating you in any way other than the way the mother of his children should be treated... I.e. with respect. Don't accept anything less. Like you said, your daughters shouldn't ever be witness to that kind of behavior but you also shouldn't have to ever worry they will be. I hope he comes around very soon.

 

[Nicolalove353]

I'm so sorry he is treating you that way. I think counseling for both of you but if he is not willing then at least you will go. I hope things work out for you and he finally comes around.

 

[Mrs.Mcguin]

Gender disappointment is no excuse for his behaviour. And you are definitely right...your children have no business witnessing that.

I also have no business telling you to leave the guy but I will tell you one thing...put your foot down now and don't allow any man to disrespect you or your children!

 

[Mrs.Impatient]

gender disappointment is no excuse for his behaviour. And you are definitely right...your children have no business witnessing that.

I also have no business telling you to leave the guy but i will tell you one thing...put your foot down now and don't allow any man to disrespect you or your children!

you are soooo right!!! It is time to put my foot down and stand up for myself and children. Thank you

 

[Mrs.Mcguin]

gender disappointment is no excuse for his behaviour. And you are definitely right...your children have no business witnessing that.

I also have no business telling you to leave the guy but i will tell you one thing...put your foot down now and don't allow any man to disrespect you or your children!

you are soooo right!!! It is time to put my foot down and stand up for myself and children. Thank you

I'm proud of you!

 

[adopim]

I agree with the other lovely ladies. Gender disappointment or not, that is unacceptable. I was in a relationship like that with my DD's birth father. Very verbally and emotionally abusive. I don't know if your husband has a bad temper, but be careful. I was stuck in that terrible "relationship" (which I was emotionally checked out after I found out I was pregnant, when all the bad stuff started). Eventually, I got the courage to leave him but it didn't go without affecting my DD. It took me 2 years in a healthy relationship (with my now DH) to undo the emotional damage that she had (while she was never the direct target, witnessing that was enough to affect her).
I wish you all the best and hope that everything can be worked out in the healthiest way possible

 

[Mrs.Impatient]

He has a very quick temper and bad anger problems as well. He is verbally and emotionally abusive to me. At a past time when my daughter was just born he was physical and controlling. I used to smoke cigarettes and he did not like it so one day we were arguing and I went to light a cigarette and he bent my arm behind my back almost breaking it until I gave him the cigarette and then he broke it. He has been physical twice after that the last time he factored my nose by head butting me, I called the police and he never hit me again. Now he threatens but never acts. I dealt with him for 5 years...5 years is not that long but when your 15,vulnerable,and pregnant 5 years can take a lot away from you. I feel that since I was so young when we met and I was solely dependent on him (his car,his house,his money) and then being treated this way has killed my self esteem and I have hit rock bottom. He knows that I have no place to run...no family,no friends my mother passed away last July and he separated me from all of my friends so now they all hate me and will not talk to me.I used to be this beautiful,outgoing happy girl and now I don't know who I am or what I really want anymore.

 

[exoticsiren]

What an ass! Sorry hun sending hugs

 

[adopim]

Oh hun, it breaks my heart to hear this. This was me 3 years ago.
You definitely need to do something about this. For this to continue is unfair to you and to your children. I don't want to step out of bounds, but I really think you need to look into your options.
Feel free the message me if you ever want to talk in more detail or just some extra support. Xx

 

[Amygdala]

He has a very quick temper and bad anger problems as well. He is verbally and emotionally abusive to me. At a past time when my daughter was just born he was physical and controlling. I used to smoke cigarettes and he did not like it so one day we were arguing and I went to light a cigarette and he bent my arm behind my back almost breaking it until I gave him the cigarette and then he broke it. He has been physical twice after that the last time he factored my nose by head butting me, I called the police and he never hit me again. Now he threatens but never acts. I dealt with him for 5 years...5 years is not that long but when your 15,vulnerable,and pregnant 5 years can take a lot away from you. I feel that since I was so young when we met and I was solely dependent on him (his car,his house,his money) and then being treated this way has killed my self esteem and I have hit rock bottom. He knows that I have no place to run...no family,no friends my mother passed away last July and he separated me from all of my friends so now they all hate me and will not talk to me.I used to be this beautiful,outgoing happy girl and now I don't know who I am or what I really want anymore.

Please read this post back to yourself. This is NOT how anyone should be treated or made to feel. There are so many red flags here. It might be hard to hear but you need to take your daughter(s) and get out of there. It might feel like you've got nowhere to go but there are places and people that can help. You're in Florida, right? You can contact the Florida Coalition Against Domestic Violence (www.fcadv.org), they seem to have good advice. You could also think about anyone close to you who might be able to help, siblings, cousins, childhood friends. I bet there are at least a few people you could turn to.
You deserve so much better than this. But more importantly, you have to protect your daughters. You have to make sure they grow up knowing that they deserve respect and love and that no-one has a right to treat them with anything less. Please get some help and then leave this man. You're still young, you have every chance of a happy life for you and your daughters. But you have to fight for it now. Don't let him destroy you or affect your little girls!