I can't believe I'm here - acrania diagnosed at 12+3 scan

Discussion in 'Miscarriage Support' started by Tulip, Dec 15, 2009.

  1. Tulip

    Tulip Ruby <i>, Dils, Rowan

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    Hey girls. It's one in the morning and the reality of what happened yesterday and the end of my dream has just hit me.

    Hovis' skull has not developed and s/he will not survive outside the womb. Drs have booked me in for D&C today. There are few major defects that can be picked up at 12 weeks but Deb and I have somehow managed to find two of them within a few days.

    I'll be put on a high dose of Folic Acid for 3 months to build up my reserves before trying again as it's a neural tube defect. Sounds like I don't absorb it too well (have been on prenatals for a year now). Speaking of a year, Xmas will mark 1 year since we began TTC and the reality of starting again from scatch, having taken 9 months to conceive and then getting this far with what seemed like a perfect pregnancy (no vomiting, no bleeding...) is almost too much to bear. Obviously my intuition was telling me something as I've been super paranoid throughout, and I should have listened to my subconcious.

    I hate being in hospital - was planning the most amazing home-hypno-waterbirth - and don't deal well with GA, so have warned them to pump me full of anti-nausea drugs before they bring me round.

    I can't believe this is happening to us when I was just starting to relax and enjoy my pregnancy :( Hubby is an emotional wreck - he's usually fairly accepting of death, but this is just too close and too much. But this is our first major test as a couple and we're talking through it, so it's all going to be OK.

    On the plus side, Medway have been so good squeezing us in at the top of the list this morning, so the physical healing can at least begin. We know we can get pregnant. And the risk of this happening next time is no greater.

    If you've made it this far, well done :thumbup: I think I just needed to write down what's going round and round in my head. Just feel a bit lost now. :shrug:
     
  2. Leanne&Bump..x

    Leanne&Bump..x Mam of Karl & a Pup x

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    So sorry for your loss.. best wishes for the future xx
     
  3. ~curiosity~

    ~curiosity~ Mama of 1, ttc#2

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    Oh hun I am so, so sorry. We are all here for you whenever you need to rant or talk. :hugs::hugs: thinking of you both at this awful time :hugs::hugs::cry: xxx
     
  4. Lincoln Girl

    Lincoln Girl mummy to Mayze and Mia

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    im so sorry hunny :hugs: xxx
     
  5. moggymay

    moggymay Well-Known Member

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  6. trying4#1

    trying4#1 Well-Known Member

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    i am so sorry for your loss x
     
  7. truly_blessed

    truly_blessed Loving being a new mummy

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    So sorry sweetheart, I had D&C 3 weeks ago. Basically 12 week scan showed 5 week pregnancy with just sac and yolk but nothing else. I knew there was no way I was 7 weeks out on my dates. Scan was on the Friday and they wanted me to wait for 7 days and get another scan but I went back on the Monday and, like you, they got me straight in for surgery that day. The one good thing about it was that I didn't have too much time to worry about it and before I knew it I was in and out and back at home.

    Different circumstances, I know, but still a failed pregnancy at 12 weeks. It never ever leaves you but it does get better with time. Will be thinking of you. x
     
  8. BeanieBaby

    BeanieBaby Well-Known Member

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    I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope your D&C goes well. I had my ERPC 2 wks ago (at 10 wks, after 3 wks of early scans - baby had no heartbeat at 9 wks and was a 1/3 of the size it should be so missed mc was confirmed) and it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be and the doctors and nurses were lovely and v. sympathetic. Its an emotional rollercoaster though am glad you have the support of a loving husband. Let us know how it goes. xxx
     
  9. lolly25

    lolly25 mum~DD,DS,DD and Angel x

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    Hi hun so sorry for your loss x x :hugs::hugs:
     
  10. debgreasby

    debgreasby Happy Mummy!

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    Tulip, once again i am so sorry for what you are going through. Stay strong, pm me if you ever need to chat, we can help each other.

    I'm just waiting to hear from the hospital as to when they can get me in.

    Much love to you and your OH. xxx
     
  11. Drazic<3

    Drazic<3 You got the love <3

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    I am so very sorry for your loss :hugs: Good luck in the hospital, and will be thinking of you -x-
     
  12. SmileyShazza

    SmileyShazza I'm a mum!

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    Tulip I am so very sorry to hear of your loss.

    I had an ERPC after our 12 wk scan revealed our bean had stopped growing at 6 weeks. Like you I was in disbelief as I'd had no reason to think or feel that anything was wrong during those weeks and it is devastating when you find out such bad news about the little one .

    I'm glad they have managed to get you in quite quickly for the erpc. The op itself really isn't as bad as it sounds when they describe it, I was home within a few hours and my recovery physically afterwards has been pretty straightforward. Emotionally though you can explect to be very up and down, it has been three weeks since we found out and I am still having moments where I suddenly get upset about whats happened, it's all part of the grieving process though I suppose.

    Keep talking to your OH, I don't know how I would've got through it all without my husband, he really has been my rock. The girls on here are all very supportive and understanding too so feel free to vent or get stuff off your chest - there, unfortunately are a lot of us who will understand some of the feelings you are going through at the moment.

    Look after yourself :hugs:
     
  13. smidgen

    smidgen Mummy 2 Finlay & 4 angels

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    Tulip - I am so sorry to read your post and learn of your loss. You are an amazing person- managing to give me support when you've just been through this, take care x
     

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