I cant believe what Ive just done.

[WeeMintyMonki]

Oh my god i am such an idiot I dont even know why I even said it.

Earlier today my OH and I were out and about and he happened to ask if my AF had arrived and Id said no.

He suggested we get a test and as I went to the counter with the tests he went to the booze aisle....

We go pay and on the way home we start getting snappy at each other....

I dont know why and really upset myself and my partner but I just screamed at him and told him I didnt want his baby...

It just came out and having his baby is what I want more in the whole world. He asked me why I said it and I couldnt tell him because I dont know myself.

I took the test and it was my third BFN since my AF was due and I just threw it at him and ran to the bedroom in floods of tears.

He has gone to see his son he has with his ex and Im now at home alone really really down.

I know we havent officially been trying for long but even before we were trying I got upset when my AF.always arrived. Even on BC I was like that....

I just hate myself so much right now for saying that too him.

He has been really good about it but I know I hurt him.

X x x

 

[MrsMatt]

It's only natural emotions run high, hun! I'm sure it will blow over; you just said what you knew would "get to him" at the time... I do it myself sometimes & am not proud of it.. but I am sure you'll make up soon.

I'm sorry you're feeling so down & fed up, it's a shame he's gone off so you can't clear the air straight away... that prolongs the agony for you poor thing

 

[honey08]

 

[Lara310809]

Hon Try not to worry, we all say things we don't mean in anger, and I'm sure he knows you didn't mean it. Why would you be TTC if you didn't want his baby? And why would you be so upset over a BFN if you didn't want his baby? I'm sure he knows the truth, and I'm sure he knows it was just the anger talking.

It will work out hon, don't worry

 

[Hansie]

Awww he knows you didn't mean it, we have all said things we didn't mean, give yourself a break hun

 

[seoj]

Ah hun... don't beat yourself up. What is said is done. Of course you didn't mean it- I'm sure in some way it was just a wall you put up to protect yourself against further disappointment... when he get's home, just sit him down and explain how bad you feel and that you DO want a baby with him SO much that sometimes it's makes you nutty! lol. We all have moments.

I'm sure he will understand... maybe try to not let the emotions run too wild. Obviously this is a stressful time, which doesn't help matters, so focus on what you do have... all the things that are good in your life and know that this too will happen... it just may take longer than you thought.

Best of luck sweetie!!!

 

[WeeMintyMonki]

Thank you all for your kind words.

We did make up before he left but i was still upset and just wanted him to be here.

I know it will take some time. He has issues involving his medication which he has an appointment with the doc on thursday we are both attending to see our options of him possibly comin off it to help.

I just cant believe I said it when I clearly didnt mean it.

He kept telling me he was so excited when I picked up the test.

Just want him here for hugs now.

X x x

 

[babycakes1982]

I think the stress of ttc makes us go a bit at times. My other half siad it was affecting my personality. I know he was/is right but is soo hard when you want something soo much. I'm sure everything will be fine as long as you continue to communicate with your OH and let him know how you feel.

GL and

 

[WinterSong4]

It happens from time to time. Hopefully he knows its nothing and get over it. Guys just don't know how important it is to us women! My DH said something to me the other day(don't remember what it was) but, I said to him "you really don't know what I am feeling over this whole thing".

We are the ones who carry the baby and go through all the physical and emotional changes and sacrafice ALOT to be able to create such a blessing.

It will be ok

 

[loolindley]

Aw hun, this ttc business makes us all go a bit bonkers sometimes. We all say things we don't mean, and as long as you sincerely apologised then he will know you mean it. FX'd for you hun. x