Landingmach3
Proud Mama
- Joined
- Jun 15, 2008
- Messages
- 143
- Reaction score
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So..here's the deal. I was with my b/f a very short time when I got pregnant. I told him about it....and we stayed together for 5 more months. At that point he admitted he couldn't stay with me and I needed to just go home ( I was living abroad at the time for school). So I came home and had my baby girl in the U.S. He was supposed to come in for the birth- but didn't "due to work". We flew to see him in March. He was very happy to see our daughter, he cried when we left Ireland. He's due back here to visit in June, and has already booked his flight. But it's like he doesn't care at the same time...he's had 2 girlfriends since I left...and he has told me many times that we will never be together. He recently told me the only reason we stayed together for those 5 additional months was because he felt guilty that he got me pregnant. I think about it everyday...about how my daughter will never have her father around to stay...and I wonder should I move overseas again and get a flat so she can see him every weekend? I know it would be hard for me to see him that often, since it still hurts finding out why we were together after I got pregnant, but I want to do what's best for her. I just can't stop thinking about her growing up without her dad. I can't keep thinking about him and my daughter not having him around. I have read LOADS of research that shows a child growing up without a father is more likely to become pregnant as a teen, have tons of issues with self confidence, etc. all terrible things like that. I'm just losing hope lately...I love my LO so much and I want to do what's best for her. I also talked to my doctor, telling him I might have PPD and he said no way, I seem way to happy to be depressed. But if that's the case, why do I cry everyday and only think about the past? I'm just so lost right now....
