I despair, I feel like tearing my face off in RAGE!

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - First Trimester' started by Katieeeee, Apr 18, 2009.

  1. Katieeeee

    Katieeeee Guest

    I need calming down :(

    The baby's father- what can I say- he's a complete TWAT. :hissy:

    Since we found out I was pregnant, we split up. He now has a new girlfriend. Ok fair enough, but he refuses to tell her that I'm pregnant! Erm, that's disgustingly wrong right? Or am I overreacting?

    Anyway. After 6 weeks of not getting on with each other and him proving numerous times what a nasty evil w**nker he is and how unreliable and uncaring he is, (he even told me over the phone that his friends and social life come before anything, even his own children), we got on for about a week. Everything was absolutely fine and I've been feeling really good about myself. Then today, my best friend suddenly decides to interfere and tell me that when the baby is born, I shouldn't expect him to help me out or be there for me because he is likely to ditch me and leave me when I need him the most. And that I should basically cut him out of my life completely.

    I'm really really angry at her, because it took us AGES to get to this happy place where we're both getting along and now we're fighting again.

    And I'm really angry at him because all he's saying is "nah I like us getting along. it's cool. bye!" and won't actually do anything to calm me down or reassure me he's going to be there for me.

    I can't trust anyone anymore, I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. No matter what I try, it's not good enough for anyone yet no one is respecting MY feelings and I'm the one whjho's pregnant! :cry:
     
  2. third time

    third time Well-Known Member

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    I know it must be hard, but your friend is probably trying to look after you. She probably see's things differently from you hun. I think of you're getting on better than that's the main thing and hopefully your friend will be wrong.

    Good Luck xx
     
  3. ahava

    ahava me & hubby

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    Oh katieeeeee im so sad at your story..you poor lady....I have to tell you its not just him, plenty of men panic at the thought of fatherhood, and make a quick exit ....

    However I think you are well rid of him, and you are a strong enough lady to cope with motherhood all by yourself. I dont know what to say, but i wanted to support you :hug:
     
  4. Katieeeee

    Katieeeee Guest

    Thankyou ladies.

    I kind of feel like my best friend is trying to spoil things for me because last year she had a termination and she's never forgiven herself bless her, and she admitted that she's finding it hard because she's basically seeing the opposite of what she would have gone through if she hadn't have had the abortion.

    As for him, he's just a nasty persom, only time will tell I suppose. I've switched my phone off for the night and I'm putting my feet up and relaxing!

    Hope everyone is ok x
     
  5. booflebump

    booflebump Mummy to Toby

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    I wouldnt be too hard on your mate - from the sounds of him (whether the two of you are managing to get on or not) the simple fact he wont acknowledge that you are pregnant to his girlfriend, and his social life is his priority means that you probably cant rely on him. Forge a path for yourself for you and your baby to be happy xxx
     
  6. Katieeeee

    Katieeeee Guest

    Thanks Boofle bump, I don't think anyone could have put things any better for me, I totally know what I need to donow. Thanks so much xxxx:hug:
     
  7. booflebump

    booflebump Mummy to Toby

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    Any time hun xxx
     
  8. Zeri

    Zeri Well-Known Member

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    I'm sorry you're going through this... It probably hurt to hear your friend say what she said - but she's probably just calling it as she's sees it, and doesn't want you to be hurt by hoping for the support your boyfriend doesn't seem willing to give at this point. It seems as though you also realize he's being immature and irresponsible - so your friend probably sees the same thing too. Although I know it hurts to hear it. I think you should be angry at him, not her - he really sounds pretty immature and unwilling to face up to his responsibilities. Even though y'all are getting along - he hasn't given any real indication that he'll be responsible in the way you need him to be, in the future. :( I would be concerned about that.
     
  9. ninamama

    ninamama Well-Known Member

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    hiya..Im really sorry to hear your story but it seems your friends got your back..Sometimes its difficult to hear but rather than be angry with her, she may turn out to be the one there for you when your baby is born and he will dissapear with the sun. I know sometimes people say things in anger but you know him best..do you really think it will all change later on? Me and my partner had an argument yesterday..I had a mc last month and he refuses to accept I am pregnant again untill we go to the doctor in 2 weeks time to get the scan .. eventhough my test was positive.. he is making out like I want it so much, I made the test positive!? I spoke with my family about it and its also one in a long list of things that makes me wonder wether he really wants me to be pregnant..very confusing.. I have decided that I need to wait and see with him how things go, this is not the first argument we have had about the baby and Im thinking Id rather do it alone than be with someone who doesnt fully want it himself..I am worried hes gonna start telling me I used the baby to trap him or something! Im only 6wks gone so have a lot of time to decide what I want to do but I know one thing..Im strong enough to do it alone..I came from parents that argued alot when I was small and dont want the same for my own child. You know whats best for you but dont push away people who love you for real. Those are the ones that will always be there for you..Thinking of you and sending you all my love
     
  10. Jemz3741

    Jemz3741 2 girls and a boy <3

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    I personally think your friend wouldnt purposely want to hurt you, sometimes friends find it hard to watch their other friends go through bad times and find it hard to bite their lip. I think if she didnt care then she wouldnt have said anything anyway. Thing is shes your best friend and more likely to be relied on when you need her most. If he doesnt want to be a daddy then trust me its his loss, not yours or your little baby's! You'll have the hard work but you'll also have all the fantastic and wonderful things that go with being a parent!! So put your feet up and enjoy being pregnant :)
    Hope things work out for u, had to comment as this subject has been close to my own life in the past... and guess what.. im now married to a wonderful man and still have my best friend :)
     
  11. charlottesma

    charlottesma Mum to 2!

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    MY OH had hissy fit with both my daughter and this little bean, but he really is a great Dad and in no time at all has become very attached to this little bean, everyone has a moment of panic on finding out there expecting, we just have hormones helping us to deal with the reality that they don't give them all time.
     
  12. Katieeeee

    Katieeeee Guest

    Thankyou everyone, you've all made me feel so much better about the situation :) xxxxxx
     

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