I dont feel done but he does :/

Discussion in 'Complete Families' started by Buddysmum89, Oct 8, 2019.

  1. Buddysmum89

    Buddysmum89 proud mum of Seb & Lilith

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    Over the years myself and OH had a definitive number of children we'd like! It fluctuated! After our first (now 7 years old) he said that our son was enough for him! My broodiness however had other ideas, we suffered a shock MC in January 2014 and it destroyed my soul! After this he slowly came around to the idea of maybe one more? We began TTC in 2016, by 2017 I was pregnant with our daughter who was born 20 months ago now! Though the pregnancy was frought with problem after problem..obstetric cholestasis, cytomegalovirus, gallstones etc! And of course an elective c section at 38+3, I still yearn for maybe one more..like a last hurrah! I turned 30 in June this year and OH was 33 this year..I realise now that time will not be on my side for much longer and that scares me!

    I have broached the subject to gauge a reaction from OH, just one more I say? It's a flat out no :/

    I lay awake at night...thoughts swilling around my head and I just cant seem to shake the thought! I dont want to live in the land of what if? And then come around to doing something about it and then realising I'm too old! I get it, our finances will be well and truly pushed and stretched to their limits..but God.. tiny baby though! Makes it worth it <3

    Just one more? Even if it is when Lilith starts school (2 years from now) I'd give anything for just one more!

    I feel like I'm trapped! :(
     
  2. AngelUK

    AngelUK Mum of twin boys

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    I know how you feel as I AM too old now and always wish I could have had one more. So let me tell you from an older mummy that biologically you won't be TOO old for a good 15 years yet!
    But I think the only thing to do is to have a very honest heart to heart with your OH and letting him see how you feel and how sad you are. I wish you the very best and hope you get your heart's desire. :hugs:
     
  3. Lunabelle

    Lunabelle Mother of one

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    So after we had our first my husband too changed his mind about the number! We had always said 2 as a minimum, maybe 3. Then he said 1 is enough. I completely lost it with him saying he can't change his mind when I am already committed to him etc. Basically he saw how much it meant to me and he agreed to try for a second one in the fear he would loose me otherwise. For the third one it's a big no no too. I am thinking maybe when our daughter and future baby will be older we could have a little last baby or even adopt one. I am hoping when the kids are older he will change his mind. I am ok with two though. I guess you will need to decide if you can live with just having two. These are very difficult issues to solve. Maybe you can change your mind too about something that's important to him to make him realise how you are feeling.
     
  4. OnErth&InHvn

    OnErth&InHvn Waiting on Bee

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    What about agreeing to NTNP? Dont track and try just be together. See what happens.
     

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