I don't know what to do - so upset :(

[dizzyjoo]

Hi all

My little girl is 12 days old. She was born at 8lbs and on day 5, lost 7% of her birth weight - down to 7lbs 6.5ozs. At day 9, she was weighed again and had lost a couple more ozs. She went down to 7lbs 5ozs. At this point she was producing plenty of wet nappies (actually she could compete with her 2.5yr old big brother in the wet nappy stakes!) but hadn't pooped for a week. The midwife observed her feeding and said she's latching beautifully, but not swallowing enough which could indicate a flow problem - too slow I guess. Poppy also falls asleep at my breast quite frequently, which the MW indicated could also be flow related - she is getting so tired from sucking!

Anyway, because of her lack of poop and further weight loss, we were advised to continue breast feeding but top her up with EBM or formula. We have been giving her formula as I can't get anything out when I express. She did tell us to top up at every feed but we've been trying to do it every other feed so she has more of my milk than formula. She has been guzzling 1-2ozs.

She was fairly settled until about a week old, but then started to get fussy and unsettled. I would feed her, then put her down, and 30-mins later she would start rooting and screaming to be fed again. Since giving her the top up, we have noticed she's a lot more settled and gets a proper sleep / rest in between feeds.

My boobs generally feel empty during the day. They are really soft, not painful or sore and don't leak. By the evening, I feel like they have "filled up" a bit and overnight they fill up too.

I'm told a baby needing to feed every 30-mins is totally normal but it doesn't feel like it. I'm clearly no expert but I feel like I AM lacking in milk - I have SOME but its not enough to help my little girl begin to gain weight and thrive. I also agree maybe my flow is too slow for her, hence why she gets so tired and sleepy during the feeds.

I've seen about 6 midwives now and went to a local BF clinic - ALL have said Poppy is feeding and latching beautifully. All have commented on the fact she's not doing "suck suck swallow" - its more like "suck suck suck suck suck suck suck swallow".

I am pretty much going through a mirror image repeat of what happened to my son when he was born. We lasted 3 weeks before switching to formula fully - and I have zero regrets and zero guilt over it because he lost way more weight than Poppy (13% initially, gained 2ozs, then lost another 7ozs) and also did struggle to latch. It was totally the best for him and he is the happiest, healthiest little boy ever.

This time I feel WAY more guilty about switching Poppy to formula. Not least because she has puked a few times after it! (think the bottle speed is too fast!). Anyway - she can do it, she "gets" how to feed and its clear she loves it with me. Toby always struggled a bit but Poppy doesn't. Like I said above, I know I have SOME milk, it just doesn't seem enough.

I just don't know what to do. Part of me feels life would be easier moving her to formula. Its only been 2 weeks and Daddy has been off work, but I already don't like the effect it has on Toby. He gets bored and frustrated with the amount of time I'm glued to the sofa feeding her. He gets clingy with me and tries to pull Poppy away from me. I have quite large, fatty boobs and so I can't really do things one handed! i.e. so I can read to him, or play with him during a feed. Its a hard slog BF her, then making up formula.

But a huge part of me doesn't want to stop it with Poppy. I was so ready to stop with Toby, I'm just not with Poppy.

Oh and to add - Poppy was weighed again today (and finally we got discharged from the MW) and she's re-gained 4.5ozs.

I really need some advice!!!

Thank you xxx

 

[Ew68j5]

First of all, congratulations on your LO! You're doing great. My advice would be to try and stop the top ups, it will only reduce your supply further. Even an oz or two can be enough to dry up your milk. It's perfectly normal for babies to cluster feed, sometimes all day at this age and this is their way of upping your supply. It's hard and time consuming but sooo worth it if you want to bf. just feed feed feed and don't look at the click, it has to be on demand. Good luck, xx

 

[satine51]

I would also try to avoid top ups if possible, because it will become a vicious circle of your supply not catching up with her demand. As to frequent feedings being not 'normal' i remember my LO literally hanging on my breast for hours , literally, especially in the evening. It just felt like there couldn't possibly be anything left there, but clearly there must have been.
I would see a local la leche league or nct breastfeeding for help. Midwives and hv are not often breastfeeding experts. I was told everything was perfect and 2 midwives saw me feed, but a bf consultant recognised a latch problem straight away.
Try switch nursing for increasing supply, drink plenty of water and nurse as often as you can. Best of luck! https://www.askdrsears.com/topics/breastfeeding/faqs/increasing-your-milk-supply
Xx

 

[patch2006uk]

Breast compressions, make sure you drink loads of water, consider switching to cup feeding rather than bottles for any top-ups, but try and reduce the number of top-ups too, and see an LC or get some support from a different source. It might be a tongue tie affecting her coordination, or some discomfort from birth.

It's unlikely IMO that your flow is 'too slow' - that sounds like a cop out answer to be honest.

Good luck

 

[summer rain]

I'd definitely get checked for tongue tie or other similar conditions, it may be that your other child had the same issue as well as it tends to be genetic. Babies with tt often look like they have the perfect latch when observed feeding xx

 

[fifi-folle]

My son fed like that til his tongue tie was snipped, he basically couldn't get milk out properly. We had seen so many health care professionals who said all was fine with his latch etc but he still wasn't gaining enough so I insisted he was referred for tt check.

 

[andella95]

I have a very similar story, and I completely understand a lot of the emotions you described.

In my case, my little girl was only 3 oz above her birthweight at 5 weeks. Her doctor was concerned, but very supportive. She stopped gaining weight for about a week, and so we were admitted to the hospital for monitored feeds by a lactation consultant with before and after weights after each breast. Turns out she was onlly get about 8-10 oz in a 24 hour period.

I felt absolutely awful. Like a complete failure as a mother - first because I wasn't making enough milk to support my little baby (it's not just about getting calories to grow - they need them for brain development as well), and second because I had gone so long without fully realizing that she wasn't really getting enough.

I was terrifed to add formula because I didn't want my supply to drop even further. We were given a free rental on a hospital grade dual pump, as well as an rx (reglan is all that's available in the us), and started taking herbs.

I was just so depressed though - because with my son I pumped but he never learned to latch on and had terrible reflux and everything was a nightmare. With him I couldn't take being hooked up to a pump for hours only to get 1 or 2 oz and still need to give him formula. We finally switched to all FF with him, and I never looked back. I wasn't even sure I was going to BF this baby.

Anyway, I fell in love with BFing...and adding formula was, I thought, the worst thing ever. I had a bit of ppd, and I felt like nursing my little girl was the only good thing I could do. It was (still is) hugely emotionally rewarding. I was so depressed...but then I realized that I couldn't put my emotional needs over my baby's physical needs. I don't think people realize how much would feel like I was starving my baby if I stopped the additional formula. It's so easy for people to say to stop the formula, but the truth is that, for me, making sure my baby was well fed is more important than breastfeeding.

She's now 9 1/2 weeks, and she's still getting some formula, but mostly breastfeeding. I'm a bigger girl with a massive chest, and so it's really hard for her to get everything in when she latches on. I do breast compressions and shape my nipple and try to pump when I get the chance - although it's not as often as I would like.

Our plan is to be able to completely eliminate any formula (it's so inconvenient, lol), but we're not there yet. As she grows, she is getting better at getting the milk out and I'm praying that by sticking to it, I'll be able to increase my milk supply enough to stop all formula - but that time isn't yet. I too have my days when I think giving up would be the easiest route for all of us, but I'd rather live with the temporary *pain* of working so hard now for this short time than to have the life long pain of regret over what I should have done.

I'm sure that doesn't help too much, as I don't really have a lot of advice, but I just wanted to let you know that whatever you decide - it's understandable and you WILL make the right decision for you. You aren't alone!

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

www.kellymom.com for a LONG list of herbs/medicines to help with your supply. (it can help if its not there at all, low, or w/e the case may be).

You can also get a nipple shield. Maybe its a nipple/tongue issue. You could express enough top make your nipple stick out some and easier to latch onto OR get a nip shield. Some people dont like em, but they do help. You can find them at Walmart, Target, babies R us. LC will have them too.

Id PUMP PUMP PUMP if you cant get the baby to latch on as well, that will up your supply.