I don't know what to think, or say...

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by bumphenders, Nov 13, 2011.

  1. bumphenders

    bumphenders Well-Known Member

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    Well, for those who don't know, i'm not with FOB, we didn't really know either other and LO wasn't plan - this is no secret, I was happy in my job and things were going quite well for me, saying this however, I WOULDN'T change what has happened for the world now..
    Anyways, My step cousin got married last year to V and she is a lovely girl, We haven't really spoke loads but when we get to family gatherings and stuff, we do share a few words etc.

    Last week a few/quite a lot bad things were said to me over facebook, where everyone could see, a few girls from work and a man that I used to work with, said that i'm in no position to have or raise a child, I'm not financially stable, not with FOB etc, and basically said I wouldn't be a good mother, which really shook me and upset me loads, I'm currently off work with stress/anxiety and this humiliation from the girls on my team at work, has made me not want to go back..

    Anyways, about 10 minutes after this had all happened V posted "Oh how the truth hurts!!" and then someone asked her if she was ok and she said "Yeah wasn't about me just an observation on another situation!"

    Now most people wouldn't link these together, but, V has opening said to a few family members that she disagrees with my situation and stuff... She is extremely overweight (Dr has told her before she even thinks about children she needs to lose ALOT of weight), she smokes alot and also drinks.
    She is finding it very hard to conceive due to her weight, and has said she is very jealous of me, that I wasn't trying for a baby etc...and I now have what she is trying so hard to have!

    Now I can kind of guess how it most feel not being able to conceive, but at the same time she isn't really doing a lot to help herself.

    I just feel so shocked and hurt by both people at work, and then my own family.

    Just needed a rant, or to just get this out of my head :/
     
  2. youngmommy2

    youngmommy2 Guest

    People are shit.. Regardless of her situation the adult thing to do would be to share her feelings about her fertility issues with you for maybe some consolement. Not fair to put you on blast all over facebook. Block everyone who said nasty things.
     
  3. Wantingbbbump

    Wantingbbbump Airyonna is here 4/2/2012

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    I agree, those people need to be blocked!! She has no right to say bad things to you or about you!! I am now a single mom of 4 kids with a baby on the way and if someone said these things to me I would be really hurt and ticked off. Hold your head high, there is nothing wrong with you having a baby with out the dad involved!!
     
  4. bumphenders

    bumphenders Well-Known Member

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    I'm probably just being very hormonal, normally things don't bother me, but I just feel really down lately and things like that aren't helping...
    I feel alone enough, without all this thrown in :/

    :flow:
     
  5. jenniferttc1

    jenniferttc1 mommy of 1 baking #2

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    People can be so rude! I was ttc for 19 months with this little guy, and it still pisses me off how bitter some women ttc can be.
     
  6. bumphenders

    bumphenders Well-Known Member

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    I sometimes feel like I can't be excited and stuff because of people TTC :/
    :flow:
     
  7. Sew_Sweet

    Sew_Sweet Well-Known Member

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    People at work can be dealt with. They are harassing you. you need to speak to someone in charge about what is going on and remove them from any of your social networks.

    Don't know what to say about the other lady. Hopefully she wasn't talking about you - you never know. But some people let jealousy get the better of them. it's too bad.
     
  8. jenniferttc1

    jenniferttc1 mommy of 1 baking #2

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    You have every right to be excited. Maybe not rub it in their face, but it doesnt seem like you are doing that. I tried for a long time, and I deserve to be happy and thrilled about my pregnancy. Their time will come and when it does, I highly doubt they would hide their excitment for others.
     
  9. pooch

    pooch Well-Known Member

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    You need to report that to your boss; even though it was done outside of work since they are coworkers its wrong.
     
  10. pixiepower

    pixiepower Well-Known Member

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    oh hun, I don't know if i have any right words, but if i was there I'd give you a massive:hugs: you should not hjave to put up with that sort of behaviour, especially in public, please block your profile from them, how dare they do that to you for everyone to see. that was the blind leading the blind there, all jumping on a sad pathetic bandwagon.
    I cant imagine how hard it must be, but in a few months, when you are cuddling that gorgeous baby in your arms, i would sit there and pity them, that they cant possibly be as happy as you are right in that moment xx
     
  11. KnitWit

    KnitWit Well-Known Member

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    I was TTC for a long time and I would never have been so openly bitter to someone. I admit I've deleted folk from facebook when they got pregnant but they were always people I hardly spoke to anyway lol.

    I would out right ask her if her comments were referring to your situation and tell her how hurtful the comments from your work mates have been.

    I'd put money on the fact that she'll be desperate to be your best friend once the baby is here so she can fuss over it. That's when you get the pleasure of telling her to push off :)
     
  12. Nrs2772

    Nrs2772 Mom To Maddie

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    I would remove those people from my facebook page and block them. You do not need that sort of negativity!:hugs:
     
  13. xAmiixLouisex

    xAmiixLouisex Mommy! <3

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    I HATE these kind of people! I've had the facebook trash talk and it's horrible! Thing is you're so helpless and can't just delete these things when they're not on your own profile!
    Block them all. Cut contact with V and the rest of the horrible people. You don't need them in your life!
     
  14. IrishGirl

    IrishGirl Katies Mam&Expecting

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    Hey hun,nasty people = nasty comments Simple.Id defo report it to your boss.Yes TTC is really hard.We were LTTTC for 5.5 Years.I was always happy seeing BFPs but it did hurt a little.As long as its not rubbed in your face.Even now ive posted trying to offer advice in TTC and get snarky comments because im pregnant,even though it took us 5.5 Years!!!!
     
  15. Twayzeekrissy

    Twayzeekrissy Mama of 1. pregnant

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    I can't believe how mean people are! Ignore them even though it's hard. Your doing the best you can with what happened. Things happen and sometimes we make misstakes. At least your being an adult about this. Your an amazingly strong person for doing the right... As for your cousin Karma sucks!
     
  16. Lemonflower

    Lemonflower Well-Known Member

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    Awww, I'm sorry hun. FOB has left me and I have had people saying I wont cope and him and his family hassling me that I will be a bad mother!
    It's horrible....
    Just hold your head up and show them, that's what I think!!
    The people at your work can be spoken to and if it isn't dealt with they can be suspended or dismissed! It's harassment!! Don't leave your job because of them!

    As for V... She sounds digusting!! I have fertility issues and have never gotten jealous or nasty to women who become pregnant! The majority of women with problems would never be horrible she just sounds like a horrible women!

    Chin up Hun! It's gonna be you and you LO soon and hopefully none of these mindless people will matter!!
    Xxxx
     
  17. Enasni453

    Enasni453 Well-Known Member

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    I agree that you should talk to your manager about the coworkers.

    As for V, I think you're jumping to conclusions. Her facebook-message was probably entirely unrelated - or perhaps she saw the rude comments on your page and was hurt because she feels some guilt about being an unfit mother herself due to her unhealthy habits.
     
  18. jenniferttc1

    jenniferttc1 mommy of 1 baking #2

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    I use to love helping women in the ttc sections, but some are very very nasty, and bash anyone thats pregnant they see in there. I always thought better advice came from someone who had sucess after ttc for quite awhile, gave hope, and shared their experience. It was no easy journey :shrug:
    I hardly post in there now, there is a certain memeber in there, that just flat pisses me off with how cruel and bitter she is. Never seen anything like it before. Sure I was upset and bitter sometimes, but never haveI ever showed bitterness to someone, or tell them how down I feel about their miracle.
     
  19. swalumni

    swalumni Mama of Two

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    God, people can be SO shitty. Keep reading the comments here...you are going to be, and are, a great momma. Dont let their issues become your own.
     
  20. sandilion

    sandilion Well-Known Member

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    Oh wow, seriously remove them all off your facebook now. You can do it, don't be afraid of doing it. I myself have also been exposed to some real nastiness from people from work who i also had on my facebook and i have deleted them. It's amazing how my pregnancy has brought out the real true ugly sides of some very jealous miserable women. They know i have removed them too because they act very strange with me now and try to avoid me, and i don't care i am happy! they get the picture i want nothing to do with them now and they leave me alone.

    If any of them tried to harass me because i removed from Facebook them i would go straight to HR and report them.

    As for this V chick - i would confront her. Don't put up with people shit hun, you deserve better than that.
     

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