I don't mean to put a downer on things just need some reasurance!

Discussion in 'Teen Pregnancy' started by kirsteen, Nov 17, 2011.

  1. kirsteen

    kirsteen Ollypop<3

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2011
    Messages:
    1,512
    Likes Received:
    0
    Are any of you other young mums worried about all the things you will be missing? I mean I'm really excited about my baby and everything, but whilst all my friends are going out and having fun I wonder, I don't want to be 30 and regret not doing things I really want to do... I am tremendously happy about my foetus but was just wondering.
     
  2. _laura

    _laura Mummy to Monster Max

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2010
    Messages:
    4,155
    Likes Received:
    0
    Think of it this way. You may have your child young but when everyone else is settling down to have babies at 30+ your LO will have flown the nest and you can go on loads of holidays ;)
     
  3. beanzz

    beanzz Mama to 2

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2011
    Messages:
    6,338
    Likes Received:
    0
    As my boss (25 years old and her docs just told her that her illness might mean she can't have kids) said to me when I was still trying to decide: you don't know what's around the corner, your child is on its way now and when you're 30 your LO will be older and you'll be able to start doing more. You have all the time in the world to party with your friends, luckily for me all my friends are either pregnant or have babies too but my boss didn't have her illness when she was my age and she was saying she almost wishes she'd fallen pregnant back then so then she'd have a child.
     
  4. jemmie1994

    jemmie1994 Evie's Mummy <3

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2011
    Messages:
    2,664
    Likes Received:
    3
    i feel kinda sad that im gonna miss out on student life when all my friends are going on about moving away to uni etc but am more of a family person so very excited for my little family to move into our new home and start our new life :)
     
  5. HeatherElisex

    HeatherElisex Mummy To Be

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2011
    Messages:
    304
    Likes Received:
    0
    I sometimes feel abit sad that i couldnt celebrate my 18th the way i would of wanted to, or cant go to my OH's mums for christmas because they are to far away, and new years eve wont as fun; but then all you gotta think about is what your missing out on it all for and its all worth it just to have my little baby! Ill be one of them embrassing mums partying with there 18 year old :haha:
     
  6. JLFx3

    JLFx3 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2011
    Messages:
    155
    Likes Received:
    0
    in my opinion im not worried about it at all, im 33 weeks and i can still do most things with my friends now (apart from drinking alcohol Of course) so im sure once my LO is here i can still do the "normal" things a teen would do, im still going to college and i'll still have a social life i'll just have the added bonus of having a beautiful little girl
     
  7. mixedbeautyx

    mixedbeautyx Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2009
    Messages:
    3,806
    Likes Received:
    0
    Not really, I did all of my partying and stuff between 15-19ish. I had a great time, but then I met OH and fell in love and he made me a better person. So happy I met him, I dont miss partying and stuff like that (hes not that type of person, so it really helped me calm down) cause at the end of the day family is most important to me. My beanie will always be there. And if I had to choose between parties or my OH and beanie.. I would choose them each time! :)
     
  8. zerolivia

    zerolivia Cayden's Proud Mama

    Joined:
    May 14, 2011
    Messages:
    373
    Likes Received:
    0
    Just because we're having babies doesn't mean we won't be able to have fun or go out anymore. I don't think anybody should be going out, getting drunk, or acting stupid for that matter. But hanging with your friends and seeing a movie, going out for a few drinks (when we're old enough lol) and getting time yourself will probably be offered to you more because so many people will want to babysit or be willing to babysit! :) We have to give up a few things by being parents but it will be worth it because we have a beautiful child :)
     
  9. samisshort

    samisshort Mama to 2 boys

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2011
    Messages:
    1,895
    Likes Received:
    0
    I sometimes have anxiety attacks thinking of this honestly.... I am only 16 and expecting my first baby boy in March, and believe me, I am so happy about him and couldn't be anymore excited because I have PCOS and didn't think it could happen to me.

    But, I do sometimes worry none of my friends will want to hang out with me. Although, this pregnancy reconnected me with my best friend Kelli. She got pregnant at 14 and had her daughter at 15, and just stopped talking to everyone. But now, she's back in my life.

    Becoming a parent so young is definitely scary and you might miss a few things, but I'm sure you'll get a break when it's offered to you. My OH's mom already told me she's a free babysitter for me and OH if we ever need her. Just don't take advantage of situations like that though :thumbup:
     
  10. x__amour

    x__amour Mommy.

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2010
    Messages:
    20,274
    Likes Received:
    1
    Not really. I love my life. :D
     
  11. trinaestella

    trinaestella Aliyah's mummy! <3

    Joined:
    May 23, 2011
    Messages:
    2,435
    Likes Received:
    0
    Yeah, I worry about this everyday :sad1:
    I get upset because I'm never going to be just me again, I'll be a different person I'll have a KID, which is beyond me to be honest - but I love my Lele so much so I don't really mind.
    I know my mum is gonna help me out a lot though, so I'm quite lucky really. She's going to let me live my life still which is good :D Obviously I won't take the piss though because I have a baby to raise but its nice my mum's helping me out :flower:
     
  12. NAndersonx

    NAndersonx Mummy To Sophie Louise

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2011
    Messages:
    304
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi hun, You can still have a personal life with a baby once s/he is here. Im sure your OH would babysit if you ever wanted to go out with friends. Or grandparents if you fancy alone time with your OH. I also had time to hang out with friends drinking and partying when i was 13 - 16, young i know but you get in with the wrong crowd and thats what happens. I honestly dont miss going out drinking with friends anymore, before i was pregnant i used to go out once a month if that clubbing with a few family members and that was enough for me. you dont have to miss out though because you have a little one on the way. you could still go to the cinema or out to eat somewhere during your pregnancy though. Hope this helps xxx
     
  13. Ramen

    Ramen Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2011
    Messages:
    437
    Likes Received:
    0
    I was a little down that I had to drink a shirley temple on my 21st while everyone else drank on my behalf, but like others said having a child doesn't mean your life ends. OH's coworkers have all told us not to believe the rumors and they've all got young children. Obviously, you can't go party all weekend long, but there will still be time for the occasional girls night out or date night you just need to find a sitter you trust. :thumbup:
     
  14. KiwiMOM

    KiwiMOM Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2011
    Messages:
    1,816
    Likes Received:
    0
    yes and no.. my OH is upset that we won't be able to travel and live over seas for a year or so but I wouldn't really have been able to any way because I'll be in med school and I'm taking my gap year next year ;) I honestly never had THAT much fun going out.. I struggled with substances for a long time and even just before I found out about bubs if I got upset or angry I'd deal with that by getting wasted.. I could never do that to my baby, I haven't had a smoke since the weekend before I found out and being pregnant has forced me to deal with this in a much healthier way. All of my OH's friends and even my friends are pretty into drinking, the culture here is horrible for it and so its hard for me to hang out with those people. Me and my OH have really had to grow up, he didn't even like to drink to start so we usually stay home together on party nights. It's nice to have that support.

    In saying that I'm pretty nervous because I'm going to a club tonight! It's my good friends 21st and so we are heading down just to say happy birthday and hang out for a while.. but it's my first time out since I started showing (and even knew) so I'm worried how bouncers and our friends will react. And its OH's best friend (THAT ONE, the smokes with the windows up in the car one)'s 19th on Saturday and OH isn't working sunday, so he'll probably have a few and I'll end up baby sitting, if I'm even invited! :dohh:
     
  15. EffyKat

    EffyKat Mammy 2 a gorgeous prince

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2010
    Messages:
    2,041
    Likes Received:
    0
    I worried about this until my son arrived. I can't imagine life without him and to me Partying and travelling don't seem as fun. I'd rather stay at home and watch TV and play with him. My sister left it until her 30's to have her first child but then found out she couldn't have them due to complications with her partner. She had IVF and succeeded first time round. Now she can't have any more as it's too expensive and all the money she had saved she spent on Holidays years ago. She kicks herself to this day for not trying sooner. Not saying it's right to have children when you're young or whatever but I know she regrets a few things she did.
     
  16. nicolefx

    nicolefx Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2011
    Messages:
    507
    Likes Received:
    0
    I know how you feel - i'm not worried about not being able to go out and get wasted because I was never a big drinker etc but it's scary thinking that your life is going to change forever and it will take some time adjusting I think. I mean i'll be responsible for a life - I won't be able to just do what I want anymore, from simple things like lying in till whenever I choose to going off to see the world! I think the fact I still don't particularly want to be a 'mum' probably has something to do with it LOL - but hey ho it's happening whether I like it or not :haha:. I'm sure i'll adjust just fine, I already have just by being pregnant but I don't think i'll ever recommend getting pregnant at 18 :flower:. x
     
  17. Kaisma

    Kaisma Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2011
    Messages:
    2,350
    Likes Received:
    0
    I have done a lot of stuff in my life and Im not worrying missing out on anything really. Only thing has put me down once I move to UK and I have no friends here. I have friends in Finland who has babies and who I could always hang with. So only thing Im scared of (well not scared cos I know it's happening as Im a bit lonely already) that I will be so lonely, when OHs working, I can do nothing, just be alone with the baby...
    And tbh somedays I wanna leave when I think about hanging with my friends, going out with them, shopping, coffee house, going out with other mums... but I love OH so much and I wanna be with him and have a family with him.
     
  18. youngmummy94

    youngmummy94 Tylers Mummy !

    Joined:
    May 10, 2011
    Messages:
    954
    Likes Received:
    0
    Not at all. I gotta admit when I was 14/15 I was an idiot and went out and got drunk and partied and now its all out of my system and I have no interest in it. I can't wait for my new life with LO and OH. One day I want to travel but when LO and whoever else comes along is older then we can go!
     
  19. imprfcttense

    imprfcttense Expecting a Little Boy

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2011
    Messages:
    556
    Likes Received:
    0
    TBH, I was never a huge drinker, and don't mind not being able to go out and party like a lot of my friends do. I worry that I'm missing out on the whole college experience, though. Dorms, roommates, etc. Instead, I live with OH. My biggest fear/hardest realization, is that I am 19 and stuck with the same man for the rest of my life. I'm not saying every mommy has to be with the FOB, but he's nothing but nice to me, etc., and I have no reason not to be with him, other than the fact that I'm scared I'll be missing out on other relationships, which is just selfish of me. I probably shouldn't even be admitting that, it sounds stupid. But I've gone into a sort of depression thinking about it. Or just wanting to take care of myself - alone - not even to date, but to breathe and be by myself for a while. :/
     
  20. nicolefx

    nicolefx Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2011
    Messages:
    507
    Likes Received:
    0
    I've had similar thoughts too - I love my OH, we have a great relationship and we've been together for a while but the thought that he will always be a part of my life now no matter what is a bit scary. I can never just walk away and move on, because I will always have to stay civil for the sake of bubs and he will always want to be a part of LO's life. I feel bad for admitting it because I can't imagine myself with anyone else or anything but he's my first pretty much everything :haha:. x
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice