i dont think he understands

[jenny25]

i have been feeling different towards my partner since finding out ive been pregnant , we had 2 losses last year and this is the furthest i have gotten with the blighted ovum last year we never got too see anything but this time around we seen everything including a hb , i dont feel close too him as i thought i would be this is what i have too take in order to help me stay pregnant

1500mg metformin
folic acid
75mg aspirin
400 mg progesterone
40ml clexane injections daily

this is day in day out , we have not had sex since we found out as we are playing it safe , i just fed up with feeling really hormonal i have been refered to councilling by my specialist midwife cause i had to stop my anti depresants
but how do i save my relationship or fix it he thinks their is nothing wrong but why do i do ?

 

[emilyjade]

Aww hun pregnancy is an amazing yet stressful time and with all the hormone changes i hope this is just a phase for you and you can be very happy soon x

 

[aubreee]

hey jenny

what exactely do u think is wrong in your relationship? if u dont mind me asking
you both have been thru a tough time with the 2 losses, so now maybe he is a little tense about the new pregnancy and the risks. do you talk about that?
also all the hormones can make u very emotional.
wish u all the best with this pregnancy and that you both get to enjoy it together

 

[mislaww]

Hey jenny honey! So sorry you're feeling this way. I think it's very normal, though, and nothing to stress too much about (easier said than done).

There's a lot of us who are super annoyed with our hubbies or fighting all the time. There's those lucky ones who are closer than ever, but let's ignore them, shall we? Either way is normal.

Like the others have said, it's a lot to do with hormones. And for me and maybe you - it's the stress. The PAL thing is so incredibly stressful - I can't imagine how much more stressful given your history. Like you, we're pretty much off sex since the bfp, as we're too nervous. Also, I'm pretty bloated, which hardly puts me in the mood!

So if you ask me, there's probably nothing wrong with your relationship unless something specific has happened, which I assume not. And there's nothing wrong with you, obviously! You seem like such an awesome girl.

I don't have a solution for you, except be patient and try to make the relationship your priority when you're not to ill to pay attention to him. Maybe make sure he knows how you're feeling too, so he doesn't take things the wrong way? I have to tell hubby that all the time as I'm often a raging bitch lately!

Good luck hon - and try not to worry about this! Lord knows you have enough to worry about already!

 

[jenny25]

hey jenny

what exactely do u think is wrong in your relationship? if u dont mind me asking
you both have been thru a tough time with the 2 losses, so now maybe he is a little tense about the new pregnancy and the risks. do you talk about that?
also all the hormones can make u very emotional.
wish u all the best with this pregnancy and that you both get to enjoy it together

i just dont feel close to him like i did if you get me xx

 

[natz123]

I don't think men understand quite what we are going through. My hubby is a great guy but he has far too much energy. Even though I try to explain it to him he can't see how i am so tired. I don't have the energy at the moment to do all the housework and because he has so much energy he can't relate to me. This has caused us more arguments than usual and I think my lack of energy just makes things worse.
I think it's important to still try to make time for the 2
Of you. Go out for a meal or even a walk. We never talk more than if we just go out for a nice relaxing walk. When you live with someone it's hard as your often together but it's difficult to remember to actually spend time together. Especially if like me your in bed by 9.
I hope your emotions get better soon Hun, just remember it's probably the hormones talking xxxxx

 

[fiveoyea]

I think alot changes regardless ..i thought we would instantly be closer as we are bringing a baby into the world, when honestly we are lightyears apart now... i think he is stressed over all the things that need to be done, and I think I'm stressed about what to eat, what not to eat, not wanting to gain a bunch of weight etc..it's a stresser..

if by not having any desire to be close to him..you mean sexually..i think that's normal too...I'm being extra cautious until we have our first appt in a week or so..then hopefully i'll loosen up, i miss being close to him, but i think it would make me panic and stress if we did have sex and i had any spotting afterwards so to me it's better to play it safe for now... hope things get better. i'm sure they will

you have a lot of emotions making it farther than you have...i can imagine it's like walking on eggshells. sending you hugs...and by the way..most men have no idea and think everything is ok even when a huge problem stares them in the face. my hubby is the same way I thnk I'm also a little over sensitive at times so that could also contribute.

hugs to u!

 

[jenny25]

thank you for all your advice it means so much to me , im going to talk to him when he comes in at the moment we currently live with his mum cause we have been waiting for a house for a year through the council i moved down to essex from scotland i think partly that we dont have the privacy that we used to when he came up to visit me , but i understand that hormones can make us more emotional and tend to look at things with a fine tooth pick , he is the most amazing person i have ever met and i would be lost with out him , he is a good step dad to my 6 year old he is perfect in every way i guess this is just new too him and i think he worries about me aswell

 

[MilosMommy7]

i know how you feel when i found out i was pregnant the first time we hugged and felt happy and stuff. this time it was just me sayng i'm pregnant and then i felt excited.
we didnt have sex until after my missed AF because i found out early since we were TTC. i know that made it hardr too because i was stressed out from the hormones and just wasnt feeling up to sex. it'll eventually blow over though. i know that sounds easier said. but it happens. it will eventually blow over once the hormones level out. and then in 2nd tri you guys can have your bump to rub and adore. it gets much better

 

[lynzlogan]

Regarding the housing situation- you may well be on the council waiting list for a few more years in Dagenham!
We gave up in the end and went private rent but get housing benefit from the council so our £900 rent is more like £400 per month after the housing benefit comes off.
They pay it directly to you- worth enquiring and you can stay on the waiting list too.

Perhaps the not feeling as close is 1) due to hormones etc, and 2) due to coming off the anti d's???

I've been on cipramil/citolopram for the past 2.5yrs and when i first came off them (14 weeks ago) i felt weird about everyone for the first couple of weeks, but seem to have settled now.
Although i do get days where i panick and think "how the hell am i going to cope with two kids, and i hope Leo don't feel left out etc" but i know things will work out in the end.

I still have a months worth of meds in my cupboard and the GP said to keep them for after the birth incase i can't get an appointment quick enough.
Here if you wanna chat chick xxx

 

[jenny25]

thanks lynz we have the mp looking into things as their is 3 of us sharing a bedroom and its not possible for 4 to share one room their is just no room hun pop me a msg with your number on it on fb hun xxx