I don't think I wanna do this anymore?

Discussion in 'Breastfeeding' started by lulasmummy, Jun 1, 2011.

  1. lulasmummy

    lulasmummy mummy to two princesses

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    :shrug: I never wanted to breastfeed. Didn't do it with my first daughter and fully decided to bottle feed. It didn't even enter my mind as bad as it sounds. Well this time around my birth was amazing as opposed to my first which was traumatic. Me and baby were home straight away. Any hoo on the 1st night i was giving her a bottle and she wasn't taking to it very well, she was very windy and didn't look satisfied so (shockingly) I put her to my breast? She lovedddddd it :winkwink: and I was amazed at how well she latched etc. Ok so i thought this was a one off but I carried on. Day after day I kept saying Im gonna put her back on the bottle but then we got through another day and i started to feel quite proud. I had really sore nipples which bled badly but we overcame that and they are fine and pain free now. I even express bottles to take out with me because Im very shy and not confident enough to do it in public yet.
    The thing is even though my docs and midiwife compliment me massively, Im thinking of going to the bottle. I just don't have confidence in what I am doing. I know if I bottle feed I will know how much she has had. Somtimes she is off and on and looks unsatisfied and i feel awful. I also can't seem to always settle her at night? I dread it sometimes and just think the bottle would be a hell of a lot easier? I keep persevering but at the same time I get no time for my other daughter and i am always stressed, not feeling well or eating and i keep trying to weigh up the pros and cons. Would love some advice?
    And also is it ok that everyyyyyyyyy nappy is a poo???m :blush:
    thanx ladies
     
  2. kerrie24

    kerrie24 me,him and 3 lo's

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    Its fine for them to poo a lot.:thumbup:

    I dont really know what to say about the original question, only you can make that decision,and of course all us breastfeeders are going to say carry on breastfeeding.If you are managing to breastfeed without any problems,your baby is having wet and dirty nappies and generally growing and becoming more alert then she is getting enough.You dont have to know how many ounces that is.

    I think it is 100% easier to breastfeed with an older child than it is to ff,no cleaning sterilizing and mixing bottles.The only difference is they go a bit longer between feeds.But you can play with/talk to/watch film with your older child while you bf,and babies settle into much more of a pattern when they get a bit bigger,so you have more free time then.

    If your baby is used to the bottle and you are not happy with how she settles at night you could try a bottle of formula before bed,rather than stopping bf alltogether.

    It seems a shame that you are thinking of giving up when you just got past the hard part.Its totally up to you of course.
    Good luck in making your decision :hugs:
     
  3. lulasmummy

    lulasmummy mummy to two princesses

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    :shrug:Thnx kerrie :flower:

    Hoping she will settle into more of a routine this on demand business is all new to me! Cant wait to get her weighed on friday maybe that will make me feel better :shrug:
     
  4. kerrie24

    kerrie24 me,him and 3 lo's

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    Yeah it is so encouraging when they have gained weight and you know its all down to you,you are doing a great thing for your baby!

    How old is she?They tend to lose a bit of weight in the first 5-7 days then start to gain,so dont be put off if she hasnt gained much yet.

    Sorry ive just noticed her dob at the bottom-as she is a couple of weeks old,chances are she will have gained by now.
     
  5. RaspberryK

    RaspberryK Well-Known Member

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    No proper advice - I am just a lurker but I think you have done extremely well and should be so proud of yourself for feeding your baby so far.
    I think if it was me that I would carry on as making up bottles and all that gubbins is a right hassle.

    x
     
  6. lulasmummy

    lulasmummy mummy to two princesses

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    thanx girls!
    She seems content enough most of the time its just sometimes she has a bad feed (if there is such a thing?) and seems mad at me lol! Then i feel bad like Im doing it all wrong and wanna throw in the towel. does it get easier? :blush:
     
  7. kerrie24

    kerrie24 me,him and 3 lo's

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    It totally gets easier!Hopefully some more ladies will be along soon to give more words of wisdom/encouragement.Its quiet in the mornings but I know lots of ladies on here found it hard at the start,and also overcame feeding in public worries too!
     
  8. MelanieAnn

    MelanieAnn Guest

    Some mums enjoy breastfeeding all the time. But I think that's rare. Most of us love it, sometimes,and loathe it sometimes, and treat it as ho-hum necessary, like wiping the table, or doing the washing. It's just part of what you do when you have a baby. It's how it is. It's a lot easier than the alternatives would be - making bottles at night is a faff. It's amazing when it soothes and gentles the baby, but we'd quite frankly rather not have a cranky baby in the first place. But seeing as we DO have a cranky baby, it's lovely that the baby settles the moment it is put to the breast.

    Put it this way. If you switch to FF, then statistics say that you are likely to have a sicker baby who sleeps less well. (Stats, of course, apply across averages).

    It's easy to resent and be angry with babies. We can be cross because they are so hard work, and furious with them when things work out right, too. Especially when we were prepared to have things go wrong! And to justify and explain and blame them!!! Also it can really change the way we think about our first experience. If we're geared up for the same challenges and the same struggles and the same anger as last time - and it doesn't happen like that - there can be an enormous sense of anti-climax - along with waiting for the shoe to drop. Sometimes it'd be easier to fight the battle we were prepared for.

    Breastfeeding IS amazing. It is wonderful, lovely, and awesome. It's also ho-hum ordinary. Normal. A fact of life. This is how it is, this is how babies are brought up, this is how babies have been fed for millenia. Your great-grandmothers did this, and now you are doing it. It's just how ordinary babies are fed. Normally. Sometimes it's annoying, sometimes we'd rather do something else. Sometimes we groan and wish there was an easier way. But the other ways aren't easier, certainly not long term. It's a spiritual connection, but it's also, normal good parenting for your lovely baby.
     
  9. bimbojo

    bimbojo 1 toddling. 1 in the oven

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    Sounds like you are doing everything right. i had real trouble with engorgement and it seemed my ds never got enough to eat as they never seemed to go down.i stressed that he wasn't happy and healthy until i got him weighed and he had put on a pound. he has continued to pile on the weight and is settling into a routine of going 3-4 hours between feeds. i've learned to recognise when he just needs some comfort and give him a dummy and a cuddle rather than letting him suckle. this has greatly improved his actual feeds. if it is stressing you out its ok to stop but only you can decide that but it sounds like you are a natural!!!
     
  10. JaniceT

    JaniceT Mum to a gorgeous boy.

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    I am SOOOO Proud of you! Kudos for a job well done!! Yes it is a huge difference to adapt to from formula to breastmilk but bM has so many benefits :) I won't go into them as I'm sure you're heard it all before. Why don't you try expressing some and feed EBM once a day? That's what I do to rotate my frozen EBM. I BF all day but the morning feed is by bottle. Then you be able to gauge how much LO is having per feed ;-)
     
  11. CeriB

    CeriB Well-Known Member

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    Hi! I know what you mean about wanting to swap to bottles - I still think it everyday!! DH could help more, she might sleep more at night, I culd get her into a routine, I don't have to worry about NIP ...... however, I just can't do it!!! Steralising, boiling kettles, mixing, cooling down, even prepared bottles have to warmed at night. What a faff! Also, the cost of formula is extortion!

    BFing is baby led. LO will take exactly what she wants when she wants it and won't have too much or too little. Its all done in your boobs and no extra faff :thumbup: You just need to trust yourself and LO and it will all be fine! Just judge what she is doing by weight and wet nappies. Even weight gain can be a bit iffy as BF babies gain differently to FF. I think there is a sticky about it^^.

    I think you would have more time for your other daughter if you BF - there is no prep or clean up needed and can you do things with her whilst feeding other daughter.

    Ultimatley the final decision is with you. If you decide to change over, you have already given her a fab start and done so well with BFing. Have you thought about combi-feeding? That way she would be getting some formula/bottles and some BF. Might ease it a bit for you? We have started doing this lately with no problems. You may want til she is at least 6 weeks though so your supply is established. You need to do what you are comfortable with, but whatever you do do, congrats for starting BF and getting so far! I hope you find a way to continue.
     
  12. lulasmummy

    lulasmummy mummy to two princesses

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    thank you all for your amazing words of support. Sometimes a bit of encouragement can work wonders! I am going to try and carry on and see how it works out. And like you say trust my own judgement. Think sometimes the tiredness kicks in and gets me a bit down but as im up and about now I feel a lot more positive. Im sure Ill be a regular on here now!
    and again thanx all :flower:
     
  13. lulasmummy

    lulasmummy mummy to two princesses

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    can i also ask do you have to wake baby up for a feed at night? sometimes summer goes down at 9 and wont wake til 3ish? but sometimes shell get up at 12? I know with bottles you dont have to wake baby?
     
  14. RaspberryK

    RaspberryK Well-Known Member

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    I think it really does depend on your baby and your supply but I've heard of doing a "dream feed" where you feed at say 10/11 just before you go to bed (baby doesn't really wake up) so that their longest and deepest sleep is between then and say 4 so you time it to suit your deepest sleep.

    x
     
  15. MissyMojo

    MissyMojo Army Wife, Mam & BFP

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    hey hunni, the first 6 weeks were tough, im now 7m in and i promise it gets easier,

    i ever woke maddox for his feeds just followed his leads, once my supply settled so did he, he cluster fed less ad would go happpily 2.5/3hrs
     
  16. Samantha675

    Samantha675 Maybe baby #3?!?

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    This is such a normal feeling. I worried a lot when my son was tiny about if I was doing it right or if he was getting enough. But like others have said watch her diapers.

    It's still very early days and it does get easier. When bfing was getting me down I just focused on the here and now. I didn't worry about the next feeding or the next day.
     
  17. lynnikins

    lynnikins Well-Known Member

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    you dont need to disturb her in the night to feed hun embrace the nights she gives you that chance to sleep
     
  18. MissCurly

    MissCurly Well-Known Member

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    there has been some great advice on here already, so just want to say, well done! i'm almost 9 months into bf and i honestly didnt think i'd make it past 6 weeks!

    i love it, and i remember a time when i lacked soo much confidence and it hurting soo bad. but i love LOVE the closeness and ease of bf.
    Oh as for night feeds, i would just feed her when she wanted it :)
     
  19. jessshakespea

    jessshakespea Well-Known Member

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    I was told today the reason babies don't settle at night is because if they feed lots at night they set up plenty of food in the boob for the next day. It's all about prolactin (which is higher at night) and the lower levels of fat in your milk at night. If that helps any with the confidence thing?! I know what you mean though, it's hard to know if you are doing it right without an empty bottle in your hand. I found an infant feeding advisor at our local hospital and just pepper her with questions! :)
     
  20. kelly29

    kelly29 Guest

    honestly hun don't stop because of your doubts:nope: i ff my other 3 so bf was new to me too, i didn;t understand it or how it worked:shrug: the freq feeding, sooooooooooo many pooh's:haha: are they getting enough but really they are:happydance: just be confident in yourself :thumbup: your doing a really fabulous job :thumbup: those early weeks are tough in so many ways, for so many reasons:wacko: but if you hang in there, all of a sudden hun, it will all become clear:thumbup: and you won't even think about it anymore! :thumbup: some of the reason you feel like this is because you ff before so in that respect you know exactly what your lo is getting, but just feed her when she wants it, and everything will all fall into place :thumbup: good luck :hugs:x
     

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