I don't think my father ever really cared....( vent )

[keljt1127]

I have not heard from my real dad since dec/jan.....and i had to call him serveral times to tell him I found out it was a boy. He NEVER answers my calls... or my mothers... Never responds to my text messages or anything.
I know he gets them... and my missed calls but never returns them back.

I have tried calling him multiple times after, and so had my mother.... but in March/April i just decided to let him do the calling... and of course have not heard from him since.

I have talked to him twice since I have been pregnant, 1st was to tell him i was pregnant.... and 2nd. to tell him the gender, and I had to pull strings just to get ahold of him.


When my parents divorced , my mom got me and my dad "got" my brother
( he hated living with him and moved in with my grandparents) so my dad willingly sent me money and ever since he found out I was pregnant the money has stopped, which I dont care about but our communication has stopped with it as well.


I am so angry at my dad that he shows no interest in his grandchild that I deleted my step mom and step sister off my facebook... because i know that is the only way he can get updated on me without driectly talking to me.
That will be the only way that he will be able to see pictures of his grandson.

He has lied and said he is "scared" that he wont be apart of my sons life but he is the one chooseing it honestly! He has lied to people in saying that my mother wont " let him see his grandson" when my mom never said anything to him or anyone about that! He has tried to point fingers at other people because he simply won't come out and say that he wants nothing to do with him or me anymore.


He knows the due date of my son ( if he remembers... ) and I honetly don't know if he will even call me.
I def. know that if he does not call in the month of June.... I am completly done with my father.
And if he does call... i wouldnt even know what to say
" Hey whats up havnt heard from you my entire pregnancy but once?"





ok Sorry ladies , I just had to get this off my chest!!

 

[ClaireMuir123]

xxxxxxx

 

[Emmy1987]

I have a 'father' like yours, I got a text from him the other night, first time since feb and it was to moan about how he wishes he had more money...

xx

 

[faun]

Sounds a horrible situation for you but its his loss as he will be the one missing out on the joy of his new grandson.

 

[NOMORENUMBERS]

aw hun dh's dad is like this too! he had issues, he actually said that when i had our first "oh that'll be ANOTHER grandchild i wont see" well when have you EVER visited? called

sorry fat fingers lol anyway

yeah he hasnt even called!

my mums dad is the same, not about her when she was having kids but now he is so wrapped up in his own business that her i am going to wait until he calls me has lasted since last november and he doesnt even know i am pregnant! he came to my wedding when ds was 9 months old, help up the welcoming line by saying that he should have seen leo before and then ruined the whole coming down the steps and having confetti thrown at us thing because everyone got shoved out the hallway through another door and behind us to make space for the next wedding grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr annoys me even now!

not the same issue as you but goes to show there are alot of people who are the same!

dont even get me started on dh's aunt, she called round a week before my dd, told me about her daughters 4th degree tear and that was the last time we saw her! we called to tell her he was born and asked why we hadnt called sooner - apologies our son is in an induced sleep in intensive care it kind of kept us! we then called her a couple of months later to say do you want to meet, she said no gave about ten reasons said she woudl call. that was 2 and a half years ago . . .i invited her to our wedding and she text me saying not coming . . . . erm buggar off then!

 

[keljt1127]

aw hun dh's dad is like this too! he had issues, he actually said that when i had our first "oh that'll be ANOTHER grandchild i wont see" well when have you EVER visited? called

Yeah my "dad" does the same thing to my half sister... blames other people for not seeing her kids.... when really he just dosent want to see them !

he says he doesnt want what happened with my half sister to happen to me, not seeing his grandchildren... but hes doing the same damm thing!!!

 

[keljt1127]

I have a 'father' like yours, I got a text from him the other night, first time since feb and it was to moan about how he wishes he had more money...

xx

I am just so fed up to the point where i dont even think my dad deserves to be apart of his life!!! Which is why I deleted my step mom n sister so he COULDNT.
my son does not need him either, i have a step dad and OHs father of course who will both 100% BE IN HIS LIFE, no dout.

 

[NOMORENUMBERS]

well the reason he doesnt see the other grandchildren is because he called one of them a bast**d - technically true but didnt mean it like that and he slapped abother one round the face when he was 2 to "discipline him"

he shouted shut up at our son really loudly once. ONCE. he was only a year old i never let dh take him round there on his own anymore and we no longer stay with him when we go to visit on extended trips . . . there is always a reason WHY

 

[Mummytofour]

Oh sweetie, it must really hurt.

Its a shame that there are dads like that in this world when there are ones like my DH that would walk through fire just to be able to be a part of their childrens lives and the vicious ex wives simply make that impossible!

I lost my own father in January and would give anything just to have him here to meet his grandchild. He wasn't the most attentive father to me to be honest when I was younger, but I still loved him no matter what.

He used to say I never phoned and I said the same to him! Once the grandchildren arrived, he did get better, but as my stepmother was/is a control freak, I think alot of it stemmed from her attitude.

Just enjoy having your LO and the rest of your family/loved ones and let your father make his own mind up. He is an adult after all and you can't force him to do anything.

 

[keljt1127]

Oh sweetie, it must really hurt.

Its a shame that there are dads like that in this world when there are ones like my DH that would walk through fire just to be able to be a part of their childrens lives and the vicious ex wives simply make that impossible!

I lost my own father in January and would give anything just to have him here to meet his grandchild. He wasn't the most attentive father to me to be honest when I was younger, but I still loved him no matter what.

He used to say I never phoned and I said the same to him! Once the grandchildren arrived, he did get better, but as my stepmother was/is a control freak, I think alot of it stemmed from her attitude.

Just enjoy having your LO and the rest of your family/loved ones and let your father make his own mind up. He is an adult after all and you can't force him to do anything.

I know my step mom does have something to do with it!
she was always jealous of me!
plus she was excited that her son's gf was having a baby( due in Aug 11') but the gf ended up acutally cheating on my step brother and ran away... so she was devastated and now my mom thinks she put stuff in my dads head because she wanted so badly to be a grandmothe.....

She use to tell him every year that he spent too much money on xmas for me.... and my birthdays.... but yet he buys her daughter 200$ tattoos.....

 

[MrsG-L]

Just wanting to send all your ladies big hugs, I was very lucky with my Dad he was amazing and loved being a grandad to my eldest daughter. He was killed 15 years ago and not a day goes by when I dont think about him x

 

[Mummytofour]

Oh sweetie, it must really hurt.

Its a shame that there are dads like that in this world when there are ones like my DH that would walk through fire just to be able to be a part of their childrens lives and the vicious ex wives simply make that impossible!

I lost my own father in January and would give anything just to have him here to meet his grandchild. He wasn't the most attentive father to me to be honest when I was younger, but I still loved him no matter what.

He used to say I never phoned and I said the same to him! Once the grandchildren arrived, he did get better, but as my stepmother was/is a control freak, I think alot of it stemmed from her attitude.

Just enjoy having your LO and the rest of your family/loved ones and let your father make his own mind up. He is an adult after all and you can't force him to do anything.

I know my step mom does have something to do with it!
she was always jealous of me!
plus she was excited that her son's gf was having a baby( due in Aug 11') but the gf ended up acutally cheating on my step brother and ran away... so she was devastated and now my mom thinks she put stuff in my dads head because she wanted so badly to be a grandmothe.....

She use to tell him every year that he spent too much money on xmas for me.... and my birthdays.... but yet he buys her daughter 200$ tattoos.....

I think yours and my stepmothers must be related!! She has two daughters herself and ALWAYS favoured them over my brother and me.
We had to sleep on the floor in the dining room at my dads house when we visited, whilst her daughters both kept their comfy double beds in their own rooms!
Her eldest daughter has two sons and we count how many seconds she can last in a conversation before she slips something in about how wonderful E is or how fabulous a mummy J is!!!!
For birthdays, she buys huge gifts for her daughters kids whilst mine are lucky to get a card!!!

My stepmum was definately jealous of me and my fathers relationship even to the point of when he was dying, I drove 5 hours to say goodbye, only to have her refuse to leave the room to give me 5 minutes alone with him!! What did she think I was going to say to him, he was in a coma for gods sake!!! She always eavesdropped on our conversations just in case I was poisoning him against her!!!

If I had my time with him again, I would push harder for a relationship with him AWAY from her influence. Maybe you shouldn't let her win like I did?