I dont want to be bitter

Discussion in 'Miscarriage Support' started by mibs, Jun 1, 2011.

  1. mibs

    mibs New Member

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    I had a silent miscarrage early this year. It wasn't a planned pregnancy but my boyfriend and I decided we could do it together, we started getting excited and preparing for the baby. When I went for my first scan and discovered the miscarriage it was devastating for us. Everyone at work knew I was pregnant so going back was heart breaking.

    Less than a month after my miscarriage a female collegue from my team began trying for a baby. My team is entirely female, so every convasation was about names, clothes and babys. These convosations happened when I was sat a desk next to them all and they would try to involve me in them. She got pregnant after two weeks and I hoped that the baby talk would die down; when I was pregnant no-one wanted to talk about it, but everyone wants to congratulate her and talk babies. I've heard people comment on how 'it's her turn to be pregnant', and that she needs to be more careful than I was

    We get along well but I feel like her timing was so cruel, and her pregnancy means more than mine did to my work collegues. I'm desperately trying not to be jealous and bitter but it's so difficult and don't know how I'll cope when she begins to show. I feel like I'm a bad person, has anyone else been though anything similar?
     
  2. twinkle458

    twinkle458 Mum to Charlie & 2 Angels

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    Hi Mibs

    Welcome to B&B. i'm so very sorry for your loss :hugs:.

    The way you are feeling is completely normal - i lost my first baby in 2008 and couldn't bear to be around anyone with kids or see new mums with babies. I felt very angry about everything and couldn't understand why my colleagues weren't bothered.

    Its probably safe to say that they are doing the best they can. most people still avoid talking about the loss of a baby for fear of saying the wrong thing, or upsetting you. Try and invlove yourself in the conversations and talk about your pregnancy if you can. That way they will see that its ok to broach the subject and may talk about things with you more.

    If you don't want to talk about it or aren't friendly enough with your colleagues, just try and focus on the people you are close to.

    I know what a hard time you are having, and am sending you massive hugs. The loss never leaves you and you will always remember your angel baby, but it will get easier :hugs::hugs::hugs:
     
  3. Justkeeptryin

    Justkeeptryin Mum at last

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    Hugs to you xx I know how your feeling. I feel terrible that I cant be around my pregnant sister in law, shes never even acknowledged both of my miscarriages and it hurts. I feel terrible like a jealous and bitter person but I think that its normal to feel this way for a while. It just seems like life is so unfair and you do end up thinking "why me" and not someone else . My first M/C was difficult but this one has left me hurting so much x
     
  4. seasidetides

    seasidetides Active Member

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    I'm so sorry for you loss :hugs:
    The very same thing happened to me. I was in high school at the time and there were a LOT of girls in my class who were pregnant. It's an awful feeling, I know. I hope things get easier dear, sending much love your way!
     

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