i failt to see what i done wrong....advice please (o/t)

[Mumtobe1985]

my dp moved in with me 2 weeks ago and we have got on great on monday we went over to his mams had a laugh and carry on, but at the minute he goes to his dad every day which i understand as he is prob missing home.

i really needed him to take me to work on monday to take my sick note in but he had already made plans with his dad which p's me off a little as i pay half towards that car and i never get asked if i need to do anything before he makes plans.........

.....anyway yesterday i wasnt feeling to well at all we took my sick note across to work and then came home and i asked him what he would like for tea as i didnt feel well i wouldnt be eating but was still willing to make his tea even tho he can cook himself, i made him sausage and chips and then we sat and watched the big bro winners come dine with me which we had recorded and we were laughing and giggling on, then the footy came on later and i went in the bedroom because i cant stand the stuff and then after the footy he seemed to be in a mood i asked him 4 or 5 times what was up and he said nothing

only for us to go to bed later for him to tell me he was p***ed off with me as i had been distant for 3 days!!!! i said i hadnt we had been having a laugh for days and yes admittedly i probably wasnt my smily self yesterday with not being well but i didnt think i was distant and for him to be alright with me one minute and then when i am in the bedroom be totaly in a mood with me when i couldnt have done anything to p*** him off i fail to see what i done wrong and it had me crying my eyes out last night when he was sound asleep thinking i was being distant with him when i didnt mean to...........

.....to top this all off he has txt me this morning after going to work to tell me he is off to his dads again tonight not to do him anything to eat as he will get something there, mean i am eating on my own after waking up this morning to find all his dishes to wash etc off last night and his x-box stuff all over how do i approach this without sounding like a b*** by telling him i know i said he could see his dad anytime but every day after work is a bit much???? sorry for this being so long just sooo upset xx

 

[meggabear]

aww sweety he is probably mistaking the feeling ill as being distant, as preggo's we tend to get more quiet and lethargic at times and it just cannot be helped. You may need to explain to him that we are going to have our energetic peaks and our low lethargic peaks,and to ask him not to take it so personal and if he is worried to talk to you right then and there instead of letting it fester like that. As for being over at his fathers every night after work, that is a bit much, and I understand how you would be concerned stepping over boundaries as it is family and not friends, but he should also understand that you need him too, and ask gently if he wouldn;t mind toning down the visits so you can spend more time with him doing other activities. and about leaving messes, mine leaves em behind too, but I know he's at work all day so I just put up with it, but just wait for a calm quiet time to casually bring it up, don;t have a drawn out conversation on it, but just mention or ask if it would be ok if he could at least pick up a tad bit more, as you are feeling more lethargic as of late and tell him it would reallyhelp you out, talk in a positive note and it should be alright best of luck!

 

[babythinkpink]

It is really hard living with someone, it is about you both getting used to it, and working around each other, and when you are pregnant is not the best time to find out how he is to live with!
I think he may miss home but my dh is 40 and still seems a bit tied to his mothers apron strings, i think it is just something you have to get used to and hope as time goes by he gradually cuts the home visits down.
He at least spoke to you about how he felt, and like has been said he is mixing up the pregnancy thing for being distant. You could just try and explain how you feel too, and how he is reading it wrong, but its all about getting to know each other in a new situation, also worth mentioning how well you thought it had been going!
As for his mess, this also is just a man thing, my dh leaves his crap everywhere, crisp packets, cups, etc, but expects everyone else to clean their stuff up!
You can do one of 2 things! Clear it up and get used to it! Leave it and say your mess your cleaning.
I will say the latter method not particually effective, i find it easier to just pick it up to avoid an argument.
Relationships are as equal as they can be but i still find its the women who have to take the grown up stuff on, boys will always be boys!

 

[MrsNovBaby]

It is a huge learning curve living with someone full time. It is always really hard to start off with - esp as you have a little one on the way and are not feeling well. Hang in there, and lots of hugs xx