I feel awful :'(

[Eliza_V]

I thought I had this BFing thing cracked. But the last few days (as posted on another thread) LO is getting really fussy, wanting to feed more often, but is refusing the breast and it's a nightmare to get her to latch on She just screams at it, headbutts it, sucks once or twice then does it all over again! Even when I get letdown, she's still rejecting it. She'll come off repeatedly during the feed either to cry or just play around on the nipple, and wriggle around.

I thought it was a growth spurt given the amount of time she was wanting to be on the breast and how often she was demanding to be fed, but why would she keep rejecting the breast, even when I know she's hungry as she's refused to feed before? I don't get engorged anymore like I used to either, so I was wondering if I didn't have enough milk? I tried pumping inbetween feeds, eating things like porridge and staying hydrated, and putting her to the breast whenever she wanted it but it's made no difference, she's just getting more frustrated

She does get the odd bottle of EBM, as I'm building up a stash for Saturday when I'm on a course and the milk in the fridge needed to be used, so she got one a night while I pumped in place of that feed. Yesterday I didn't give her it, as I was worried she was preferring the bottle, but she has had bottles of EBM from very early on and ahs never had any nipple confusion, so why would it set in now?

I went to the GP twice to be checked for thrush, but when I rang her today I explained what was happening (and said I didn't want her to drop centiles on the chart again - she did the other week because she'd been being sick all week and the HVs jumped on it ) and she said "have you considered giving her a bottle?" I went in to see her, she said there wasn't thrush on my nipples or in her mouth, she wasn't teething, and that she probably just "wasn't satisfied" and that I didn't have enough milk for her anymore. I asked how that was even possible (going on about supply and demand etc) and she said it "just happens" and "some women just don't make enough" but there was "no way to tell" I asked if there was anything I could take to increase my supply (expecting her to say domperidone) and she said no! And then kept plugging top-ups. I can't exclusively express as I don't get enough in one go for a decent feed (she's a hungry madam!) but I don't want to give her the bottle either as I know we'd be on that downward spiral

I feel like such a failure, and am at a complete loss of what to do. It was mortifying when I was trying to feed her today (in public, so embarrasing enough) in front of some of the girls from my NCT antenatal group.. And she jsut kept pulling off and screaming, and I don't know how many people I flashed my boob to. Then I was getting so worked up, with LO crying, I couldn't even do up the harness on her carseat and had to get someone to help me, and I was even struggling to put her jacket on! I feel like a failure as a mother

ETA: I feel even worse because it was going so well before. Her latch was perfect (I still had two weeks of me crying at some feeds as my nipples were so sore though), she was gaining weight brilliantly (only lost 50g of her birthweight), and at the beginning I had so much milk I didn't know what to do with it! What changed?

 

[stardust599]

Just bumping this up for you hoping that an expert will spot it xx

 

[gingerbaby4us]

I don't have any good advice but I didn't want to read and run. It seems like such a long time ago that DD was that young, I remember she nursed all day and night and cried tons. If breastfeeding is really important to you I would say keep trying, I know it is very difficult right now, but as your child develops over the next few weeks she will become more efficient at feeding.

BTW, I love the quote you have on your signature, it warms my heart.

 

[summer rain]

Its totally normal for your supply to settle by this stage hence engorgement stopping; and babies do behave weirdly during growth spurts-its like they don't need that milk right now but they know they will need it later. Also its possible what you think is an undersupply; is an oversupply/overactive let down; most times when ladies think its a problem of not enough milk or a slow let down-the opposite is true, this could also explain the pulling off when the letdown comes. Is there a BF support team in your area because you really need one to one, proper support, also it may sound drastic but I feel you should complain about the GP not only have they not been helpful regarding the possible thrush but they have undermined BF and pushed formula for no reason whatsoever xx

 

[kerrie24]

I would look for a bf support group and go there,whenever the nurse /gp doesnt have an answer for a bf mother,they always seem to end up saying you dont have enough.Its just easier than saying 'sorry I dont know what could be wrong'!

You are completely right,if you have bf on demand from birth there is absolutly no reason why you would suddenly have no supply.
It sounds like a growth spurt where they get fussy and unsettled.You could use a cover for a while which would save you flashing everyone and might settle baby if she cant see as much.

 

[Bumpontherun]

I don't have a huge amount of experience in this area but my first thought was oversupply. Sally has been doing a fair amount of this the last few dayss and I have tons of milk even though I am no longer engorged. When she gets agitated as you describe I take her off, put her over my shoulder and wind her. Then I sit her on my knee or even give her to DH until we've both calmed down, the headbutting and shrieking can last up to half an hour especially at night but if I stay calm and persevere she usually takes a feed eventually.

I had low supply last time so having milk gushing everywhere is a bit of a shock to me but I've read a few times that you can try hand expressing off a few mls before you start the feed so LO isn't getting the full force of your let down. I read something else about trying nipple shields to decrease your flow. I agree with the other ladies though - I think you should speak to someone who actually knows what they are talking about rather than your clearly rubbish GP before doing somethung drastic like giving formula. I really don't think it sounds like your milk has gone though.

Please keep us updated

 

[Eliza_V]

Thans so much everyone. As it happens, she decided to end the strike about 1am this morning! She fed again at 4 (unlike her) then was awake again at 6, so I hope that doesn't continue.. Lol. Thanks for the encouragement to carry on, it was a close call there Screw the GP! xx

 

[patch2006uk]

Glad things are a bit better

Just wanted to say, nipple confusion can be late onset. It's not usually one bottle and then everything goes to pot, but bottles introduced too early can cause LO to become nipple confused later on. It's more a cumulative effect - the more you give, the worse it could get. If you can possibly stop giving bottles after Saturday, at least for a little while, and spend some time making sure her latch is perfect every time, you should be able to get things back on track latch-wise.

And I agree with Summer Rain. Complain about your GP. Medical professionals wouldn't get away with giving out incorrect information on any other subject, so why let BFing suffer just because they're ill educated?

 

[summer rain]

I was going to say that about the nipple confusion as well; I've seen a lot of cases just on here where a baby given bottles in the first few weeks seems ok at first but then starts developing a real preference for the bottle considerably later on. xx