I feel awkward

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by Gypsy_Punk, Dec 16, 2009.

  1. Gypsy_Punk

    Gypsy_Punk Mummy to 3 angels

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2009
    Messages:
    1,619
    Likes Received:
    0
    Theres a girl on my floor at work who was a bit less pregnant than me...I am 17 weeks and she was about 14, she lost her baby...

    She has been off work for a week and is now back and she keeps avoiding where I sit and walking the other way round the office.

    She keeps looking at my bump and I feel awkward.

    I don't really know her if you know what I mean, she just works on the same floor as me and is someone who I can say "hi" to but thats about it.

    What would you do/feel in this situation?

    x
     
  2. Miss_Bump

    Miss_Bump Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2009
    Messages:
    7,564
    Likes Received:
    47
    Aww hun sorry you feel that way and so sorry for your colleague :hugs:

    Honestly i dont think there is anything you can do with something like this.

    Obviously people need time to grieve for their loss but it must be hard for her knowing your expecting something that she lost :hugs:

    I dont think i really have any advice here and i think im rambling but just give her time and im sure she will come around :hugs:
    xx
     
  3. hopeforamirac

    hopeforamirac Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2009
    Messages:
    6,893
    Likes Received:
    0
    I would totally feel the same way as you do.

    Im sorry to hear of he loss :( Life can be so cruel at times.

    There isnt really anything you can do but i no when my sister miscarried she didnt want me avoiding her and asked me to act normal around her :hugs:
     
  4. lisa9999

    lisa9999 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2009
    Messages:
    2,540
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'd feel exactly the same hon.
    When I told everyone I was preg when I was 12 wks, my sister had just found out she was preg too (8 weeks) but had a miscarriage a week later.
    I felt terrible for ages, but she handled it ok (prob better than I did, I actually felt guilty for some stupid reason)
    Not sure what you can do so that was probably a bit of a pointless post, sorry!
     
  5. Gypsy_Punk

    Gypsy_Punk Mummy to 3 angels

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2009
    Messages:
    1,619
    Likes Received:
    0
    It happened when I was off sick so I wasn't here for the "full impact" of the situation, I only came back yesterday, think it was a few weeks ago and she has been off recovering and not sure when she came back to work...it must be awful for her, I am not the only pregnant girl on this floor.
     
  6. Emx

    Emx Mum/Cautiously pregnant

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2009
    Messages:
    1,675
    Likes Received:
    0
    The same thing happened to me when i was about 8 weeks pregnant and a friend who was about the same had a miscarriage.... its a really awkward place to be. In the miscarriage and loss section on here there is a sticky that advises what to say and what not to say written by those who have lost babies - I dont know if that might give you some tips?

    At the end of the day, you cant feel guilty for having your bump still and she wont hold that against you xx
     
  7. trying4#1

    trying4#1 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2009
    Messages:
    580
    Likes Received:
    0
    i dont know if my experience will help, but when i returned to work after my loss at 5.5 mths, there were women that i did not know beforehand were actually preg but obviously found out when i saw their bumps and they were expecting at the same time as i would have been. it was difficult to talk to them but they broke the ice by speaking to me normally and saying "i am sorry for your loss", i then found it easier to bite the bullet and talk with them, i was able to think to myself "i will be preg again and you will be cleaning baby's bums!"...but to be honest, this was only possible for me to do around 3 mths after my loss. please dont be surprised if it takes her time to small talk with you. i would say, for now, dont avoid her, but dont be in her face without reason either, just be your normal self, acknowledge her loss (IF that is what others in the office are also doing - she may have told HR she wants noone to mention it, find out from a trustworthy colleague first!), and the rest is up to her...i remembered thinking that it was not just myself but my colleagues that were in a difficult position when i returned to work, cos there really is nothing "right" you can say when one suffers a loss like that x
     
  8. Shady_R

    Shady_R Mum of 3 boys and 1 girl

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2009
    Messages:
    3,312
    Likes Received:
    0
    There isnt a lot you can do really, these situations are the worst I think, my friends suffered a mc last year and they are finding it hard now with me being pregnant still, I just try not to talk to them about it too much and only talk about it if they ask. You may find she will be once she has worked through her grief she will go back to before.....There isnt a lot you can do though, but it deff makes things awkward though.....
     
  9. kermie219

    kermie219 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2009
    Messages:
    2,690
    Likes Received:
    0
    oh hun don't feel bad:( Loosing a baby is such a horrible thing to go thru and that was pretty late too:( she just needs some time to grieve there is nothing really you can do at the moment. It will be ok. Big hugs!!!!!!!
     
  10. natasja32

    natasja32 Mum to 4 boys

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2009
    Messages:
    7,990
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hey lovely...Im so sorry about how your feeling. :hugs: When we lost Bodhi,my sil gave birth two months after to a little girl. And for me it was extremely difficult. There isnt anything you can do lovely. You are both hurting in different ways,iykim? I tried to avoid pregnant woman too,but not because i hated them,it was just a part of grieving for me sweetie. Please dont feel bad that you are pregnant. It wasnt your fault. And when she has done her grieving for her baby she wont "ignore" you anymore lovely. Im sorrry im so rubbish with words. I hope this didnt come out wrong and you could sort of understand what i was trying to say.:blush: Lovely to have you back!!:hugs::hugs:
     
  11. cking

    cking Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2008
    Messages:
    739
    Likes Received:
    0
    When i miscarried in may i was gutted and had to watch other pregnant women walking about and it broke my heart. I avoided ppl as i couldn't deal with it, netherless i was still happy for them. I don't have any advice from your point of view but i would just say don't take it personally as she's probably just hurting x x x
     
  12. Gypsy_Punk

    Gypsy_Punk Mummy to 3 angels

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2009
    Messages:
    1,619
    Likes Received:
    0
    I just think...I dunno, she might think "It's not fair I lost mine and she has 3" does that make sense?

    Apparently she fell over cos she passed out and the hospital said her passing out and falling over might have done the damage which I think is a horrible thing to say to someone, you cant help passing out!

    It doesn't help that I am a bit like the office freak cos I am the first person in the company to have triplets, sometimes I try and have a "non pregnant day" for a bit of normality around work/friends and someone always refers to it and I feel like saying "I'm more than just pregnant you know!!" and I keep trying to change the subject if someone talks about it when she is near/passing by
     
  13. debgreasby

    debgreasby Happy Mummy!

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2009
    Messages:
    5,538
    Likes Received:
    0
    There's not much you can do hunni.
    I am about to lose my baby and i have a good friend who is due in march. I told her what was happening the other day coz i didn't want her to think i was avoiding her if i was having a bad day.
    Give her a smile and say hi when you see her. Let her come to you in her own time.
     
  14. Gypsy_Punk

    Gypsy_Punk Mummy to 3 angels

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2009
    Messages:
    1,619
    Likes Received:
    0
    :) Thanks girls, sorry to hear about your losses. I miscarried at 7 weeks in Feb but didn't really know I was pregnant, just thought my period was late and had 3 negative tests before a positive and I was upset but I hadn't got used to the idea so it was easier for me to deal with then.

    xxxx
     
  15. v2007

    v2007 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2008
    Messages:
    28,554
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ive been there, its awful being jealous and envious but it does get easier.

    She is probabaly grieving and very sad.

    Just give her time and she will more than likely come to you when she is ready.

    V xxxx
     
  16. Louise N

    Louise N Guest

    There's not a lot you can do it's a horrible situation to be in. One of hubbys relatives lost her baby a couple of months ago and she was about a month behind me. It's been very awkward especially as i'm very much showing now and people keep mentioning my pregnancy infront of her but although I don't try to hide the fact i'm pregnant I try not to flaunt it in their faces.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice