I feel jealous and selfish, and I hate it!

[mamawanabe21]

I officially hate the person TTC is turning me into.
SIL has just let us know she's in labour, and baby will be here shortly if the speed of the labour progressing atm is anything to go by; tonight or tomorrow at latest.
Fantastic, right?
So why am I so jealous that I'm finding it so hard to be happy for her?I burst into tears and I know it's selfish, but I'm just frustrated and can't get past the envy because we've been TTC for so damn long now, and it's just not happening.
Probably doesn't help that two of my BFF's have just had a baby, my brother's gf had my nephew a couple of weeks ago...there're babies everywhere. Everywhere but my uterus, that is.
Eurgh.
I think I'm officially a bad person.

 

[TexasRider]

I totally understand and get where you are coming from. My daughter is 4 already and we have been Ttc for over a year now for number 2. I've had sooooo many of my friends and relatives get pregnant and have babies it's not even funny. I'm ready for my turn dang it!

I try to be happy for them and I am happy just sad for myself that I can't seem to conceive another baby.

 

[Geebug x]

You aren't a bad person. I've cried every single one of our friends pregnancy announcements, I'm ashamed to say.
You can't control how you feel sometimes and it does hurt when it's happening to everyone buy you.
Huge hugs - I know it isn't much help but I know how you feel and its horrible xxxx

 

[mamawanabe21]

Thank you ladies.
I can't tell OH how I feel because he doesn't understand. He wants a baby so bad, and I feel like I'm totally failing him. Eurgh.
I am happy for SIL. I'm just deflated that yet again, it's another BFN this month.

But thank you both for making me feel like I am not alone.

 

[Stargazer33]

Hi mamawanabe21 I just wanted to pop by and say im sorry that you feel this way but hun you're not a bad person even if you get jealous When you want this so badly it's hard to feel happy for others, I totally get it
How long have you guys tried to conceive? Have you seen a doctor to know why you have a hard time to get pregnant?
Myself have just had a miscarriage and I was told to start baby aspirin 81 mg a day to support the uterus and ovaries, it's suppose to get more blood flow to the area so the egg gets more to attach to other than that I take folic acid every morning.
Let me know if you wanna be buddies, im here if you need to talk
Where in the UK are you from? Im originally from Norway but live in the United states

Big hugs and chin up, we will get pregnant, I know we will!!

 

[mod19]

I'm sorry . I think all of us who've been ttc for a long time feel that exact same way. It doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you a human being with feeling gs and emotions. I know how you feel with not being able to talk to dh about it, but I guarantee if you do tell him how you feel, you will feel better. I held everything in for so long, went in and got help, lost one (even more frustrating), but did get pregnant again right away and everything worked out fine. Sometimes just letting the stress off your shoulders is just enough.