I feel like a horrible person....sometimes...

Discussion in 'TTC After A Loss' started by beth30, Jan 24, 2011.

  1. beth30

    beth30 2 Rainbow Boys and Preggo

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    Hello. This is my first post. I am Momma to an almost 4 year old boy named Aaron. I thank my lucky stars for him everyday. I MC right before him, and twice after. Both the last part of 2010. The thing I want to write about is jealousy. I am not a jealous person...normally. But each time I have MC, pregnant women have been in my face....they're popping up everywhere. I try to be happy for them, and some of them I truly am happy for, but others...ohhhhhhhh, the others. There are 2 ladies, and 1 younger girl who I despise... and normally I like them really well. As soon as I found out they were pregnant, I totally had a change of heart. I was GREEN with jealousy... and still am. I never want anyone to have to go through MC. It's a hard thing to deal with, and I will always remember the feeling I got. So why is it so hard to be happy for those girls, who have never mistreated me in any way, and who probably want their babies just as much as I wanted mine?
     
  2. Gem09

    Gem09 Well-Known Member

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    Hi Beth
    I totally know what you mean!! Since my miscarriage almost 6 weeks ago, i have had 2 ladies tell me they are pregnant even though they know what happend to me! I cant even bring myself to speak to them yet, im not a jealous person either but when i see a pregnant women my heart sinks and i start thinking that could of been me with a bump! I suppose its just our hormones!

    Take Care hun, they is hope for us all xxx
     
  3. beth30

    beth30 2 Rainbow Boys and Preggo

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    I don't know if its hormones for me... although recent, its been some time since my last MC. All I know is that I try to stay hopeful. I just had a visit from AF, and I plan to try again this cycle, I am so nervous that if I do succeed in getting pregnant, what if I can't carry the baby... my new doctor says that I've had a string of bad luck. I hope my luck changes...because I really don't want to hate people for getting to create life and love. Thanks so much for commenting. Take Care.
     
  4. Gem09

    Gem09 Well-Known Member

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    Just keep thinking positive hun! Im still waiting for my period (im very impatient), wish it would hurry up, i want a baby for xmas!

    Like you though, when we do try again i will be worried if i cant carry the baby, i cant bare the thought of going through a miscarriage again!!

    Sending Good Luck your way!

    XXX
     
  5. Maze

    Maze Expecting 4th, 2 Angels

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    You are totally normal and not a horrible person at all. I feel the exact same way. I lost my baby in October and at the same time I found out I was pregnant my cousin (very close) also became pregnant as did my ex-husband (father of my son)'s new girlfriend.

    So I have had to watch them grow happily as I would, and in one case give my son the sibling I couldn't. :/ It is agony, and I get mad and jealous even though I wouldn't really wish an MC upon them either.

    It doesn't feel fair, you wonder why it had to be you, and that is normal.
     
  6. deshka

    deshka Mother of 1 and 1 angel

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    being stalked
     
  7. Duffy

    Duffy Well-Known Member

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    IT normal to feel that why I also feel the same sometimes, I can't stand watching shows where a character is pregnant.
     
  8. beth30

    beth30 2 Rainbow Boys and Preggo

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    ummmm... what are you talking about?
     

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