Tanara
Taye and Fayths Mommy
- Joined
- Jun 15, 2010
- Messages
- 2,480
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I dont know how to deal with this situation, I feel like this is to much to handle and like im going to crumble. I try to keep eating but I have no appetite, which I have only ever had one while pregnant. I have not been able to sleep which when I get stressed out I know im not going to get any rest because my mind doesn't stop. I've been getting migraines from a combination of the stress and well crying. and to top it off I'm super sick. I dont know how much more my body can handle. And I'm mad that their dad isn't even helping at all. Okay so were not together, that doesn't mean that I bear allll of the responsibility and have to do it all with noone to help, while hes sitting at his buddys house (with OUR big screen tv and xbox) relaxing, and playing video games.
I hate that he calls me hunny and babe, even after I asked him to stop because I feel like he is making this so much harder. It's like hes PMSing. One minute he is telling me about his plans for the future (which dont include me or this family) and the next hes saying he misses being here and misses me. I feel so helpless right now, I love him and it isnt just loving him as a boyfriend or the father of my child, he was my bestfriend, the one person I told everything to. Everyone keeps telling me not to talk to him but he talks to me and I just cant ignore him, I miss him.
He makes me so mad because he expects to come here every night after work to see the kids, but its like he punches me in the stomach. He just keeps re opening my wonders watches me struggle to not break down then hugs me and thinks that makes it better. We've never gone more than an hour or two not talking so it makes it so hard for either of us not to talk.
I'm so worn down I dont think i can keep doing this, with them being sick on top of everything and it being a struggle to get Fayth to sleep, then as soon as shes asleep Taye wakes her up. I cant hold all of this shit together and try and fight for this family all on m own.
And I text him and tell him I cant handle this, and whats going on with the kids and what does he say.... "I'm really sorry Tanara" Well how about you shove your sorry up your arse and come help take care of your fucking daughter, I wasn't the only one who brought her into this world, I didn't promise forever and a day and walk away when she hit two months. I dont deserve to have to be the one to pick up all of the pieces and try and hold everything together and be this big strong person. If i didn't love my kids more than anything this would be the fucking perfect time to start drinking (although unlike Fayths dad I cant do that)
I dont know what to do at all, I feel like just giving up but I cant because I have to kids I have to take care of. they only have responsible parent. I wish her dad would grow a fucking sack and get his ass over her and be a god dam man and take care of his fucking responsibilities instead of acting like a stupid little prick.