I feel like I'm not cut out for being a proper mum

[whattoexpect]

It amazes me how people say 1-2 is easier than 0-1, no way. It's way harder! When you have the one yes it's a shock to the system but you've only got them to focus on. When you've got two it's way more demanding when they're both crying at the same time or you're feeding and the older one suddenly announces they need a poo and you have to stop what you're doing and the baby starts screaming. Or they're both poorly with colds and rubbing snot all over you while the baby spews up all over himself and you, and the toddler has pooed in her pants and is crying. Or you're trying to get baby down for a nap and the toddlers pestering you going on about fixing a toy or demanding snacks or has accidentally pressed the remote control and has gone off CBeebies onto the news channel and is having a hissy fit because of it and won't give you any time to settle the baby! Sometimes i feel like I'm going mad. I'm like a rabbit in the headlights like is this for real? Like really for real? Shall I laugh or cry? Because I feel like I'm slowly going insane here! So you're not alone!

I LOVE this! And exactly accurate!
My eldest is in daycare 5 days a week from 7-4 and I am still barely hanging on some days.

My dd2 is a cat napper and usually sleeps in 30 min bursts maybe 2 or 3 times a day. She is still waking at least once a night for a bottle as well.

The only thing keeping me off a ledge is the knowledge and experience that this is all temporary and in a couple months when she is more mobile things get much easier as she can entertain herself.

So do I have have time or will to clean and have dinner ready every night. Heck no....but I don't think it's a contest. We all do the best we can and we all have our struggles.

We are here to support each other!

Lots of love to all mommas

 

[jodilee6]

It amazes me how people say 1-2 is easier than 0-1, no way. It's way harder! When you have the one yes it's a shock to the system but you've only got them to focus on. When you've got two it's way more demanding when they're both crying at the same time or you're feeding and the older one suddenly announces they need a poo and you have to stop what you're doing and the baby starts screaming. Or they're both poorly with colds and rubbing snot all over you while the baby spews up all over himself and you, and the toddler has pooed in her pants and is crying. Or you're trying to get baby down for a nap and the toddlers pestering you going on about fixing a toy or demanding snacks or has accidentally pressed the remote control and has gone off CBeebies onto the news channel and is having a hissy fit because of it and won't give you any time to settle the baby! Sometimes i feel like I'm going mad. I'm like a rabbit in the headlights like is this for real? Like really for real? Shall I laugh or cry? Because I feel like I'm slowly going insane here! So you're not alone!

Have you been spying on my household?!

This sums up my average day, tho with extra vomit as DS2 is a reflux baby so covers at least himself if not me and DS1 as well most feeds

 

[AngelofTroy]

Ahh this is scaring me though.. I have to believe 2 children will be easier than 1 toddler and a pregnancy with hyperemesis.. Please!

 

[izzlesnizzle]

It amazes me how people say 1-2 is easier than 0-1, no way. It's way harder! When you have the one yes it's a shock to the system but you've only got them to focus on. When you've got two it's way more demanding when they're both crying at the same time or you're feeding and the older one suddenly announces they need a poo and you have to stop what you're doing and the baby starts screaming. Or they're both poorly with colds and rubbing snot all over you while the baby spews up all over himself and you, and the toddler has pooed in her pants and is crying. Or you're trying to get baby down for a nap and the toddlers pestering you going on about fixing a toy or demanding snacks or has accidentally pressed the remote control and has gone off CBeebies onto the news channel and is having a hissy fit because of it and won't give you any time to settle the baby! Sometimes i feel like I'm going mad. I'm like a rabbit in the headlights like is this for real? Like really for real? Shall I laugh or cry? Because I feel like I'm slowly going insane here! So you're not alone!

Have you been spying on my household?!

This sums up my average day, tho with extra vomit as DS2 is a reflux baby so covers at least himself if not me and DS1 as well most feeds

Ds is a reflux baby too! I've been almost constantly covered in sick for the past 10 months!

 

[jodilee6]

It amazes me how people say 1-2 is easier than 0-1, no way. It's way harder! When you have the one yes it's a shock to the system but you've only got them to focus on. When you've got two it's way more demanding when they're both crying at the same time or you're feeding and the older one suddenly announces they need a poo and you have to stop what you're doing and the baby starts screaming. Or they're both poorly with colds and rubbing snot all over you while the baby spews up all over himself and you, and the toddler has pooed in her pants and is crying. Or you're trying to get baby down for a nap and the toddlers pestering you going on about fixing a toy or demanding snacks or has accidentally pressed the remote control and has gone off CBeebies onto the news channel and is having a hissy fit because of it and won't give you any time to settle the baby! Sometimes i feel like I'm going mad. I'm like a rabbit in the headlights like is this for real? Like really for real? Shall I laugh or cry? Because I feel like I'm slowly going insane here! So you're not alone!

Have you been spying on my household?!

This sums up my average day, tho with extra vomit as DS2 is a reflux baby so covers at least himself if not me and DS1 as well most feeds

Ds is a reflux baby too! I've been almost constantly covered in sick for the past 10 months!

It's horrible isn't it! DH kissed me the other day and commented on how nice I smelt, he asked if I was wearing perfume, truth is I'd just had a shower and didn't smell of sick!

 

[emyandpotato]

Thank you all

 

[Leo_Mumma]

Dinner on the table for 5!? Don't believe the lies lol. I see Mum's in the street with new-born's who have perfect hair, nails done, looking care free and I'm lucky to have matching shoes on! I I'm constantly catching up on something ( never sleep though ) I have a 7 month old and my 13 year old brother lives with me.. i find looking after the OH more of a challenge though!

 

[Larkspur]

Everyone I know says two is so easy. That their house is always clean and tea is always on the table by 5.

LOL, what?! Those people are either pathological liars, headed for a nervous breakdown or have vastly different definitions of "easy", "clean" and "5pm" to the ones I have.

The early months of two are so hard. I felt it took till 7-8 months, when we were down to 2 naps (and baby would sleep in her cot for them) before I felt I was getting a bit of a handle on it.

 

[Zephram]

I read many posts on this board prior to having number two where people insinuated that going from 1-2 was no big deal. Bollocks, all! It's twice the work, twice the mess, twice the crying, twice the poo, twice the wee and twice the puke. It's also twice the stress and two thousand times the guilt.

I have a four month old too and it's tough every day right now. I actually found the first few weeks easier than right now as DS2 was in that newborn sleep daze and would sleep through my DS1 screaming like a banshee and jumping off the couch. Alas, no longer. Four month old has woken up to the world and will no longer sleep or breastfeed through three year old being a three year old. So three year old gets plonked in front of the telly multiple times a day so I can take four month old to a dim, quiet room for a feed so he doesn't starve and a sleep so he doesn't loose the plot. So DS1 is watching obscene amounts of TV by himself while I keep DS2 alive. I then get all of 30 mins with DS1 while DS2 sleeps, usually spent by DS1 getting upset I dare turn off the tv and suggest we do something 'fun' together. Resultant tantrum generally wakes the baby. Rinse and repeat.

Or when they both cry and need me at the same time and I have to pick one to tend to first while the other screams like they've been disemboweled.

Or they both poo at the same time and eldest son runs away with poo in his bum threatening to sit on the couch and younger son merrily kicks his heels in his poo because I stupidly undid his nappy.

Or when three year old takes off down the street and I leave four month old in his baby capsule by the side of the road while I run after him.

And between all that , do I have a tidy house? No. Is dinner on the table at 5? Ish. If baked beans and scrambled eggs counts on some days.

Do I look put together? I have clothes on, but I've forgotten what my hairbrush looks like, it's been that long.

I could go on. I'm stressed out and counting it as a victory that we all get out of each day alive. It's not easy having two. You're not alone.

 

[catty]

Don't listen to the people that tell you that!!!! Maybe they are talking about one day out of 7 haha.

We moved house when Evie was 11 months old and since then my house has been clean but never that tidy.
Before we moved everyday was a mess, sometimes dinner was ready but usually not. Tell you the truth I started working evenings when evie was 4 months to get a break!
It does it easier in some ways and harder in others but right now (almost 1.5 & 2.5) apart from toddler tantrums it's alot easier.

 

[Willow82]

As someone who is about to go from 1 to 2, this thread has scared the living daylights out of me. I think I might stay pregnant for the next year instead of giving birth!

 

[jodilee6]

As someone who is about to go from 1 to 2, this thread has scared the living daylights out of me. I think I might stay pregnant for the next year instead of giving birth!

Don't be scared! Yes it's bloody hard work but it's so rewarding.

The days when I want to scream and tear my hair out are made instantly better just watching my two interact, here are a few of my favourite moments..

Youngest was screaming his head off and would not calm down, eldest walked into the room and just said "well what's going on in here then" (total copy of me!) youngest instantly shut up and started smiling, eldest started pulling faces and youngest was laughing his ass off.. From tears to laugher in 10 seconds!

Youngest was fussing and needed a nap but also wanted to be cuddled to sleep while I was trying to cook eldests tea, all goes ominously silent so I stick my head round the door to see eldest stroking youngest head and singing him off to sleep, cue very quick retreat to enjoy 2 minutes quiet!

These 2 boys make my heart melt on a daily basis ❤️

 

[RaspberryK]

Sorry I haven't read all the posts just your first one

Couple of things worth looking into are getting some cranial osteopathy, tongue tie? silent reflux? do you have a local LLL group?

xx