I feel like such a bad mother...

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by RyleighsMommy, Dec 21, 2009.

  1. RyleighsMommy

    RyleighsMommy Mother of 1 and expecting

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    My LO is quite a fussy baby, not sure if its for any other reason then she just is always unhappy bc she is literally always crying. Well lately she has gotten to where when she cries she does this high pitch squeal and throws herself backwards. Ugh I need a break, and my fiancee is in Iraq so I have to do this all by myself. I literally get so frustrated sometimes I just want to put her in her crib and go outside so I cant hear her. :( I dont like feeling this way, but Im having such a hard time coping. I hope Im not the only one that feels this way. :cry:

    Dear Santa:

    For Christmas can I please have some patience....Im all out. :(
     
  2. jojo2605

    jojo2605 Mom to Sam & Dylan

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    Hey Hun, huge hugs to you. It is such hard work when our LOs are so demanding. At the end of the day your only human and no one likes to hear a consistently crying baby, whether it's their baby's or not!!

    Is there no one who can give you some time out? Sounds like you could really do with it?

    Also perhaps there's a specific reason why your LO is so miserable? Could she be teething? My LO is around the same age as yours and is gettin increasingly miserable; but this is coupled with an increased amount of drool and fist/finger sucking? X
     
  3. Foogirl

    Foogirl Baby Abby 11 weeks early

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    Throwing herself back, and arching her back? If so, this is a sign of tiredness. We missed it in the early days with Abby but once we spotted it, it became so much easier!

    Are you making sure she is getting enough sleep? At 3 months most babies should need about 17 hours sleep a day.

    The other thing to look out for is colic, this was definitely Abby's worst time with fussiness.

    It must be really hard to do this alone. I found it hard enough with the support of my husband. You are definitely not alone in feeling that way. Are you getting out to meet other local mothers? Baby massage classes are a great way to meet new people and learn techniques for soothing babies!

    But, and this is important, sometimes you can just put her in her crib and close the door. It really doesn't do them any harm to cry for 5 minutes if you need that time to take a breath and go back to it. The more wound up you are, she will feel it. I've lost count of the number of times I lost patience with Abby and of course, it only made her worse!

    If Santa does send you some patience, any chance I could pinch some too?!!
     
  4. RyleighsMommy

    RyleighsMommy Mother of 1 and expecting

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    Thank you ladies. My mom tries to watch her for me a couple hours a week but it doesnt always work out that way. My younger sister lives with me but she cant be depended upon...she hates dirty diapers and actually makes matters worse at times and will wake her and when she starts crying walks off and goes to her room. Ugh, teenagers. :)

    I do think she is in fact teething as she does do the finger sucking and large amounts of drool...this has been going on for almost a month now. And I am pretty sure she has tummy problems, which I try and treat with Gripe Water. And as far as sleep goes...shes 5mo. and wants to stay up more and more. I do put her down for a nap once a day which last anywhere from 10min - 1hr, just depending I guess. :)

    Maybe its just a combination of everything that has her so fussy.

    Foogirl - if I get some of that patience from Santa, Ill be sure to pass some your way. :)
     
  5. kelseyyy

    kelseyyy Well-Known Member

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    Hey hun I agree with Foogirl about the laying LO in the cot for a few minutes, you ARE only human and humans can only handle so much before they snap, it won't harm her doing so for just a few minutes and will be better in the long run. I too take care of a VERYYYY fussy baby (always always crying...) all alone and I know how rough it can be. Huge hugs to you xx
     
  6. mommy2lilmen

    mommy2lilmen Well-Known Member

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    Aww hun, Im sorry :hugs: It is very hard, especially with Christmas just around the corner, they can sense the hubbub of the season and dont like it at times. My LO does the same shreak and it upsets the other kids. THey ask me why he cries alot, and I dont know what to say to them. I do go outside and look in the air and wish above that he will just settle and sleep for a few. If you have to go outside for a breather, then do it. Few minutes of not hearing her crying will ease you and then you can go back in and deal with her. Your not a bad mother. I feel the same way, and I have other kids who fight and cry between each other. They wake him and then he shreaks again.:dohh: Never ending battle to figure out what is wrong with kids. Its tough being a parent, especially one to be alone and parent like your case. I will send out wishes to Santa for you to.:hugs:
     
  7. lyre

    lyre Well-Known Member

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    you're not a bad mother. i feel the same sometimes, as i'm sure many parents do. you're doing the best you can and thats all we can do x
     
  8. elmaxie

    elmaxie Mummy to Nathan & Hannah.

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    Someone once said to me if baby keeps crying and its getting too much put them in a safe place like cot/crib and walk away and collect yourself.

    They cant hurt themselves in there and have never hurt themselves crying.

    Does she settle when in her buggy out on walks or even send her off to sleep? Would be worth a try if it does.

    Hope things get better.

    Emma.xx
     
  9. Foogirl

    Foogirl Baby Abby 11 weeks early

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    It does sound like she isn't getting enough sleep. Does she sleep through the night? There are various techniques to try in getting them to sleep and nap properly, there is bound to be one which suits you!
     
  10. RyleighsMommy

    RyleighsMommy Mother of 1 and expecting

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    [/QUOTE]
    It does sound like she isn't getting enough sleep. Does she sleep through the night? There are various techniques to try in getting them to sleep and nap properly, there is bound to be one which suits you![/QUOTE]

    She hasnt slept through the night since she was like 2mo old. She wakes every 2-3hours wanting to be fed...my mother says she shouldnt be eating that often, but Im not going to deprive her if shes hungry. She is pretty good about going back to sleep though...USUALLY.
     
  11. BabeeAngel

    BabeeAngel Mummy to Aubrey & Isabel

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    Are you breastfeeding?
    the reason I ask is because I just went through the same thing, I thought I just had a really cranky baby, and that I was a bad mom. But it turned out since I was pregnant again, my milk was slowly running out and she wasn't getting enough milk...she was waking every hour almost in the end... so After three days in the hospital, and having to cut her off cold turkey from my lacking milk supply we finally got her to take the bottle.... It was a heartbreaking 3 days, but she is truly a different baby now... so happy, sleep most of the night, and this is only a week later! With breastfeeding it's so hard to tell if you have a supply or not.
     
  12. RyleighsMommy

    RyleighsMommy Mother of 1 and expecting

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    Nope, not BF...and actually she eats A TON lol so guess I can rule that out :)
     
  13. BabeeAngel

    BabeeAngel Mummy to Aubrey & Isabel

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    I would still talk to your doctor about it... is it something new or has she always been this way?
     
  14. Babydance

    Babydance Well-Known Member

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    it could be sleep! Soph is 6 months sleeps 11 hours a night plus 3 to 5 hours in the day? xx
     
  15. Foogirl

    Foogirl Baby Abby 11 weeks early

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    I agree if they are hungry they should be fed. Are you sure it is hunger though?

    Have you tried settling her down without a feed?
     
  16. Tegans Mama

    Tegans Mama home edding mum of 2

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    It sounds to me like she is tired. She really needs to be sleeping around 14 hours a day at her age. At that age my LO had 2 2hr naps. Maybe try putting her to bed more often.

    And as for the frustration - you are NOT a bad Mum. Being a Mum to a young baby is hard, especially when you have a demanding baby. It wouldn't be wrong of you to put her in her cot when you need a minute, I would do it and I have in the past. As long as she is safe, warm, fed, and clean bummed, if you need a minute, do it.
     
  17. Armywife

    Armywife Mummy to 2 beauties

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    Hi sweetie, firstly i totally understand how hard it is when o/h is on tour, that in itself is a major heartache and difficulty for you which will be adding to your low mood. Nothing compares to the feeling you get when they are deployed, no matter how good an army wife you are or how many times you've done it, its never easy.

    Secondly, i think this could well be, as others said, a sleep problem. Maybe spend a little while trying to figure out how she best gets into a nice sleep, lavendar scents, dark as possible room? Warmer milk than usual before hand? Poppy is 4 months 3 weeks and she sleeps 14 hours a night and about 3 hours in the day. Then again some babies do need less.

    Have you tried the hungrier baby food? Poppy went through a phase where she was unhappy and switching to the 2nd milk helped soooo much. Perhaps worth a try if you've not already?

    You need to be a lot easier on yourself too. Coping alone when they are away is hard enough when you don't have a baby to worry about. Every mum feels she is losing it once in a while (and i don't believe anyone who says otherwise!) You're doing a fab job so don't question your abilities as a mother.

    Have a great Christmas, i hope your o/h has the best one he can have as well xxxxxxx

    If you ever want a chat pm me xxx
     

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