I feel like..

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - First Trimester' started by babystewart, Apr 2, 2011.

  1. babystewart

    babystewart Well-Known Member

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    I feel like I ruined everything. My OH and I got into an argument last night and he wouldn't sleep in our room and he is really pissed at me. I don't know what to do, still having pains in my stomach that everyone is convinced are growing pains, I feel useless because I am pregnant, my OH is being nice he just won't talk to me about the baby, its like he doesn't want the baby anymore.:cry:
     
  2. Perfect_pink

    Perfect_pink Well-Known Member

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    Oh hun its alot to take in for men too give him time and try and then try and talk to him x
     
  3. babystewart

    babystewart Well-Known Member

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    He was fine about it before the argument, and the argument was about something I thought mattered, the pains I was having, everyone was convinced they are growing pains but I didn't think so and I asked him to take me to the hospital and he said that i was overreacting- hes never like this
     
  4. Perfect_pink

    Perfect_pink Well-Known Member

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    If your worried hun he should trust your instincts and he needs to understand that, some times it takes somr one eles to talk some sense into him, do youz have close friends or family that could talk to him about it x
     
  5. BrEeZeY

    BrEeZeY stay at home wifey&&momma

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    my husband does this too and to be honest i think its cause they are afraid something could be wrong and to ignore is alot better than facing it to a man... but like what was said trust ur instincts :)
     
  6. aley28

    aley28 2 boys & a girl <3

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    When I first started bleeding with my miscarriage in February, I was obviously worried, and told DH that I was scared. He said it was probably nothing.

    The next day at the ultrasound, the doctor hardly said anything while he was searching for any signs of a baby, and when he stepped out so I could re-dress, I was almost in tears and told my husband that I didn't have a good feeling about what the doc was about to say, and my husband said, "Oh, knock it off! Its probably fine."

    It made me really mad at the time, but I think it was more that he just didn't know how to handle the situation, so he did is best to console me and himself by trying to convince both of us that everything was just fine.

    The bottom line is that it is your body and not his and you know what you're feeling. If you feel that something is wrong, then go in. Tell him that he can either take you in and be supportive about everything, or he can stay home and be an ass, and you'll go anyway, and then he can go live in the doghouse for a while.

    Or you could say, "This is your child we're talking about! Why don't you want to do everything possible to make sure that she or he is OK?!"

    I know that when my husband gets scared about something, he gets grouchy because he doesn't want to appear "weak" by admitting that he's scared. Maybe that's what's going on.
    :hugs:
     
  7. AshleyNichole

    AshleyNichole mommy to 2 boys!

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    :hugs: hun, go with ur instinct. my husband is the same way. i hope u feel better. are you going to go to hospital?
     
  8. Kasia

    Kasia Well-Known Member

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    I think men have different coping mechanisms than we do. I go through the same thing with mine. He took it really hard when I m/c a year ago, so he's not really showing emotion one way or another now. When I was spotting @ 5 wks he was out and I told him the next day, he got really mad at me for not calling him that night. I said, what were you gonna do, run home? For what, there's nothing you can do. Got in a HUGE fight.
    Then last week midwife didn't hear hearbeat on doppler so I was reallly stressing, and he was so uncaring about it, it really made me mad. He didn't even go for u/s with me the next day (& he's never missed an appt). Thank goodness everything was fine, and all he could say later is that I overreacted.
    I think men turn their fear into anger, at least mine does. Or indifference. When mine is scared or nervous, all we do is fight. It would be so much easier if they would admit their feelings, we wouldn't feel so alone, but that's their defense mechanism.
    I'm sure everything will be just fine, try not to stress and worry
     
  9. babystewart

    babystewart Well-Known Member

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    not going to the hospital because the pains stopped but I got him to agree that if they start again to take me
     
  10. AshleyNichole

    AshleyNichole mommy to 2 boys!

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    that's good. is he acting better now? :hugs:
     
  11. babystewart

    babystewart Well-Known Member

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    Hes still off but better
     
  12. Tarkwa

    Tarkwa Mummy to two boys :) xxx

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    Honestly, bloody men! My DH has been like that in the past before I was PG. I had a kidney stone and was in REAL bad pain (some people say it's worse than childbirth!) and he still kept saying 'it's probably nothing' or 'try and find another position'. I was on the phone to NHS who said to get to the hospital A&E and told me to call an ambulance, so I asked if would take me instead (we are less than 5 mins drive from hospital) and he got angry with me as I made him look bad to NHS direct! WTF?! Anyway, I ended up being admitted to hospital that night after spending several hours in A&E (not waiting, they saw me within 10 mins even though it was heaving!) and having an operation within about 12 hours of being admitted!!! I told him if I'm not well I mean I am not well and there is something very wrong. He's much better now after that incident and I know I'm lucky to married to a man like him as he is looking after me very well right now, but I do know what you mean (in a non-PG kinda way) :hugs:.
    xxx
     
  13. AmandaAnn

    AmandaAnn Twin Mommy

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    How bad are your pains? Are they cramps or more like shooting feelings? If cramps, are they the same/worse than period cramps? I agree you should trust your instincts, but it is totally normal to feel certain things in your belly. I felt a lot of mild cramps early and have felt shooting type sensations (which I think are growing pains) throughout my pregnancy.
     
  14. babystewart

    babystewart Well-Known Member

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    They have subsided now just every now and then.
     
  15. famof6

    famof6 Well-Known Member

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    I agree that pulling pains and af like cramps are normal during pregnancy,but you know your body better than anyone and if something does not feel right you go see the dr.I am glad to hear it is easing up though!
     
  16. sara k

    sara k Well-Known Member

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    i hope everything goes better between you guys...its always a woman who can handle the situation...try to tell him gradually what you guys should do as a parent during and after pregnancy...its our body and we will have to tell them otherwise they will never know whats happening...:shrug:
     
  17. babystewart

    babystewart Well-Known Member

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    I have a feeling hes gonna be a good dad hes been taking care of his little sister since she was practically born.
     

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