I feel so guilty!

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by 3boys, Dec 15, 2009.

  1. 3boys

    3boys Well-Known Member

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    I have booked my 3d gender scan for the 6th of Feb. but i am really worried as I think i will be upset if they tell me its another boy. I know that is terrible and there are so many women who are trying for babies and can't have them and don't get me wrong once the little fella came along I would be head over heels in love with him and wouldn't change him for the world but i can't help praying that this time its a girl. Although this pregnancy is the exact same as the other 3 so I am pretty sure its going to be a boy. How will i stop myself from being upset? I am such a terrible person.
     
  2. Beltane

    Beltane Mother of 3 Boys!

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    You are not alone. I too am hoping for a bit of pink dust my way. Don't feel bad!
     
  3. rensben

    rensben Well-Known Member

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    Don't feel bad hun..it's totally normal to feel that way and you don't have to justify it to anyone. good luck!
     
  4. poppy666

    poppy666 My family Complete x

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    Not a terrible person at all sweetie :hugs: i also have 3 boys and i know this one is my last chance to have a little girl now im 39, i went for my 20wk scan last month and i had my heart set on them saying it was a girl but its another boy and i was dying to cry there and then but held it all day till i broke down that evening :cry:.


    I also felt horrible and so cruel being so upset but i know im not alone in that feeling, but now ive accepted it and thankful he's healthy, even given him the name Korben :dance:.

    Its only natural and dont beat yourself up about it sweetie :hugs::hugs:
     
  5. 3boys

    3boys Well-Known Member

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    Thanks ladies. its not that i feel i have to justify it its just that i dont want to feel like this! I know that every baby is a blessing i just wish i could cop on to myself but i know that i will be a little dissapointed. I always thought i would have a daughter. When i was pregnant with my first the thought of having a boy never even entered my head until i was told. Now 3 adorable boys later i would give anything to have a little princess.
     
  6. 3boys

    3boys Well-Known Member

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    Thanks hun, its nice to know I'm not the only one who has had these feelings. Thats why I am going to pay privately for a gender scan as i would rather have time to adjust to it. When Caleb was born i was sure he was going to be a girl and i was so dissapointed when he came out until i looked at him now i feel so guilty for that. I just didnt want that to happen again.
     
  7. poppy666

    poppy666 My family Complete x

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    I did the same with my last one, was so convinced 3rd time lucky that he would be a girl when he came out i didnt want to hold him for a few minutes and felt disgusted in myself for that, now ive had time with this one to adjust im ok x you will be too and will have time to adjust with this one :hugs:
     
  8. Shady_R

    Shady_R Mum of 3 boys and 1 girl

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    Hello same boat here. Dont feel bad hun, i know what your feeling, i think this one will be my last one and i really am hoping for a girl, i feel a bit wrong for wanting a girl but its only normal to want one or the other, so dont beat your self up over it. Very good idea to have a private scan to get used to the idea if you have bother boy. Sending you some pink dust though for extra luck.
     
  9. 2ndHeartbeat

    2ndHeartbeat Jason 2y;Expecting again!

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    Hey, here's another "I felt the same way" and I felt guilty about it too. Sending you good luck and such, but you know you are blessed either way :)
     
  10. LouLou78

    LouLou78 Mum to 3 gorgeous girls

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    I think your feelings are completely normal. Of course we want a healthy baby regardles of the gender but also we want what we don't have too. I have two girls and secretly would like to have a boy and of course would be happy for a healthy baby girl if it happens to be another pink :)
     
  11. amyw044

    amyw044 Well-Known Member

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    im really hoping for a girl and am worrid how ill react if i find out its a boy. obviously ill love it no matter what but i cant help but want 1 xx
     
  12. chocolate

    chocolate Well-Known Member

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    I already have a ds, and even hearing he was a boy was a little dissapointing, even though he is our first, and we struggled to concieve him and had to have treatment! I was shocked that I was dissapointed, and now with this one I was really hoping for a girl. But I seem to be wanting a girl over a boy less and less.
    I think it is because I keep looking at my close relationship with my son and how cuddly and mummyfied he is - I could have a girl that doesnt want to be anywhere near me and could grow up not really getting on. So somehow I am now looking forward to another boy (not that I know what Im having yet!) and think if Im told Im having a girl, I will have to get my head around that!


    Im also going to be so excited for our ds to have a little brother if it is a boy.

    In-gender website has some great boards for gender dissapoinment - maybe there are some good tips on there.

    I hope things change for you, as I know how horrible it can feel, thinking that way - good luck x
     
  13. hayley x

    hayley x 1AngelSon,1EarthDaughter

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    Sending you pink :dust: although of course what everyone wants is a healthy baby I think everyone has a preference, and after 3 boys I can see why you want a little girl :hugs: Just like I hope if I'm lucky enough to have another baby in the future it will be a boy - I would love a live son, one to be a mummys boy :) and to see grow up :cry: :hugs: xxx
     
  14. 3boys

    3boys Well-Known Member

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    Thanks ladies I just so glad i am not alone. Thanks for your support and like i said even if it is another boy i do realise how blessed i am. and who knows maybe I'm raising the next generations biggest boyband! hehe
     
  15. rwhite

    rwhite Mum to Lachie and Clem

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    Don't feel bad about it hun :flower: there's no reason you should need to justify yourself to anybody xx People who didn't mind either way really have no place to judge, because it was never going to affect them. Same goes for people who got their desired gender.

    I was dead set on having a girlie but it turns out we are having a little boy, and though I love him to pieces, I am always a little worried I won't be getting a daughter after seeing my older sister have three little boys and how much she had desired having a daughter with her third boy.

    It's completely normal to want the gender you don't have, as it would be completely different. It's also completely normal for a woman to want a female child and a man to want a male child :thumbup: You feel you can relate best to them, and therefore bond with them better.

    Keep us posted and congrats on your pregnancy xx :hugs:
     

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