I feel so nasty!!!

BigMumma01

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Hey ladies,

This is abit long..and dunno why i am putting it on here..but you ladies are so understanding and its nice to talk to someone out the situation.

My auntie is coming up for 50 and has now decided she wants babies.. but has found out she cannot have them so has been told she can only adopt..i feel so so sorry for her but also think leaving it till 50 is a bit late ..but guess thats up to her...

Since she found out i was pregnant she has not left me alone, i have never been close with her..just spoke to her at family things.. or christmas etc.. but she has been offering to pay for ostepath sessions for me as she believes they help pregnancy and the baby.. she had a go at me cos i not 100% sure yet if i am going to breastfeed and told me i was hindering my babies development, now getitng so close to my due date she is calling 3/4 times a day... sending me facebook messages...

I went out this morning and left my facebook on..i had 5 messages from her saying...

"where are u?"
"why are u not answering your home phone?"
"Are u in labour?"
"How are u today?"
" Hows baby?"

I actuallly spoke to her yesterday and told her there had been no changes and would get my mum to call her when the baby was born...but she keeps calling..thank god for caller id!!

I am worried that she is getting a little bit obsessive..but dont want to tell her to back off becuase i know it must be tough for her not being able to have babies... but it feels like she is living her pregnancy through me..

God i feel so mean by ignoring her.. but i could have screamed this morning!!
 
is she your mums sister hun or dads..as maybe your mum could have a little word..
xx
 
wow that's kinda creepy. i would be upset too.
 
I think it does sound like he is living through you on this one. Maybe send her a message, and say it's not just her, but a couple of people keep asking you if you in labour etc, and you would appreciate some time to yourself.

I don't think it is fair for her to push her childrearing views on you, I can imagine she would not be bfing if she adopts. And would probably not appreciate you saying "ooh I wouldn't do it like that"

Is she your Mum's sister? Maybe you could have a word with your Mum and see if she can kindly tell her to back off a little?
 
Don't feel nasty, (this may sound blunt) but you're pregnant now, this is your baby, if she's decided at 50 she wants a baby, she can't, that isn't your fault, and she can't try and live your pregnancy if you get me, lol, I'd just ignore her

My aunty is on facebook, and she's always popping up and saying hi, how are you, hows bump, does he wake you up when he kicks you, what does it feel like, etc etc, i just ignore her most of the time!
 
Ooooooooh dear, that would drive me loopy. I know you feel mean telling her to back off but I think you need to for your own piece of mind.

Maybe you could just hint to her rather than straight up telling her like saying something along the lines of "Oooh people are getting on my nerves keep asking if I'm in labour etc" and " Oh god, I feel sooooo smothered by everyone at the moment I wish people would stop asking me"

Hopefully she will take the hint without the bad feelings. xx
 
Thanks for your help ladies..quick update...
My mum spoke to her and told her to back off and my auntie said she thouht she had upset me! However..... It's still not stopped as soon as I log in to facebook she is pinging me instant messages.... She kept calling my home phone the other day and I saw it was her calling so ignored it and she then text me asking where I was!! Then yesterday she asked me for a picture of my bump?!?!?!? And then today she has called my mobile again and left a voicemail asking me to call her for a chat!!I cannot stress enough that this would never normally happen and I have never e er been close with her!!
My mum is having to call her again..my sister thinks she is unhinged!!!!!!
God i feel horrible!!!!
 
I think you did the right thing asking your mum to speak to her. Her behaviour does sound a little worrying, especially as you say you have never been close x
 
goodness, it sure is strange considering that you were never close. You did the right thing - asking your Mum to speak to her. Your aunt is getting too much now..! Don't feel horrible.
 
Yeh it's just getting a bit odd now!!she contacts me every single day!!
 
Every single day? Good grief!!!! She really needs to back off!
 
Thanks for your help ladies..quick update...
My mum spoke to her and told her to back off and my auntie said she thouht she had upset me! However..... It's still not stopped as soon as I log in to facebook she is pinging me instant messages.... She kept calling my home phone the other day and I saw it was her calling so ignored it and she then text me asking where I was!! Then yesterday she asked me for a picture of my bump?!?!?!? And then today she has called my mobile again and left a voicemail asking me to call her for a chat!!I cannot stress enough that this would never normally happen and I have never e er been close with her!!
My mum is having to call her again..my sister thinks she is unhinged!!!!!!
God i feel horrible!!!!

Oh my gosh!! that is scary. Are you worried about it? or are you just annoyed with it, iykwim? xx
 
Oh dear, she sounds a bit scary. I'd be a bit concerned if i were you, she sounds like a stalker. I'd tell her as nicely as possible that you need a bit of space from her. If she's like this now, imagine how she is going to be once the baby is born! Best to set out the ground rules as soon as possible regarding visits and phonecalls. Just say you feel a bit overwhelmed at the moment so could she please back off a bit.
 
That is just invasion of your personal space. She does need to back off and if she doesn't after your mother speaks to her again I think you might need to cut all contact. Try not to feel mean, it's just too much. :hugs: I would hang off on having your mother tell her about the birth once baby is born too in case she shows up unannounced. What a royal pain in the rear end.
 
That is just invasion of your personal space. She does need to back off and if she doesn't after your mother speaks to her again I think you might need to cut all contact. Try not to feel mean, it's just too much. :hugs: I would hang off on having your mother tell her about the birth once baby is born too in case she shows up unannounced. What a royal pain in the rear end.

Thankfully i live in Kent and she lives in Wales...so no popping round thank god!!!
 

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