I feel so pathetic

[EmmaM2]

Its my first day alone with my lo today (3 weeks and 2 days old) and i was petrified I had next to no sleep last night and felt so anxious all day. My lo is quite a 'touchy' baby and hates going to sleep and cries ALOT so today i have let him sleep on my for all his naps and not tried to put him down once. If i hold him he will take a full nap until i wake him but if i put him down he wakes soon after and then gets so overtired, its a viscous circle. This means i have only left the couch about 3 times today to go to the loo and grab quick supplies. I feel so pathetic that i don't have the guts to put my baby down because i'm scared of his crying. Obviously i can't do this everyday and i already feel anxious about tomorrow. I'd be happy to use a sling but never sure when to put him in it - before or after he is asleep as he just wails if it is before and once he is asleep i'm too scared to move him - pathetic - i'm so ashamed i am being ruled by fear of a little baby!

 

[twinklestar]

oh hunny dont feel like that, looking after a new baby alone for the first time is scary!!

things will get easier , your buba is still v little, dont worry about routine etc right now and just enjoy sitting and laying with him,

have you tried swaddling? it will make your baby feel that he is being held when he is not, id try swaddling then feed him and if you like wait untill he is asleep then put him down or try it once he is fed and clean and awake

dont be afraid of his crys darling your his mummy and in no time at all you will work out what each of the cries mean and it feels great to be able to put whats wrong right again for them

being a parent is a huge learning curve, i bet your doing a great job, have some faith in yourself x x x

 

[mamajoanne]

Please don't be so hard on yourself, it was your first day alone with your baby and you survived so you should pat yourself on the back!

It will get easier. A sling does sound like a good idea.

 

[Buffy71]

You arent pathetic at all honey. Think I was like that for the first two months!!

your lo needs you and that is exactly what you're giving him. Perfect! Welcome to being a mummy. Make sure you have plenty of quick healthy snacks to hand so you get to eat something, housework etc can wait. Don't feel guilty honey - you're doing just great!

Xxx

 

[special_kala]

your not pathetic at all hun. I was terrified when my OH went back to work.

It will get better and so what that you only left the sofa 3 times any other stuff can wait for a little bit

I used our sling all the time she just slept in it if she was tired

 

[vixy]

your not pathetic! I was like this right from the start really, OH had to go back to work after just 5 days so i felt very alone but you will learn to cope, Its such a huge change to learn to cope with your LO. All i can say is try not to worry, go with the flow, dont stress about house work etc just make the most of every second with LO. They grow soooo quickly and you will then miss your new little baby. My biggest regret is not taking the time to look at my lo and appreciate every moment i had with him, it just took me a long time to adjust and now hes a big boy hehe. Your doing a great job, please try not to worry!!! Big Hug! XxxX

 

[PresqueVu]

Sounds familar! I found the first day pretty hard - and currently struggle a bit on Mondays after having had my DH helping out over the weekend.

It sounds like you are doing exactly what your LO needs and I hope the sling helps for you. I find some days that is the only way my LO will sleep - especially when he was really new. If you put them in it and just walk around for a bit the motion can sooth them and then once they are asleep you can potter about a bit or just, finally, relax!

In no way are you pathetic and yes you are being ruled by a little baby. But then so are the rest of us!!

 

[EmmaM2]

thanks girls - feeling a little better today - but back on the couch! I tried the baba sling this morning but didn't have it set up quite right and kept losing him in it! Will play with it this evening and try again tomorrow. Back to one handed typing - I guess i will just have to take it one day at a time! So glad i have this forum....x

 

[Lena]

Big hugs!!! The first 4-6 weeks I couldnt put Nathan down and i was the same as you. I'd set myself up on the couch with a drink, the computer and the tv remote and pretty much camped out there all day. I felt horrible because DH would come home and the house would be a tip and he'd have to clean it and cook dinner. He never minded though and never complained because he knew how hard it was. I think once their vision develops a bit better (around 6 weeks) you will be able to put them down so much more and it will be so much easier because they will want to see and interact with the world around them more. At the moment, your his whole world. He knows nothing else, he just wants to be close to you. Nate used to sleep on me as well but at the moment he's upstairs, napping in his moses basket and i can hear him babbling away over the baby monitor. I NEVER thought i would get him to nap upstairs. *big hugssss* this phase will pass and soon you'll be like me looking at all his newborn and 0-3 month clothes your LO doesnt fit into anymore and about to burst into tears thinking 'where did the time go'

 

[Emzywemzy]

Oh hun, it was my first day on my own with Holly yesterday and I felt exactly like you!! I was scared witless as she is also fussy and colicy and cries if I put her down (she's been diagnosed with reflux today, so might go some way to explain it). She also ALWAYS wants feeding! lol Well, today is so much better... I have put her in a swing chair and it is a GODSEND!! I had heard good things about them but couldn't afford one right now, but a lovely lady was getting rid of one via freecycle and she dropped it off yesterday. Holly has been asleep in it all morning and she has not cried once. Might be worth a try? I think they cost between £60 and £80 new, but you can get some bargains or even freebies like me if you look!

xx