I hate her...

[JViti]

Its hard. But even in your 30s your chances are still good. As much as you want more kids, you need to be able to provide them with everything. A mom and a dad...who are both there...a mom and a dad...who are a both healthy--physically and mentally. You got the shit end of the stick with your ex husband. I understand that. He was a dick to you.

Sometimes, step-kids can help to fill the hole in your heart. They may not fill it completely, but they can help--and fill it partially. For example...

My step-dad...
He was married to this woman for 20 years. Shortly after they were married, they talked about having kids. She wantd to wait a few years. OK, no problem. Few years later, they talk about it again. He really wants children, she wants to wait a little longer. OK fine. Now they are married for 10 years, in their early 30s. He really wants children, she wants to wait just a couple more years. Now they are 40. She then tells him...She never wanted kids. SHe never planned on giving him children. She was hoping he would jut forget about it and never bring it up again, but knew he would divorce her if she didnt want kids. So now, in their 40s, even if they wanted kids, it wouldnt be a good idea. They got divorced.

He then married my mom....with 3 kids....aged 24, 20, and 14. Also a grandson aged 5. They have talkd about having a child together so that he could have a child, but they know that its not a good or safe idea. So he takes on the role of step dad and step grandpa. He loves us like we are his own even tho he never lived with us or helped raise us.

yu have a chance to help raise ur bfs kids. normally nowadays, people date for a year, get engaged, marry a year later. so u culd be looking at as early as 2 years u get to try again and ull still be in ur 20s.

don get discouraged. it will happen for u!!!

 

[tommyg]

Bkrispy, TBH from what you have just written about your ex it sounds like a blessing that you didn't have a family with him. I think that could have been a nightmare for constant fights over cash and very different parenting styles.
Looking forward I think you should have a chat with your boyfriend. Be open and honest about your fertility and tell him that you would like a child. Asks for his views and what he would like? You may well find he is keen to have another child or if he doesn't you are at least able to make an informed decision if you feel you'd rather look elsewhere or are you content to be a step mum.

I was almost 33 when I met DH and having the clear signs of PCOS I knew the journey to me having a family may not be the easiest road. We had "the chat" after about 6 months, got engaged 6 months later and some how DS arrived on the scene after we'd been together 3 years.

JViti lets pray for a sticky bean.

 

[Bkrispy]

I know I sound like my priorities are all messed up.
It's just been a very mentally deraveling 10 years. I lost both fallopian tubes, a baby, and my father and grandmother who (dad's mother, and the woman who raised me) all within a few weeks of each other. I was barely 21. I am far too bitter towards my ex who only strung me along for 10 years- it COULD have been 20. I probably would have hung on.
I don't mean to be rude but "it's a blessing" i didn't have children with him is hurtful.
TBH it could probably be "a blessing" that no one gets their blessing. I might as well tell you it's not happening to you for a reason.
Ouch right? 99% of our problems stemmed from this, we had a great marriage until infertility broke it, he was not strong enough to stand by the side of a woman striken by grief of losign her children and dream of a family. I really believe none of those other things would have happened at any point had we been able to have a family together. I know him well enough to say that, even though I am bitter and angry at him, he would have been a good father, but since he didn't get that chance he ran the other way instead.
Now he's playing family man to someone else's family. Drug free and providing for her kids... ouch.
You are right Jviti.
there is a chance this guy would be willing to expand his family with me at some point. I think it's a good one, except the money part. It took me many years to raise funds last time, I might be able to do it again but I might not be able to take it mentally. I just want to stop wanting it you know but I don't knwo how.

 

[Bkrispy]

I'm sorry I shouldn't say that.
What's not meant to be for me could very well mean to be for tommyg. I really do sincerely hope you never have to hear that from someone, and your relationships do not suffer the way mine did.

 

[hannah berry]

Wow this tread was how I felt after a mc and years of trying I would honestly glare at any pregnant lady. The worse was when I met a friend who had a baby on my EDD and the baby had the same name. Then in got pregnant and my sister in law was the same as you. I understood how she felt being there myself I tried to help her but she shut me out. Then I got pregnant again and she went mental at me. She has been trying for a baby for one year and was so pissed I got the first grandchild and granddaughter and now grandson. Even though she is 8 weeks pregnant she still hates me. I know the pain in wanting a baby so bad and feeling empty that I can understand why people steal babies. I was even wishing horrible things on pregnant people. But I see now your pregnant again congrats to you.

 

[JViti]

any updates ladies?? its been waaay too long!!