I hate this!!!

[courtney89]

Right now I feel as if I am being torn between 2 lifes. My life with DF and my life with my family. I live 3 hours away from my family. My mother wants me to come to stay with them for a month or two after I have the baby, and have the baby in my home town. My DF wants me to stay here and have the baby here and have my parents/family drive here to be here for the delivery. He dosnt want me to stay there because my mother and fauther smoke and we both know its bad for the baby. I am being torn between 2 diffrent places by the people that I love. I dont know what to do or how to react. I just want to scream and cry and want to figure this out for myself. Its hard when you want the best for your baby but want to be with you family because this is a very sensitive time. God this is just outrageous!!!

 

[Merry]

I don't really know what to suggest but I think having your family around is nice, would they be willing to stop smoking/only smoke outdoors during your visit? Even having some one who smokes in the house can raise the chances of cot death, not trying to scare you but your babies health is important.

I personnaly would rather be with my other half than my family, but it your chioce

to you, hope you sort it out

 

[courtney89]

I could ask them to stop but I doubt my mother would listen, shes got some issues.

 

[NicoleB]

I hope you do what you feel is best for you in the end...but DF is who you are starting a family with. I know if it was me it would be a easy decision to make..I would not leave my DH as this is OUR family and if my family would not come to me then so be it.

Good luck sweetie!!

 

[Widget]

I have no suggestions other than it is your DF's baby too so his wishes should trump your family's wishes. It is a hard place to be put in, but the last thing you need to do is alienate the father of your child during a very important time in his life as well.

Remember its not just your baby, but his baby as well. His concerns should not be ignored. The only time I can see a man having no input into the decision making is the choice of who is allowed in the delivery room. You often hear of men insisting that THEIR mothers be present as well for the birth... ugh!

 

[fiveoyea]

I think being with DF is more important personally. I have family that will have to drive up to where we are for the birth of the baby, but my DH is my new family and our bond is important. I would never allow my child to stay with anyone who smokes...even if they did not do it while they were there, the smell is still in the house and I would just be too worried about it... the relationship bond between you and DF is important and I think it might look like choosing sides, but really your family should honor and respect your decision to stay with DF and not push you.

 

[natz123]

Only you can make the decision.
In my opinion though I would want to be with my husband when we have the baby. It's his first baby and I don't think he would want me to move away with our newborn. I feel sad that hubby even has to go to work let alone live 3 hours away from us.
Can your mum not come and stay with you? I wouldn't want to be living with my mum with my newborn, I think she would take over.
I hope you come to a solution, just remember it's your and your partners baby so you have to do what is right for the 2 of you xxx

 

[courtney89]

Only you can make the decision.
In my opinion though I would want to be with my husband when we have the baby. It's his first baby and I don't think he would want me to move away with our newborn. I feel sad that hubby even has to go to work let alone live 3 hours away from us.
Can your mum not come and stay with you? I wouldn't want to be living with my mum with my newborn, I think she would take over.
I hope you come to a solution, just remember it's your and your partners baby so you have to do what is right for the 2 of you xxx

DF will be in afghanistan when the baby is born he is leaving in october.

 

[natz123]

Ah I suppose that does make things a bit different then Hun. Can you speak to both him and your mum and talk
Through both ideas and go through pros and cons.
You are right to be worried about the smoking though I would be too xxx

 

[courtney89]

Idk honestly its to early to even be thinking about this stuff right now.