I hate when people judge you because of your age..

jessicatunnel

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I was at the dmv this morning and I was walking in the door with my daughter when this older woman was standing with her teenage daughter and shook her head and sighed and said (clearly loud enough for me to hear and everyone else in there), "another teenage mom... Shame there are so many of them these days, they just can't keep their legs shut." WHAT!? I was stunned and stopped in my tracks. I turned to look at the woman and said, "excuse me, I'm 20years old and have been with my husband for six years and have been married for two of those years. My baby WAS planned. And even if I was a teenage mom, it wouldn't have made any difference because being a younger mom doesn't make you less of a mom." And then I sat down. My blood was boiling but I tried to keep my cool. Yes, I'm twenty but look sixteen but like I said, even if I was a teenage mom it wouldn't have affected my parenting skills.

People need to shut their traps and stop judging others when they know NOTHING about their situation! I, or anyone else, shouldn't have to justify ourselves.

Ugh, rant over.
 
People can be so rude, she should have just kept her trap shut.x
 
Ugh! I hate the dirty looks I get sometimes. I get them even worse now I have two as I'm 21. I know that I'm young but I love my children and I am not a bad mum because of my age. Age does not determine the kind of parents you make. I used to work as a legal secretary in a family law setting and there were care cases with teenage parents, middle age parents and even grandparents being deemed not suitable to look after their children. Both good and bad parents come in many different shapes, ages, etc. People shouldn't be so quick to judge!!!
 
Excuse my language but what a bitch!

Well done you for saying something back, so many times people offend me and I keep my mouth shut only to regret it later, glad you did it and I hope it was loud to embarrass her!
 
I'm 25 and I too got glared at when I was pregnant just cause I look young. :wacko:
 
Well done you for saying something back to her....silly cow deserved it!
Im 29 but still look very young, most people put me at about 21.....had a run in at the GP's the other week when some woman told me I shouldnt be having children so young & out of wedlock....firstly its none of her business, I happen to be happily married but even if I wasnt why would it matter to her!
 
I can't believe how rude that is! Well done for saying something to her. I hope she was suitably embarrassed!
 
I got it all the time when I was 21! DD was conceived in wedlock as well. People need to shut their fat traps if they have nothing nice to say.

I guess I'm looking older at 25 because I definitely get it rarely now. :haha:
 
I had my first baby at 16 (got pregnant at 15) and people used to stare at me all the time. Obviously my baby wasn't planned but these things happen. My daughter is now 15 and she hasn't turned out so bad ;-)

Good for you for standing up to yourself. That woman had no right to judge you like that.
 
<- Dad here... I get IDed at anything that is for people 18+ ... And everyone thinks I'm 16. You would not BELIEVE some of the trash talk and looks I get when I'm out with my son. I've actually had many people ask if I'm babysitting, and I'll look at them like they're NUTS when I say, "No, he's mine." They scoff and walk away... Wooow... I'm 25!!! lol

My opinion is... Who cares how old/young someone with a baby is? The only problem is when they're pawning their kid(s) off on their parent(s) to go out partying or not taking care of a child. But that applies to ANYone, not just young parents!
 
Yup this happens with me alot especially as i have two. If im out and about with my daughter when my son is at pre school i get comments about how they can tell how much i dote on her and she means the world to me etc, but if im out with my son AND my daughter i get filthy looks and tuts because im young. I've got the the point of just point blank ignoring what they say, i know im a brilliant mummy, i do everything i can for my children and my age shouldn't even be brought into the equation (thus being a reason iv hardly stated my age on this site ;) ) well done you for commenting back though :thumbup: x
 
I get it the other end (am 44), e.g. when I was pregnant, everybody asked if I had done IVF (was about to, but got lucky naturally)! I do look younger, but once LO was born, I got the question about ttc, and said that I think (at 44) might not get lucky again, and then got told off for being too old!

I think people comment on anything these days!

(and good for you for sticking up for yourself!)

best wishes
 
Good for you for saying something back to her the stupid cow! But you know I get the reverse. I am 42 and though I used to look almost ten years younger than my age this is no longer the case :haha: The other day when I was out with my boys I heard this woman sneer to her friend: look at that woman, no way did she have those boys naturally, at her age. :( Well, yes I did have help (IUI) but what business is that of hers? It really hurt cause the tone she used was so disparaging, as if my boys were any less cute or were lesser babies for being conceived in a slightly less than natural way :cry: But I guess it just means that no matter who you are, how old or how young, there will always be ppl who relish in being mean and negative. :hugs:
 
People are just so ridiculous these days and so fast to judge someone. I would NEVER make a snark comment about someone who is too young or too old to have a baby. I would smile at them and say congratulations on your baby!
Whether they are conceived naturally or not, they are still OUR babies and whether we are younger or older we are all still great parents and will give our life for our children.

Now just on a side note: I'm not against teenage mom's at all, we all know accidents happen. My sister had a baby at 17. But I am against teenage (or even older mom's) mom's that pawn their children off on their parents and go out and party and never look after their babies, that I don't agree with. But again, I'd never say anything to anyone because its NOT my business and I don't know their situation so I have no place to judge.
 
I used to get the comments all the time when I had my son at 19!

My husband and I always played the single mom game in the mall. He would walk on the other side of the mall as me and we would watch all the glares I got and all the remarks of how young I was. Then my husband would take over the stroller and I would walk on the other side of the mall and literally every 10 feet he got stopped by women saying how cute the baby is and how he looks just like his daddy!!!

I HATE the double standard!!!
 
I get filthy looks, mainly from the elderly (!!!) because I look younger than I am.
I'm 26 in a few weeks! When my OH & I are walking with LO together, I don't get looks but I tend to get them a lot when I'm alone out in public with her.
Saying that though, on many occasions I have had lots of women, children & men even, stop to peek at LO and tell me how cute etc she is :)
 
For me it was not so much the older folks who had a problem with it (as many of them had children at around that age), but it was other moms/women who had waited until later in life to have kids or TTC.

I try my best not to say anything to another mom that would hurt their feelings later. Sometimes, it can be hard to tell if the person with a child is a nanny, a relative, or a grandparent. OH's mom is 45 and he is 26 and has a 3 year old, so it can sometimes trick you.

Everyone should just say "what a cute/lovely/delightful child" and then walk on. :winkwink:

Honestly, I don't think anyone would have said anything to a young mom 50+ years ago. They would have just assumed she was married and knew what she was doing (not that it should matter if a woman is married or not). This prolonged adolescence of the modern world kind of messes things up.
 
I'm 25 and I too got glared at when I was pregnant just cause I look young. :wacko:

This! I was 25 when I was pregnant with my first and I got dirty looks all the time! Why do people feel free to assume so much about people just from appearances, I'll never understand. Good on you for defending yourself!
 

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