I have nobody to turn to....

[Hayleykins05]

Hi all

So my fiancé asked me to marry him and I was over the moon, I cried tears of joy! He's my everything and I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with him, however we cannot announce our engagement at the moment as my fiancés uncle passed away a few weeks ago and he wants to announce it after the funeral which is on 10th Dec, I've told my mum, dad, sister and a few friends but sworn them to secrecy. I don't mind waiting at all I think it's only right to let the family grieve and give his uncle a good send off before we announce it.


My fiancé has said that he wants to tell his mum about our engagement and said he'd tell her on Sunday... However now he's skidding round it saying she's not in a good mood etc etc. I'm already nervous she's not going to be pleased for us, she isn't exactly the easiest woman to get along with. I just have a feeling she doesn't like me... I don't know if that's my own insecurities or what but that's just how I feel. Is my fiancé just trying to spare my feelings because he knows something I don't? Or is he just scared to say something at this time? I'm going crazy lol.

Also my fiancé has said he wants to buy a house before we get married... That's something I think can wait until we're actually married but he insists he's not getting married until he has laid down roots... It pisses me off and I think it's a cop out so we don't have to get married? I'm so emotional right now I just don't understand what's going on. Any advice would be welcome! Xx

 

[Bekah78]

Sorry timing hasn't worked out. Guess emotions are running high in your fiancés side of the family.

Maybe you'd feel better if you sat down together and worked out a plan for saving a deposit and for the wedding. Then you'd know how serious he is about moving things forward.

Congratulations on your engagement though. Hope everything that is going settles soon so you can enjoy your engagement.

 

[Hayleykins05]

Sorry timing hasn't worked out. Guess emotions are running high in your fiancés side of the family.

Maybe you'd feel better if you sat down together and worked out a plan for saving a deposit and for the wedding. Then you'd know how serious he is about moving things forward.

Congratulations on your engagement though. Hope everything that is going settles soon so you can enjoy your engagement.

Yeah the timing has been shocking, my fiance took me away for the week and had planned to propose the whole time he did say he was thinking it would be better to have waited but he stuck to his original plan... I kind of wish he has waited, I know that sounds selfish.

I'll have a chat with him about it but the last time we did he said we should move into his mums again to save but I feel it's taking a step back so we're at a crossroads.

Thank you! I am so happy even though I sound like a spoilt brat lol x

 

[ThiaC]

I'll pipe in as well

My guy is a family guy, but I've always thought marriage & family would be further down the line.
I knew he might propose quite soon (2+ years), and I pre-decided I would say yes - after all, he is definitely the man I want to be with.

After the engagement, I took a long time telling it to others and was pretty low key about it, so I could first get used to the idea myself. I asked to push marriage etc. further, so I could settle into this new situation - get a better paying job, improve my health for possible pregnancy, get him to meet all my friends and relatives...

Originally I wanted the wedding somewhere waaaay in the future, but when he mentioned it half a year later, I thought why not, even though I hadn't prepared everything I originally wished to. Then we had " the a finance talk" as well.

All the things you mentioned don't mean he's not ready for marriage or will push it really far or doesn't want it. They are just normal phases of wanting to gradually adjust to a new situation and new dreams, with the main priority as your life together

 

[Faith001]

I think you should just calm down and sort out whatever problems you are having with the entire wedding thing! I think thats the best way to go for it.