i just dont know wot to do, cant do this anymore

Discussion in 'Single Parents' started by princessellie, Oct 25, 2008.

  1. princessellie

    princessellie Pregnant with #3

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    some and my bf have just broke up...yet again

    it all started off an argument (or about 10 arguments) we had yesterday, it was both of our days off and we were meant to be going out and enojying some time together but instead we spent all day arguing, then i went to bed and he slept on the couch

    this morning he came in my room, apparently to try and make things better but we ended up arguing again, basically, he cheated on me last christmas with this lad and now i cant get it out of my head, a few weeks ago he went out all night with this girl from his work and i am sure they are shaggin too, he promises they not but then he promised me last time he hadnt shagged this lad so how am i meant to believe him, i have just had enough, we havent slept together for ... fuckin ages i dont even know how long, cos everytime we try he doesnt even get hard, so now i am sure he is either shaggin someone else or he just doesnt fancy me, either way i dont wanna be with him

    so we were arguin about half an hour ago, and i ended up hittin him :cry: i was so upset and crying my eyes out and he was just kept going on bitchin at me and i couldnt take anymore, anyway he stormed out and left his keys and left his money and went to work, so now he cant get back in cos there is a big gate round all our house, its like a uni campus thing, he took his keys for his mams house so i guess he is goin there

    i just dont know wot to do, i seriously just dont wanna do this anymore, if it wasnt for my daughter inside me i seriously dont think i would even be sat here typing this, i have a history of depression and self harm and it is all just gettin to be too much, i know i cant do anythin cos i wouldnt hurt my baby but i just dont know wot to do

    i dont even know if i should be writin this in here but i guess i am a single mammy now so i figured it would be the best place for it

    i just dont know wot to do, i am so emotional atm, help..
     
  2. brownhairedmom

    brownhairedmom Well-Known Member

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    A happy baby needs a happy mother. If you aren't happy and you are constantly arguing, what type of environment is that to bring a baby into? You can't have a relationship that isn't built on trust. I know its so difficult to leave a relationship, even though you know its not going well, especially when you're pregnant...but the mere fact that you're sitting here typing this to us shows that there is something wrong that you are concerned about. Take some time and think about it seriously, but if you decide that leaving would be the best choice for you and the baby, then you need to get out. Don't worry about the whole "she needs two parents" thing. I worried about that and I stayed there for 12 more weeks than I should have, and those 12 weeks are probably most of the reason Meredith won't see her dad at all(besides the fact he's an inconsiderate, selfish piece of crap that doesn't deserve to walk the earth :)).

    Do what is best for you and your baby.
     
  3. xXDonnaXx

    xXDonnaXx Well-Known Member

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    :hugs: I'm sorry hun. But just think of yourself and the baby. It's hard splitting up with someone you love, but it sounds like it's for the better. I only split up with my fiance last week so I know how upset you feel. Keep your head up high hun. You're strong! x
     
  4. leeanne

    leeanne Mom of 3 and Stepmom of 2

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  5. navarababe

    navarababe Mummy To Brooke :-)

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    I hope u are ok hun, what u need to remember is your strong enough to cope on your own and the love that your baby is going to give u is going to be much stronger than the love ur partner could ever give you.Chin up hun, i know what ur going through xxx
     
  6. sue08

    sue08 Well-Known Member

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    you so don't need that, just focus on yourself and your baby, the pain will go away, keep yourself busy with family and friends, take care
     
  7. princessellie

    princessellie Pregnant with #3

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    thanks for all of the advice :hugs:

    he did come back but things still arent great, im still really upset all the time and all he does is go on at me, saying we only ever argue cos i start over nothing, if he would only just understand that if i do start its cos of stuff hes done, i dont just flip on him randomly cos i have had a boring day and need some fun!

    things between us really arent wot they used to be and i am still debating whether it would be better to be a single mammy and have him see her on weekends or if it is best for her to have both of her parents there, i just dont know, obv in theory, its best if both parents live together but we are just not happy together, we fight pretty much constantly, i dont think thats such a good environment for a baby!

    just really confused atm!

    xxx
     
  8. Waiting2bMommy

    Waiting2bMommy Levi and Jax's Mommy!

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  9. Amy-Lea

    Amy-Lea Well-Known Member

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    I feel for you, being upset when pregnant and hormonal is bad, however as I had the same history mentally as you, I know what you going through.

    This might sound blunt but, you say he cant get hard, and that you's havent had sex in a while, yet last Christmas he had a fling with a lad? Maybe your partner is gay. He probably loves you all the world and your baby too hence why you's are together, maybe these emotions and feeling he is going through too are taking the toll on him and that's why you's have been arguing?

    Would you consier sitting down calmly and asking him does he have feelings for you or does he feel he isnt get what he preffers out of a relationship. if you split up amicably it and you's both realise why, however still love each other as friends, your baby can still have the most amazing up bringing. I might be talking shit but didnt wana read and run. xxxx where in lpool u from? x
     
  10. 2nd time mum

    2nd time mum Well-Known Member

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    You have to make sure you keep yourself happy and healthy for your own sake and the sake of the baby. Being on your own with the child wouldn't be a bad thing. At least you won't have the stress of wondering what your OH is up to and can concentrate on you and the baby. In all honesty I was much happier on my own until I stupidly allowed my OH back. Good luck whatever you decide but don't allow him to upset you - the baby is too important!xx
     
  11. xarlenex

    xarlenex Well-Known Member

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    I was in your position last week, in the sense I wasnt happy in the relationship, but thought having a mummy and daddy together was better than being seperate. I was terribly wrong! I ended up finding the strength and ending it. I'm so much more happier now, and I feel like it rubs off on Kyle too. He see's his daddy 2 nights a week (sometimes more) and both of us are happy seperately.

    This is just in my opinion, but I believe if it got to the point in a relationship were I actually hit my partner, I would be ending it. I just dont agree with it. And what if it happens when your little girl is here? She really doesnt deserve to see that.

    I hope things work out for you either way x
     

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