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I just need a shoulder to cry on.

Binky91

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Hi all.
I guess I will start with the fact that we got our bfp 3 days ago. Unfortunately today we have started miscarrying.
This isn't our 1st loss.

I have a nearly 10 yr old son. I had two miscarriages before him, then thankfully I had Archie.
I met my husband when Archie was 15 months. We stupidly fell pregnant very quickly, but we lost that baby. We then fell pregnant around later but lost that one too. So we decided not to try again until we were married. We got married in Dec 18. We started trying straight away and fell pregnant in March 19 with our little squirt. Unfortunately when I was 9 weeks we miscarried and it nearly destroyed me. We went on to have 3 further miscarriages last year, the last being in December. But none hit me as hard as losing squirt.
Last month on the 30th of april it was a year since we lost squirt and it hit me like a ton of bricks.
As silly as it sounds, 3 days ago when we got our bfp we thought it was a sign from our little squirt and this pregnancy felt different. Pregnancy symptoms were stronger which gave me hope. I started getting cramps in the early hours of this morning, but thought it could have been a stomach bug starting that I had caught from my husband. Unfortunately the cramps got worse and then I started bleeding. The bleeding has not stopped and the cramps are absolutely horrific.
I just don't know where to turn to. I feel my family will just see it as 'Just another miscarriage, nothing new' ECT... my husband is being as supportive as he can be, but he is a key worker so can't take time off and we can't afford for him to as I am furloughed. This time was already lonely enough due to lock down, but even more so now!

I'm sorry for the long post, and fully understand if people do not reply but I just needed to get this all off my chest. I'm broken and at the moment my world is falling apart.
 
I’m so sorry for your losses, girl. My heart ached as I read your post, and I wish I could give you a hug. I know how difficult and painful it must be for you. It’s good you have a supportive husband. I just said a prayer for both of you, and I hope that God will surround you with His comfort and strength, and heal you whenever you hurt. I’d suggest that you check out the book, I’ll Hold You in Heaven, by Jack Hayford. You can always come here for help and I’m here to support you. I know it’s not easy, but stay strong. Hugs! :hugs:
 

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