I just want answers.

Discussion in 'Second Trimester Losses' started by mommydreamer, Jun 7, 2011.

  1. mommydreamer

    mommydreamer Well-Known Member

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    Hi ladies. Ever since I had my miscarriage Thursday of last week I've been trying to think of all the things that could have gone wrong. The biggest thing that has stood out to me is that my mid-wife didn't do a pap-smear. I remember having one scheduled but when I actually got the appointment all they did was draw blood. Could there have been something wrong that they would have caught by doing a pap smear? I haven't had one in over two years and I'm just so scared that could have been it. My baby could still be with me. Please, anyone that can help would be appreciated.
     
  2. Andypanda6570

    Andypanda6570 3 Boys and an Angel Ava

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    Hi, I am so sorry for your loss :hugs: Are you getting any testing done to find out what happened? I lost my Ava at 18 weeks and they took a tissue sample but the cells did not grow, they say 90 percent the cause was chromosomal but they don't know which chromosome because the cells did not grow, so i guess I will never know. i am surprised that at your first appointment they did not give you a pap ? Did you tell them you have not had one for so long? I really don't know if having one would have made a difference, i am sorry i can't be of more help.
    XOXOOXOX Sending much love :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
     
  3. mommydreamer

    mommydreamer Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for your reply sweetie. When I told them I hadn't had one they simply said I was too far along. My first appointment wasn't until 11 weeks because I found out I was pregnant so late.
     
  4. daopdesign

    daopdesign Mummy to 3 wonderful boys

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    We are bound to all think 'what if, what if' but you can't beat yourself up about it as it's highly likely you will just not get an answer on why this has happened. I demanded a swab test the day I had to take the pill after finding out my son passed at 16 weeks gestation but the results came back clear.

    One thing I was told by the midwife who helped me deliver was that my baby had quite a bit of fluid around his neck and head but she said this could also be completely normal!

    I recently came back from Spain, was it the plane journey? Was it the glass of rose I had with a meal one night?

    For me, I think of it as natures way of saying hey.. baby wasn't developing properly so we ended it now - would you rather that then have a child with severe disabilities or go further in your pregnancy being told you should terminate :(

    My heart goes out to you hunny, you're not alone xxxxxxxx
     
  5. FunToRun

    FunToRun Well-Known Member

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    Im so sorry for your loss:hugs:

    I lost my baby boy at 17+4 in march this year. As it was our second late loss (we've had a dd since our first loss) we wanted answers and got a pm done. They came back and our little boy was perfect in every way:cry: They came back clear for me as well as our baby.

    I know we didnt get answers but i take comfort in the fact that as their was nothing wrong we can try again and fingers crossed everything will be ok.

    You'll get sick of hearing it but time is a great healer. You dont EVER forget but it dose get easier.
     
  6. jessicarachel

    jessicarachel Member

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    Hugs and houghts. I found out my baby was a girl and and that her heart had stopped just days earlier at my 20 week sca. I have had every test done and a pm and there was nothing wrong with me or Maisie, she was perfect. So unfair. No reason at all. Her little heart just stopped. First pregnancy, wanted my baby so much. Truly heart broken. People say its better nothing was wrong for future pregnancys but that does not make the constant ache and sadness and anger go away xxxx Hope we have all have little brothers and or sisters for our lost angels soon xxxx:hugs:
     
  7. DueSeptember

    DueSeptember Mommy 2 My Angel Maya <3

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  8. mdjoy

    mdjoy Well-Known Member

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    I had a mmc at 19 weeks , baby died at 14 weeks. Had my D&C 6/18. Went for my follow up yesterday and the Dr still can't tell me what happened. All she had gotten from the preliminary (spelling) report is that it wasn't an infection and there were no obvious signs to pin point what happened. So baby looked fine for 14 wks gestation. They didn't even say what the sex of the baby was! SO I have an appt for a month and she is hopeful that the full report is in with a reason. Although she did warn me that nearly half of the time they cannot find one..:( I've been beating myself up over what I could of done wrong. I can tell you like everyone else tells me, don't blame yourself and these things happen and so forth, but I know it won't do any good to say it..even though it is the truth. It most likely is nothing that we "did" or could have prevented and unfortunately it does happen and unfortunately to us. But if your anything like me, you know it but still wonder anyhow...:hugs:
     

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