i might be joining here

[Ilovehim89]

So I took James to a dr today because last night he awoke screaming bloody murder and banging his head I have been worried about James' development for sometime now, including hitting, biting, sitting on people, scratching. He hates loud noises, wont say anything but mamamamam or Dadadadada and he is almost 2. He does not wave bye or hi but he loves to be a helper......the DR said he may have a developmental delay (not sure what it is yet) and she is setting up an appointment for a development specialist and also a hearing test. She said it looks like he may have a behavioral issue as well. Dh is flipping out, he doesnt want James to get tested. He even said I was going to "paint a different picture" just so I can hear James get a diagnosis....Um what??! I would never lie! I want NOTHING to be wrong with James but if there is, it needs to be taken care of

 

[Marleysgirl]

So what does darling Daddy think is the reason behind the hitting, biting, scratching? Surely better to have your child diagnosed with developmental/behavioural issues than to admit he's just a little brute ...

You are taking the correct approach - if there does turn out to be a problem, you can then access the appropriate support to help you in the future.

 

[Ilovehim89]

So what does darling Daddy think is the reason behind the hitting, biting, scratching? Surely better to have your child diagnosed with developmental/behavioural issues than to admit he's just a little brute ...

You are taking the correct approach - if there does turn out to be a problem, you can then access the appropriate support to help you in the future.

Darling daddy thinks it is just a "kid thing" I told him its better to get him evaluated to be on the safe side and He said "If i dont go, I know they are going to misdiagnose him. And i am like "what?" He thinks they have to hear his side of the story to diagnose him but the thing is...Dh is ALWAYS at work 13-14 hours a day and i am home ALL DAY EVERYDAY with the kids...so i see it.

 

[Ilovehim89]

Does anyone have any advice???

 

[Adanma]

You need to tell the doc exactly what it is you see each day. Your husband may just be going through a denial type thing. My son's father (not my husband) wouldn't accept Ian autism diagnosis for several months. I think it's normal to have denial, but people express that in different ways. It's not okay for him to be accusing you of lying for a diagnosis though. If he wants to be there that's fine, but it will be pointed out that he is not the one there all the time and they ARE going to listen to what you say. Maybe have some video of your son in behaviours to back up what you're saying. Anyway I hope this helps and I hope you get this resolved with your hubby soon. You guys are going to need to be a team to handle this.

Adanma

 

[Peanut78]

Great that you are seeing a developmental specialist, hopefully they can help advise you

My DH also felt that my son's delays were "not that bad" and I was exagerating or being overly nervous. One of the first things he said when my son's MRI actually showed abnormalities was how sorry he was that he hadn't been more open to address issues earlier Truth be told, I think it was apparent to me because I saw my son in settings with his peers where I could see he was consistently behind in reaching his milestones - dh wasn't really exposed to this in the same way

 

[MrsRabbit]

An evaluation is a good first step. It might be as simple as a speech delay or something more serious. Many moms I know of kids with special needs deal with their husbands freaking out over the idea. They don't like the idea that they sired a child that's not 'normal' or something could be wrong with their kid. You may get similar reactions from family and friends which is why I keep most issues with the kids to myself. I've learned how harsh the judgment is and how quick everyone is willing to bring up that syndrome where parents want their kids sick on purpose.

DH however was more ready to get on the DS is special band wagon before I was.