i need advice....

[Vickie]

I don't think the other thread needs to be brought into here. I will say the reason I believe most women were taken aback was because of the second comment (the lame one).

 

[aliss]

In my research I have come to learn that cigarette smoking is far worse than an occasional joint, reasoning behind this is the chemical content.

The problem with marihuana usage is that marihuana is no longer just that. The THC content in Canadian marihuana especially is extremely strong (it is nothing compared to what you buy in the US or Europe), since most of it is shipped out from BC. Also, few marihuana sold today is "pure", it is usually laced and cross-contaminated with other more extreme drugs.

 

[aliss]

If you are in Canada you can go to any walk-in clinic and get advice from the doctor there. I'm not sure how it is in a lot of other countries, but in many places in Canada it can take a week to a month to schedule an appt with your family doctor because of massive shortages. Go to the walk-in, be honest (about using marihuana) and they will guide you from there.

Now, I'm not going to get up on you about using marihuana when pregnant, just give you some basic information. A lot of marihuana (in fact most) sold in Canada is no longer pure marihuana and the THC content is extremely strong, even much moreso than in the US. A lot of marihuana sold is laced with various other things, like cocaine, meth, and heroin. Sounds nuts, but yes, this is very true. So you have to stop.

lol i know, canada has the best pot...

but seriously, i can give it up...

Hmmm well I work in law enforcement so I can't say which pot is the best (LOL) since I'm obviously not allowed to use it, but giving it up is a very good idea, especially in the first trimester because your baby is at a very crucial developmental stage.

 

[Jade_Grenade]

I don't think the other thread needs to be brought into here. I will say the reason I believe most women were taken aback was because of the second comment (the lame one).

Agreed.
Just concerned about the state of this young and unprepared girl.
Reaching out to people is a way of becoming informed...
I'll leave it at that

No offense to anyone. I just hope this girl makes the right decisions.

 

[sara420]

i wish this had happened to someone else who actually wanted it and knows what to do

 

[Jade_Grenade]

I'm sorry about your situation sara, it is too bad that this child couldn't have blessed the life of someone who desired it wholly. It doesn't make you a bad person to feel confused and scared.
Truth is your in it now and you have to grow up a little quicker than you had planned.

Life is full of trials, this is one of yours, this is now your chance to rise above your problems.
Be strong and remember that it IS a blessing, possibly in disguise, but still, this is your baby and could end up being the most valuable thing in the world to you.

We are our thoughts, turn yours into ones of hope and excitement and you will feel better.
Above all take care of yourself and your new little bean, you will regret it if you don't.

 

[aliss]

I guess the best advice we can offer is to sit down for a few hours, browse through the site (as well as google basic pregnancy sites) and learn what it is all about, you can make your decisions from there. There are also local community services that will inform you about pregnancy, including your options (which BnB does not discuss abortion - but adoption is always an option).

On a side note, I think some of us need to be mindful that while many women here have been TTC for a long time, have experienced pregnancy losses, etc, that is not the reality for everyone and we should welcome those who aren't informed about the process. Some of us ourselves were "unwanted" babies and while our mothers may have been young or uninformed, it doesn't make them any less of a person - they just need some time to adjust and to learn about pregnancy and motherhood.

 

[Beadette]

Sara I think you might find some better advice on the teen preg board although I am just warning you that talk of not wanting your baby or wanting to get high will still cause offence to a lot given that lots of people of here have suffered losses or been TTC for a while (or just find certain views offensive) I think you know already that you should be doing different things/ changing lifestyle or you wouldn't be posting here!

Just so you know being pregnant is a scary time for everyone! (for diff reasons) and I genuinely think that once the shock wears off you may feel differently. I work with drug users and see many with pregnancies and is heart breaking. Not only that but many of those women end up with social services involvement which is not easy. Please if you would like me to find any info out for you them pm me!

Just my view so sorry if any offence caused!

 

[Beadette]

Also want to add that I agree that it does not make you a bad person. I think you will find out so much useful advice on these boards and the support is incredible! I really hope you find the support and answers you are looking for!

 

[gina8177]

Also want to add that I agree that it does not make you a bad person. I think you will find out so much useful advice on these boards and the support is incredible! I really hope you find the support and answers you are looking for!

I definitely agree with this. It is important to remember this, as I know this is a tough time. No matter what you decide to do, you will be able to do it and you'll be okay. The choices you make now are important. I was pregnant at 17, it did not make me a bad person and shaped who I am today. I would try researching local youth pregancy centers as you may be able to find good support there.

 

[sara420]

i've been looking at pregnancy websites, but i find it more helpful to talk to real people..

and i know my options... i'm totally against abortion (not saying that i dont think people should be able to make the choice.. i just think it's the wrong choice), and i've thought about adoption a lot, but i dont know if i could go through with that.. i have always wanted to have a child, but i didnt think it would happen this soon.. i guess i'm going to have to totally change my lifestyle, which probably wouldnt be a bad idea even if i wasnt pregnant.. i have used drugs, worse ones than weed, but i'm not some kind of strung out junkie, i have a pretty good job, i have been to university but i dropped out, although i can go back any time.. i'm a very caring person and i think i could be a great mom someday

 

[Beadette]

i've been looking at pregnancy websites, but i find it more helpful to talk to real people..

and i know my options... i'm totally against abortion (not saying that i dont think people should be able to make the choice.. i just think it's the wrong choice), and i've thought about adoption a lot, but i dont know if i could go through with that.. i have always wanted to have a child, but i didnt think it would happen this soon.. i guess i'm going to have to totally change my lifestyle, which probably wouldnt be a bad idea even if i wasnt pregnant.. i have used drugs, worse ones than weed, but i'm not some kind of strung out junkie, i have a pretty good job, i have been to university but i dropped out, although i can go back any time.. i'm a very caring person and i think i could be a great mom someday

Sara I agree about speaking to real people as there is sooooo much info on the Internet and books and a lot of it is just to damn technical for me. The fact that getting pregnant has happened sooner than you would have liked is a reality for many women whether that us because of their age or personal circumstances. I think that you know that you are going to step up and be a good mum (you've already given up smoking etc) but you are rightly frightened of that too! It is a huge deal! But just think of the rewards! I wish you lots of luck! Xx

 

[fluffyblue]

As for your last thread, I have to say that while I'm not in agreement with drug use during pregnancy, I'm a little surprised at the response you got.
Yes you need to quit, get help to do so, just don't do it, same as any woman smoking cigarettes while pregnant.

I have to ask though ladies, why the smackdown on this girl and not the "regular" smokers????? There are many threads discussing continued smoking in this forum, none of which got this kind of reaction.
In my research I have come to learn that cigarette smoking is far worse than an occasional joint, reasoning behind this is the chemical content.

Not trying to start trouble AT ALL. I've been on the forum for awhile now and respect your opinions, however I'm a little confused at the double standard.

I will state that I don't think smoking of any kind is a healthy way to make a baby.

5 miscarriages and an ectopic give me a right to my opinion, I dont smoke, drink or take drugs and never will. Theres no double standard from my side hunni just a lady who keeps losing her babies through no fault of her own and i then have to sit and read and listen to a young girl who judging from her posts albeit not all of them wants to take drugs and doesnt even seem bothered !

Sorry if I have offended anyone its just sometimes things rack me off !

 

[maisiemoo]

i've been looking at pregnancy websites, but i find it more helpful to talk to real people..

and i know my options... i'm totally against abortion (not saying that i dont think people should be able to make the choice.. i just think it's the wrong choice), and i've thought about adoption a lot, but i dont know if i could go through with that.. i have always wanted to have a child, but i didnt think it would happen this soon.. i guess i'm going to have to totally change my lifestyle, which probably wouldnt be a bad idea even if i wasnt pregnant.. i have used drugs, worse ones than weed, but i'm not some kind of strung out junkie, i have a pretty good job, i have been to university but i dropped out, although i can go back any time.. i'm a very caring person and i think i could be a great mom someday

You know what, i think it's great that you're here looking for advice and still here after some of the knock backs you've received. I'm sure you've realised that your life is going to be turned up side down and yes, it's clear that you've so far made some interesting life style choices.

Firstly, you need to get your head around the situation and visiting the doc, will provide you with a much needed reality check. You said you prefer to speak to real people, well get out there and do it!

It's also great that you are beginning to think about changing your diet. There's loads of advice on the internet and again, try to do things gradually. For example, if you tend to eat white bread, rice, pasta etc buy wholegrain instead. If you don't like eating veggies, try mixing them up with different saurces.

For now, avoid social situations where pot, drugs, drink etc will be a temptation. You hear about women who continue to smoke etc during their pregnancies and they will be the first to say, "well my baby is ok". You can't use substances without causing some damage and it may not always be obvious when the baby is first born.

Don't be afraid to ask questions and good luck!

 

[Tabbyfourpaws]

Hi Sara

I think it's great that you are here for help too and being completely honest. It's scary when you are older - I can't imagine it at 19. When I was your age, I was up to all sorts of things too! I am only just starting to grow up myself and I'm 29!

Hang in there hun and keep talking away. We won't judge you x Honesty is the best policy around here it's just you will get a whole mix of reactions...which is a good thing!

xxxx