i need help about bullying....

[mintypeas]

hello ladies im usually in the ttc forum as lost a baby 3 months ago but came here as got a major problem with my daughter. she is being bullied and its her so called best friend who is the ring leader and spreading vicious rumours about her like my daughter slept with her boyfriend!!!!wtf is she 13 and she would not be that stupid and is still a kid!! anyway this girl got another girl from another school involved and on friday 20 to 30 kids turned up at my home!! 3 of them came to the door and tried to entice her out so this girl could beat her up!! i told them to leave or i would call the police. then the girl who wants to beat up my daughter came banging on my door!!! i went mental at her and my son had to calm me down! i let my daughter talk to her while i was there and thought it was sorted. but now this girl my daughters best friend!! and another girl want to get her on monday!! im so shocked that they came to my home where has all the respect gone(1 of the kids told me to shut the f... up!!!). my daughter has not been to school she tried but some of the kids threw stones at her and horrible things were written in the toilet and i wont let her go through this. i was bullied most of my school life and knows how she is feeling and never wanted my own child to go through this. im going to ring the school that the kids are from and make a complaint as they were in their school uniforms and still representing their school and im speaking to the police on monday too. and going to my daughters school on monday to speak to headmaster but was wondering if anytone had any experience of this and how they handled it? my family has been through enough lately and its destorying my baby thankyou for reading this long rant x sylvia x

 

[aob1013]

Oh my, i feel so sorry for all of you

Firstly, i would be ringing the police and school tomorrow. Other than that, keep her away from school until this is sorted. I remember being bullied and my parents forcing me into school - it was horrible xxx

 

[Caroline]

hun, so sorry to hear what u r going through. I think what u r doing is fine. I would keep a written record of everything that happens too.

If the head doesn't deal with it satisfactory then you go the chair of the govenors. Failing that I then think its a matter for county hall/education authority.

Schools now have to have strict anti bullying policies, & action plans to deal with this sort of thing. Failure to do so can result in them landing in a whole heap of trouble. The school should also keep a written record of all this that has been happening.

We had issues with my son being bullied, but the head was brilliant & it has now all been sorted.

Good luck tomorrow I hope this gets sorted.

 

[hopeandpray]

i was bullied in school but it was more sly than that. in this case i would say go to the police and get them to give the kids a warning. go to the school too, to the principal, year head etc. if it is so bad that she's afraid to go to school and it doesn't start getting better i would consider sending her to another school if that's an option for you. i'm so sorry that this is happening to your daughter. be there for her and let her know that she doesn't deserve it, i know from experience that this knocks selfesteem big time

 

[leeanne]

The ladies here have given good advice.

I am so sorry your daughter is going through this. Schools are now taking bullying very seriously and I hope this particular school does too.

 

[wanna-b-mummy]

Firstly, I am so so so sorry that all this has happened to you. Kids can be so extremely cruel, and it's probably jealousy that she is a pretty young thing with a boyfriend.

I sort of understand how your daughter and you are feeling, although my situation was different.
I was never bullied in school (I'm 23 now) but when my parents divorced at 14, I fell into a depression that my group of "friends" couldn't (naturally) quite get their head around, as I was off school every other week, going home early, crying, being quiet. I got a lot of crap and pressure for it from kids. It wasn't ever hurtful, just awkward for me.
My mum talked to the school, trying to allow them to let me have time off as my weird on/off absence was making kids talk and bug me and ask questions. I began having panic attacks every morning, not wanting to go to school, worried about what the kids would say/ask me. It made my mum's life hell too. The school were so unbelievably unhelpful that my mum (then a single parent) researched other options and took me out of school and I was tutored at home from 14 - 16. Of course, this is mostly a last resort, but the help out there is available, whether it's a move of schools, home tutoring etc.

What happened to me was years ago so I am hoping that the schools are more wise to bullying/issues these days, as they were so uneducated and hopeless when I desperately needed help. Go in with a strong mind and do not back down. Demand they help. Although we did this, it was the education board that really helped in the end, so you should definitely contact them, and tell them it urgently needs to be dealt with because you and your family (especially your poor daughter) deserve to be happy and not have ridiculous, cruel kids turning up at your family home.

Best of luck hun x

 

[leighbaby]

Could you get her into some kind of self defence classes? I'm not saying that you should prepare her for a fight or anythinhg, but it would boost her confidence and she might make some new NICE friends - away from these kids.

 

[mintypeas]

thankyou ladies your advice has been wonderful. we have now got the police involved as it has got back to me that they are ing to damage my home!! police have been great and someone is taking this seriously! i feel so useless with all this i went through this all through school and never wanted my kids to experience this pain. she is being very brave and is thinking of staying at school on monday after her exam. but im really worried about it and want to protect her thats what mums do. this was all over a boy she does not even know that her so called best friend has a thing with this is all so pathetic!! sorry for the rant ladies xsylvia x

 

[wanna-b-mummy]

She sounds so brave Sylvia, as do you. I'm not a parent yet, but I can only imagine how hard it is for you to see her go through this. I am so pleased the police are taking it seriously!

I used to help young people going through rubbish like this, so if you need anyone to talk to (or if you're daughter does!) feel free to PM me

She'll soon be out of school making something of her life with this as a distant memory

x

 

[westbrja]

Sylvia,
Good for you for sticking up for your baby. The ladies have offered great advice and the only thing I can think to add is hold that school accountable. They are responsible for your childs safety. Not to scare you but these situations can be very dangerous, to the point of the child being bullied committing suicide. Do not let them or the police take this lightly. They have came to your home and obviously have no regard for their elders.
I don't know running to another school would be the best option (JMO) but continue to support your daughter. You're doing a fine job! Hugs

 

[mintypeas]

thanks ladies i totally agree that my daughter is very brave!! i went through this all through school so i wont let her be scarred like i am. the police are coming on monday so we wil see what happens then. i think these kids didnt think i would take this so seriously well they were very wrong!! going to enrol her in self defence classes as im not always there and going to take this higher than the school as they cant pussyfoot around bullies as we all know how dangerous it can get.
my daughter is at a friends for the weekend and she lives in another town so i know she is safe and hopefully smiling again when i talk to her i can hear the happiness and it makes me so happy x sylvia x

 

[Lyrah]

Sylvia, I'm so sorry about this awful situation. I too was bullied throughout my schooling and my mum had to pull me out and take it much higher than the school itself. It was terrifying and I can imagine your pain as a mother to see your baby go through what you did too. You are doing a really great job and I just wanted to wish you luck with getting it all sorted and keeping her safe. Really feel for you hun. Everything will work out ok in the end and I'm so glad the police are coming to see you on Monday - please let us know how that goes.

Thinking of you.

xxxxxxxxx