LaughOutLoud
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I need to get this out and I wasn't sure where to post so apologise if this section isn't right.
I have 3 beautiful children but I've had many bumps along the way. After I had my first I had many MC before my second came along 5 yrs later- Dd2. However, pregnancy was scary but the worst was she was born with a undetected heart detect. Had a emergency csear. Nearly lost her, had surgeries and had to handle things very differently. Initially I thought I couldn't have any more babies as Dd2 required different parenting but she grew up stronger and very independent so I was ready for another. I longed for a 'normal' birth and 'normal' time with baby. I had my son just before Dd2 turned 2yrs. I was happy to be able to just take him home with me. However, issues crept up and I'm in a bad state. I'm torn. He has gdd, hypotonia and is behind with gross motor massively. I'm back to seeing so many doctors, hospital, appointments. I'm so sad this is happening and everything from Dd2 is also creeping up in my thoughts.
I wanted a fourth but just can't see it happening now. I'm so worried about my babies. What if something goes wrong the next time? My son needs me all the time. Yet when I come across news that someone has had a new baby, my heart yearns to get that time which I didnt have. To meet someone new. To love another and do things 'normal'. But I know this would be selfish to my children. I'm already under so much stress about their health.
My head knows what to do but my heart wants more.
I have 3 beautiful children but I've had many bumps along the way. After I had my first I had many MC before my second came along 5 yrs later- Dd2. However, pregnancy was scary but the worst was she was born with a undetected heart detect. Had a emergency csear. Nearly lost her, had surgeries and had to handle things very differently. Initially I thought I couldn't have any more babies as Dd2 required different parenting but she grew up stronger and very independent so I was ready for another. I longed for a 'normal' birth and 'normal' time with baby. I had my son just before Dd2 turned 2yrs. I was happy to be able to just take him home with me. However, issues crept up and I'm in a bad state. I'm torn. He has gdd, hypotonia and is behind with gross motor massively. I'm back to seeing so many doctors, hospital, appointments. I'm so sad this is happening and everything from Dd2 is also creeping up in my thoughts.
I wanted a fourth but just can't see it happening now. I'm so worried about my babies. What if something goes wrong the next time? My son needs me all the time. Yet when I come across news that someone has had a new baby, my heart yearns to get that time which I didnt have. To meet someone new. To love another and do things 'normal'. But I know this would be selfish to my children. I'm already under so much stress about their health.
My head knows what to do but my heart wants more.