I need some positives/negatives about having another baby!

[ashleyg]

My husband and I were talking about possibly trying for our 2nd baby when my daughter (who is currently 4 months old) is around 10 months. So when the baby is born they will be about 2yrs apart.

I'd love to hear positives/negatives about having 2 kids under the age of 2. Including going through a pregnancy with a year old lol. Thank you!!

 

[smurff]

Hi, I had my 2nd baby 8 mths ago and there is exactly 2yrs and 7days between them. We had always planned a second baby and as I was 34 I didn't want to leave it to late, we didn't plan for them to be that close but we conceived on our first try. I admit it was a little scary and I did wonder how I would cope but I can honestly say it was the best desion ever. The main thing I was worried about was how my dd would react to another baby and weather she'd feel pushed out, so we took her to every appointment and ever scan and everytime the baby moved we'd say to her that that's her brother saying hello to her, she probably didn't understand any of it but I think they understand more than we realise so I wanted her involved from the start. The best moment was one evening we was all watching TV and she came over to me and put her hand on the bump and said baby and gave me a kiss. When her brother was born we couldn't get her away from him, she rocked the Moses basket if he cried, she kisses him goodnight every night and good morning to, she has just learnt to say his name and she gets so excited and dances around when I bring him down in the morning. They hate being apart, they are so close and I know in years to come they will be as well. They are very protective of each other, honestly if I did it all again I wouldn't change a thing

 

[bookworm0901]

I had my DD when my son was 20 months old, found out I was pregnant a few days before his first birthday.

Positives- They are seriously best friends. They just look at each other and grin, they never want to be apart, my son is almost 2.5 and he's a big brother protector, he always is so concerned with where she is, what she is doing. I remember my son being super clingy at her age now (9 months) but she really isn't like that because he is always playing with her, which allows me to get things done around the house. Actually, it's gotten a lot better since she started crawling though. My son is a great talker and he just talks to her constantly, tells her he loves her, he will do anything for her. The close age difference meant ZERO jealousy for us. She is only 9 months old but I know he doesn't remember life before her, and he just wants her to be happy. He has told me before- "mama, feed Charlee!!" when she's fussy lol. Oh, and I loved taking long pregnancy naps with him during the day lol.

Negatives- The beginning was a hard adjustment for me with my time. I was a SAHM who spent 24/7 with my son and after my DD's birth, I felt like I hardly saw him for the first couple of weeks. DH took off work to help and he would take the toddler, I would take the baby, and I felt like I was never getting time with my son. I remember crying hysterically one day during the first week because I had planned to spend the whole day with DS and I had an unexpected doctors appt and wasn't able to. But it has been great for my son to spend more time with other people and he's much less clingy to me than he used to be. He's still pretty clingy but not like he was, it's been healthy for us.

He's not a very good sharer, and she doesn't care much but I'm constantly telling him to GIVE.HER.A.TOY lol. Just normal kid stuff.

During the pregnancy, it was hard at the beginning and the end. The worst was cooking breakfast for my DS while I had morning sickness. I couldn't NOT cook him breakfast but I was always so blech first thing in the morning. Then at the end, I was fat and tired and he would want me to sit on the ground to play and I couldn't even stand back up haha. I also remember once having morning sickness and throwing up, while my DS stood there staring at me in shock. I would puke, then say "it's okay baby, it's okay!" It was really hard just wanting to lie down and not having the chance until it was his naptime.

The absolute biggest negative for me is sleep issues. My DS is 2.5 and just started sleeping through some nights. It's not every night though. My DD doesn't STTN yet either at all. Last night, I got DD back down at 2:28 AM. At 2:34 AM, DS woke up. I got him back down, went back to bed and an hour later, DS woke up again. I was getting him back down and no joke, less than 10 minutes later, DD was up again. I wanted to pull my hair out. That was an unusually bad night. I think if my toddler was a good sleeper, though, it would be no big deal.

To summarize, i would do it again in a heartbeat. I think the best gift you can give your child is a sibling. The love they have for each other melts my heart daily. The guilt I felt during my pregnancy and during DD's early weeks is totally gone now because I know giving them each other was the best thing I could have ever done for them. I'm actually trying to decide when to have my third. I'm done at three though lol.

 

[ashleyg]

Thanks for or your responses ladies! I know it'll be alot of work, but I would love to have them close in age. I am a little nervous about my daughter not being the only child anymore. Almost like I'm cheating her out of time with just me? It's hard to explain. Plus she came at a time when I really needed a distraction...my mom had passed away 3 months before I found out I was pregnant. She was like my little angel that came and helped me through that. I'm just nervous that I won't feel as connected to my second baby.

I really miss being pregnant though. Like I loved watching my belly grow and feeling the kicks and getting everything ready for baby. I hope that the second baby is just as exciting as the first

 

[bcos21]

Thanks for or your responses ladies! I know it'll be alot of work, but I would love to have them close in age. I am a little nervous about my daughter not being the only child anymore. Almost like I'm cheating her out of time with just me? It's hard to explain. Plus she came at a time when I really needed a distraction...my mom had passed away 3 months before I found out I was pregnant. She was like my little angel that came and helped me through that. I'm just nervous that I won't feel as connected to my second baby.

I really miss being pregnant though. Like I loved watching my belly grow and feeling the kicks and getting everything ready for baby. I hope that the second baby is just as exciting as the first

I worry about the exact same thing! I'm worried about pushing my son out of the way for another baby, almost like I'm making him grow up too fast. I enjoy hanging out with my little dude so much, I know with baby 2 I will have one of those crying days (probably way more than 2 lol)

 

[donnarobinson]

I have a two year Age gap i was due two weeks after ds1s 2nd birthday . Its hard work being pregnant with a toddler. Goes so fast cuz uve barely tome to get excited though '
Its ahrd at first and i cried a lot bt ds2 had coloc reflux and a cmpi. I also felt guilty my youngest cudnt have my full attention anymore
Daddy started dealing with him puttingg him to bed etc but once ds2 was sleeping ok i now put them both to bed
I can say i dont feel anymore tired really having two but maybe becux my first was a terrible sleeper really didny sleep thru til afta two and doesnt always now but most nights
Ds2 had been a fab sleeper from the start use to wake twice as a newborn settle back down ok he loved his moses basket unlike ds1 and he loves his cot. He sleeps thru on a good night and wakes once on a bad .
They get up early but are in bed early .:i woudlnt change it watchig them play together and fight over toys is amazing lol there now almost 3 and 1 and can honestly sAy its amazing x

 

[lian_83]

Bookworm, Thanks heaps for sharing your experience. I'm on my way to have my 2 under 2 this Aug. Excited but intimidated at the same time as I have yet to recover from sleep deprivation from DS's colic.

 

[bookworm0901]

Aw no problem! I could talk all day about how much I love it. I'm also one of three, my sister is 15 months older and my brother is 15 months younger. I loved my childhood. I was close to both siblings, we had a rough period where we didn't get along in middle school (normal) but we loved each other as babies and little kids and we love each other now, they're 2 of my best friends.

Anyway, I used to feel sorry for my DS for having to give up his time alone with mommy and daddy, but now I feel sorry for him for having to be an only child as a baby and not getting a playmate lol. I feel like my DD is so lucky to always have an awesome brother around. I think the personality of your older LO will make a difference though, my DS is just sweet and affectionate. I took a video of them playing a few mins ago and in the first 30 seconds he kisses her on the head twice.

Here's a pic I took of them the other day. He's a normal sized 2 year old, she's just a really big baby lol. https://i1164.photobucket.com/albums/q575/Ashleigh_Smith8412/IMG_23819178701252_zpsiq5fda7t.jpeg[/URL

This is Bennett holding Charlee for the first time. He was SO PROUD.[URL=https://s1164.photobucket.com/user/Ashleigh_Smith8412/media/IMG_65377829768010_zps01vnmbf3.jpeg.html]https://i1164.photobucket.com/albums/q575/Ashleigh_Smith8412/IMG_65377829768010_zps01vnmbf3.jpeg

 

[ashleyg]

All of your responses are so helpful mammas!

Bookworm, your kids are precious! I'm so excited to have that with my kids!

 

[bcos21]

All of your responses are so helpful mammas!

Bookworm, your kids are precious! I'm so excited to have that with my kids!

Thanks for the thread, I have been wondering the same things!! I anticipate the first couple of months being rough but I really enjoy having my siblings I hope my son does too!

 

[MumToEva]

I love having my 2 close together. Yes, it has it's hard days, but I think the positives outweigh the negatives. My eldest was 17 months when her brother was born, and she was really too young to know any different, whereas I see friends who had a 2.5 or 3 year age gap and their noses have been put out of joint by having a new sibling so much more than mine ever did. I also preferred to get the baby stage over in one go - I was used to lack of sleep because my daughter didn't sleep through until just before he was born, so i was used to it. Pregnancy was quite hard withs toddler though, particularly if you have morning sickness but still have to feed a young child. Some days I do feel ike I play referee all day long because of them both being so young in a way that I probably wouldn't have to do if the age gap had been bigger, though other days they are great wee buddies and entertain each other so well - I find if I have just one for whatever reason I have to entertain them more because they get bored without each other.

 

[CaptainMummy]

I have 3, my youngest two are 13.5 months apart. My eldest will be 4 this month, so I have 3 under 4.

Pregnancy was easy, but i have had 3 very straight forward pregnancies, im very lucky, so I never struggled with that.
My elder 2 both sleep all night, and dd3 is a relatively good sleeper at night too. She is 10 weeks and sleeps roughly 8-8 with one quick feed somewhere in between. She is definitely the best sleeper of the three at this age. Im not sleep deprived at all. Again, I feel lucky.

I find it quite hard during the day to keep up with them all! The main thing is that dd2 (16 months) is so active and constantly requires me to watch over her, and it can be tricky when I have to make dd3 a bottle. The baby is quite fussy during the day and its almost impossible for her to sleep, because of the other two making so much noise, and my 16mth old doesnt do 'quiet'.

As much as i find it a bit hard (im also a single parent, as of 8 months pregnant!) i absolutely love it. My two big girls adore their baby sister, and each other. They make each other laugh (and cry, ill be honest!) and its great seeing them play. They talk to the baby, even dd2 speaks to her in a cutesy voice! I know that in a year or so, my youngest will be part of their little 'gang' and i will have three gorgeous little girls, who have each other to play with, and grow up with.

https://i1304.photobucket.com/albums/s521/paigesmummyxx/dec%2014/DSC_0282_zpsope0a77f.jpg

 

[StaceyKor]

There's 25 months between my girls and without a doubt trying for out second so quickly was the best decision we have made. Pregnancy was great for me both times tbh, no real sickness or aches/pains etc and I slept really well. The main advantage to being pregnant with a baby under 2 was that she still napped once a day so I knew I'd get those couple of hours to relax when I wasn't in work. She stopped napping just after DD2 was born so if I'd been pregnant now instead of last year it'd have been much harder on me.
It has it's hard days, but that's going to happen even with just 1 child: my 2 yr old is definitely more work than my 5 month old. Their bond however; is growing stronger by the day. Emilia loves having a little sister. She was always a shy girl but it's brought her out of her shell and she is much more outgoing. Sienna adores her big sister, watches her all the time and proper belly laughs at the things she has done. Now that DD2 sits unaided they at on the floor together. I think it'll be even better when DD2 can crawl or walk and they can get up to mischief. There will be hard days but I have no doubt positives outweigh negatives xx

 

[ashleyg]

Thanks so much for the encouraging words everyone! It makes me feel less crazy to want this lol. I am prepared for it to be harder but Im also looking forward to pregnancy again as well as growing our little family!