I need support and I feel like this might be the best place to ask for it

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - First Trimester' started by amanda111308, Jan 13, 2021.

  1. amanda111308

    amanda111308 Mama to 3 boys

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    Backstory: I have 3 boys and after my third son was born (exactly 2 years ago today), My husband and I decided we were done and that our family was complete. I had a tubal ligation surgery on October 15th, 2019 and I never looked back.

    Fast-forward to today: I woke up this morning annoyed because my period was due to start on Saturday (the 9th) and nothing was happening. So I whipped out my period inducing hpt to confirm I was not pregnant and hopefully that would get things rolling (like a stress release if you will).

    Well... it was positive... immediately positive. I'm not upset but I am completely shocked and overwhelmed. My husband was happy and said "holy smokes one more shot for a baby girl! If it is another boy we are gonna have a hard time picking another name, since we both fought like crazy on our third" I am so happy he took the news so well but I went back to university full time in September in pursuit of my degree and we had so many plans and I feel terrible that I am grieving this when I should be nothing but happy and grateful.

    I am also terrified that this could end up as an ectopic pregnancy because of my previous tubal ligation surgery.

    Has anyone ever experienced a pregnancy post tubal ligation? I am so thrown and worried. This baby is already loved and wanted so much but I am worried about getting attached only to potentially lose it.

    I appreciate any and all advice you can give, I'm seriously terrified and I don't know where else to turn.
     
  2. dairymomma

    dairymomma Well-Known Member

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    First things first, a cautious congratulations. I know this is unexpected news and it comes with a whole host of worries due to your tubal ligation but I do know of women who have had successful pregnancies after tubal ligation so there is hope.

    Second, you need to contact your doctor right away and discuss this with them. They can order up some bloodwork to see if your hormone levels are rising normally (low and/or slow rising hCG levels can be a sign of an ectopic pregnancy) and get an ultrasound scheduled for around 6 weeks. By then they should be able to see things clearly enough to tell whether or not the pregnancy is where it is supposed to be.

    Third, try to relax. Hard I know but still it's best to try at least. Stress isn't good for you or the baby.

    Fourth, give yourself time and space to grieve. You had plans for a future that may be changed now and it's hard to let go of those plans. It's totally normal to grieve that. I've been there too. My youngest child was a surprise since I was already in peri-menopause and battling secondary infertility for almost two years at that point. I figured my uterus had closed up shop and I'd spent a long time grieving for the babies I wouldn't have because of it. Then BAM, I got a bfp. And I got pissed. I'd finally reconciled myself to the fact that I was only going to have three kids and was starting to get excited about the fact that we wouldn't have to do diapers and every two hour night time feedings and all that fun newborn stuff anymore when I got a surprise bfp. I was SO mad. Pregnancy has never been easy or fun for me. I have chronic illnesses that cause complications, I'd lost so many babies over the years and I was running out of steam when it came to ttc, and my successful pregnancies were getting more complicated. I was terrified. I was mad. I'd had all these plans and I had finally accepted that we weren't having as many kids as I'd dreamed of because my body wasn't capable of having them when I got hit with another pregnancy. I had to mourn the loss of that contentment and peace as much as I had to work to accept that I was pregnant again. In the end, it turned out fine and he's now a healthy happy 3 year old but that pregnancy was so hard to accept at first. So be gentle with yourself and let yourself feel all the feels. It's normal and it's okay. Especially under the circumstances.

    I hope this helps ease some fears and this ends up being a healthy and happy 9 months for you.
     
    LoneWanderer likes this.

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