i need to respect her wishes

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive' started by Tudor Rose, Aug 30, 2009.

  1. Tudor Rose

    Tudor Rose Mummy

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    but it will be a hard 5/6 months for me.

    some of you know im to be bridesmaid in late spring for my SIL and ive been ttc No3 since january, well OH has said we need to stop now til after december due to SIL wedding to do with his family etc. i know im being a bit selfish but i had to wait 2 years for OH to come round to the idea of a 3rd child and ive had a tough 9 months so far. so now things are on hold again.
    im thinking of just not bothering at all now there a constantly things halting us ttc.
    sorry its not a question jus a bit of a rant.:(
     
  2. kmac625

    kmac625 Mom to baby Clara

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    Awwww hun, sorry to hear. It took me years to convince my dh that we are capable of taking care of a baby and I would hate it if a "reason" came up to postpone that now. I don't see why you can't still keep ttc even if you're a bridesmaid in the spring...my boss was a bridesmaid at her friend's wedding on her due date for her first lol. If OH wants to stop ttc make sure it's him who uses protection (don't go on bcp). It's his decision, make him wear the stupid condom.
     
  3. lili24

    lili24 Preggers with #2!

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    I really wouldn't stop TTC for anyone. There is no guarantee you would gt pregnant before the wedding anyway, we all know how long it can take x
     
  4. BizyBee

    BizyBee Mom to Luke, Expecting #2

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    You are not being selfish! You shouldn't have to put your life on hold because of a wedding. A baby will be with you forever, the wedding will be a mere few hours. Good luck in whatever you decide! xx
     
  5. Sazzoire

    Sazzoire Well-Known Member

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    Why don't you just let 'nature' decide.... what will be, will be...

    xx
     
  6. lori

    lori Mom to Simon & Oliver

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    I agree with the other posters: I wouldn't put TTC on hold someone else's wedding. I can't imagine your SIL being upset if one of her bridesmaids is pregnant, and if she is, she needs to get over herself. I wish you guys lots of luck with whatever you decide :flower:
     
  7. nickyb6969

    nickyb6969 ttc#3 mum2-2boys &3angels

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  8. Nise

    Nise Tried to Conceive!

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    I'm hoping he has a better reason for stopping than simply you possibly needing an extra panel or a stretchy bit in the back of your bridesmaid dress. I'm sorry to hear your news, you must be extremely frustrated. I agree with Kmac, let him take responsibility for you not getting pregnant.
     
  9. DragonMummy

    DragonMummy Well-Known Member

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    Sorry but that's the most selfish thing I have ever heard - asking you to postpone TTC just for one bloody wedding day? What's the worst that can happen? You'll get a maternity BM dress! Tell them to foxtrot oscar and crack on regardless mate!
     
  10. Crypto1976

    Crypto1976 Guest

    Ditto ditto ditto! Good luck. Strikes me as the height of vanity not to want a pregnant BM!XXXXXXX
     
  11. BumpyCake

    BumpyCake Preggers with #1

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    Is he worried about you being pg or having to care for a LO during the wedding? Just askin' cause I had a thought that if you got pg this cycle, that you might have a newborn.
     
  12. Megg33k

    Megg33k Going with the flow!

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    I have a friend who's wedding I'm to be in on Nov. 28, and she originally told me that she's flat kick me out of the bridal party if I got pregnant, because pregnant bridesmaids were tacky and it would take attention away from her on her wedding day. Personally? I wanted to straight up stab her in the face with a butcher knife. *nods*

    When I had my chemical, I chose to drop out of the wedding, before I knew that the bean came sans glue. :( Turns out I'm back in now and she did since retract her selfish desire to not have a preggers BM... but now I could get knocked up today and not really have to think about showing by Nov 28. After the conversation about it, I'm actually a bit sad that I have no chance of making it "tacky."

    In other words, screw him... literally and figuratively... keep trying. It's your lives, and babies are forever. Not to put a damper on things, but what if it takes another year? You're supposed to put it off for 6 months so that it will take a year and a half? I mean, it could happen this very cycle... but I wouldn't ever take the chance of putting my life and happiness on hold for some stupid wedding that will last all of an hour. Bah! Do it anyway!
     
  13. Pixxie

    Pixxie Mum to 1 little girl

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    Im sorry I might be being a bit dim here but why on earth do you have to stop TTC? xx
     
  14. calm

    calm Well-Known Member
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    Reading you and Meg I can only conclude that weddings must turn people into idiots (sorry). How dare some persons happy day interfere with something so important in your life. I don't know if its because I had a simple wedding myself, but just the thought of me telling people how to live their life because of my wedding to me sounds like MADNESS. For gods sake, tell them to get over themselves, and concentrate on the rest of their life and happiness instead of making such a fuss about one particular day, one thing is wanting a lovely day, another wanting people's life to stop because of their wedding. Gosh this has made me really cross!!!
     
  15. moomin_troll

    moomin_troll mummy to zane and corey

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    how dare he say that u have to stop ttc just for a stupid wedding n his family.

    what bullshit tell him to f off!
     
  16. shambaby

    shambaby hayden's personal chef

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    has your sil actually asked you to stop ttc? or is it just your oh who says you have to?

    personally, i think if it is your sil who has asked you to stop, then maybe it is her who needs to respect your wishes! yes, a wedding is a really important event, but it's nowhere near as important as the marriage and the life that comes after it and if she can't see that then i have concerns for hers.

    if it's just coming from your oh though maybe you need to have a talk and make sure he really is just concerned about your sil's feelings and hasn't got cold feet about ttc?

    hope you resolve this and don't put off something as important as ttc for the wrong reasons :hugs:
     
  17. Jessa

    Jessa Guest

    I can't believe that someone would expect you to do this for their wedding. It's very selfish on their part. I hope you keep TTC and it will happen when it's time. :hugs:
     
  18. Caterpiller

    Caterpiller Not cooperating

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    My BFF is having her second wedding next year in the UK - she got married in India this year, but wants to have the UK one, and Christian her baby at the same time. She has asked me to be the matron of honour, and I am also to be godmother. She knows I am TTC, and her only concern was setting the date, so that I could still travel - there was nothing about putting it on hold - you have to agree - I am playing two pretty major roles. She has decided to wait to set the date until the end of the year - she is looking at April/May, so we need to get through the next couple of months and see how things go.

    Sorry, but you should not have to put anything on hold for anyone. IMHO
     
  19. Caterpiller

    Caterpiller Not cooperating

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    Oh, and why are people so tied up in weddings - its the marriage that's important not the stupid effing day for crying out loud. Perhaps if people realised that, marriages would last longer - the wedding is the fairytale, but it doesn't necessarily come with a 'happy ever after'
     
  20. Marisa08

    Marisa08 3boys & having a GIRL!

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    My BFF was 8 months pregnant in my wedding. She looked was beautiful. No way would I have asked her not to be in my wedding because she was pregnant. Not sure what SIL problem is. Do what is best for you and hubby :thumbup:

    xoxo
    Marisa
     

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